Today's inspiration comes from a client who wrote the following email to me:
Thank you once again. This time is for helping to remove a deep-seated block inside me. Since your last session I have peacefully embraced my tears. Because now I understand it is the body's desperate need to flush out the pain. And gosh, do I have alot of pain. I hope to find out why and where did all these pain come from in your next PLRT session.
I always hate myself when I cry, people around me hate it too, in fact most people I know are afraid of and some even disgusted by my tears. But when you told me crying is our body's way of clearing our pains, I felt a huge weight lifted and a thousand puzzles solved.
I shall let the tears flow, if the body need to release it. I need to love my body, not just my mind and spirit, cos thanks to you, now I know.
Once again, your healing rock!
I can understand perfectly what my client was experiencing. In my younger days, I would only go to the toilet to cry. I didn't like other people to see me crying either. Tears in our society are often viewed as a form of weakness, something to be ashamed about. Most people respond to tears in a negative way - with annoyance, anger, pity, awkwardness - and we either turn away from it or make attempts to stop the person from crying because of the discomfort it causes us.
But when I started my healing journey, there were lots of tears. I learnt to view tears as a positive thing. As I wrote in my email reply to my client, "Tears are the soul's way of cleansing away the grime... so tear away and love your body for knowing exactly how to detox itself emotionally. Once again, i LOVE tears."
I really do. During moments of emotional detoxing, when the tears arise, despite the pain that accompanies those tears, there is a part of me who feels relieved, even joyous, for this part recognises that another chunk of emotional garbage has been freed. And this means that there is more space in my beingness for light, for love, for joy.
To me, a healing session is not good unless i have cried buckets of tears. My healing breakthroughs all come from me being a running water tap. The more tears, the better!
To be perfectly honest, my job is to make people cry. Ok... that sounds a little sadistic doesn't it? *lol* Well, I see myself as an "emotional midwife". Instead of delivering babies, I deliver emotional pain. I help my clients to access the pain that has been buried there for years and years, and most of them don't even realise it is there, and I use EFT and sound toning to release the pain in the gentlest of ways.
So yes... most of my clients do cry, even the guys. And my motto is always, better in than out! And while I do offer tissues (only because I have cried without tissues being made available to me and the snot running down your nose can be very gross!), I make it clear that it is not a gesture that means "pls wipe those tears away and stop all that crying". If I feel that the client doesn't mind the tears, I don't offer tissues at all. Just let it flow man!
Once again, tears are our body's way of healing itself, so next time you get the urge to cry - celebrate and cry away! Just find a private space where you can cry in peace, without having to worry about people's judgments.
Btw, most pple are afraid or disgusted by tears cos they are also afraid of facing their own pain. Do not allow yourself to be judged by them. Instead, have compassion for them, for they forget to honour their body and embrace their pain.
And if you happen to be one of those who are uncomfortable with tears, learn to stay with the discomfort for a while. If you see others cry and this makes you feel uncomfortable, take the opportunity to ask yourself, where is this discomfort coming from. This is your chance to tap!
Here's a tapping exercise you may want to use:
Tapping on the Karate Chop point, say "Even though I feel _____ (anxiety/shame/disgust/etc) when I cry or when I see people cry, I am willing to release this need for protection, and I allow these tears to facilitate the healing process so that I allow more light to shine through from within."
Tap on the remaining EFT points noticing the thoughts and emotions that arise as you do so. Finish off by tapping 2-3 rounds of the EFT points and saying "I honour my pain" at each point.
Someone once called me a crybaby before... I love that! :)
Lena Chen is an experienced EFT practitioner and author of "Emotional Freedom at your fingertips: How to get from PISSED to PEACE in mere minutes with Emotional Freedom Techniques" as well as creator of the EFT Affirmation Cards. Her expertise lies in helping her clients to heal chronic pains, relationship conflicts and depression. With her keen intuition, compassion and the wonderful efficacy of EFT, she has helped hundreds of people to heal themselves, thus improving their self-esteem, health and relationships. To find out more about Lena, please visit her website at www.lenashealinghaven.com or contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.