The Myth of Perfect Sexual Control

By Benny A. Gilbet

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The Contest
We have grown up inside an ambitious society where accomplishment has been highly valued. We are conditioned to do our best. There is a lot of pressure to do well and there are advantages for doing so. This is what makes our economy work, encourages free enterprise, and enables people to discover their excellence. However, in this ambitious environment, how can we not help but want to be an expert lover, to offer the best pleasure, and also to trigger our partner's best climaxes? We'd like to acquire the coveted sexpert's trophy and crave to be remembered for "a job well done." We've been conditioned to try to be the best at everything else and if we can't be, at least we should be good in bed.

The Cause
In this complicated contemporary society, we are given thorough directions regarding how to correctly operate everything. However, when we men received our most personal equipment, we were not given an instruction manual. The misconception of perfect orgasm control is spawned through the belief that Mother Nature intended sex to last and no instructional manual is necessary. This misconception is fueled by the need to be the best in a competitive society where it appears that every other man can last forever.

The Physical Response Cycle
Simply put, the cycle begins with a feeling of arousal and, if there is stimulation between a man's ears and/or between his legs, blood is packed into his penis. The result is the firming and elevation of his appendage, now more sensitive to touch when compared to its flaccid state. Any stimulation of the erection moves a man to a high and very pleasant state of awareness which inevitably pushes him over the brink and then he orgasms. The difference between a man with ejaculatory control and a rapid ejaculator is the rate at which men move from one stage of the cycle to the next. The premature ejaculator speeds through the arousal, almost misses the plateau, and is frequently caught by surprise when he abruptly finds himself at the point of no return.

The ability to slow down the cycle doesn't come naturally and some men are apparently unable to develop control easily. We realize that even individuals with apparent control are not flawless in their control over their ejaculatory reflex, occasionally being surprised by an unintentional slip. In learning climax control, a man must learn to slow down his climb up the ladder of excitement and remain a bit longer inside the pleasurable plateau of arousal. It will not be the best control and it won't always be easily won.