For a while now I’ve been working on finding the essential elements that you must include in an online profile. After reading hundreds of books on psychology, philosophy and attraction, I’ve come up with these six fundamentals. I strongly believe they need to be conveyed properly if you’re going to get a date. You should be able to look at your profile and see if they’re there. They’re in no particular order.
A woman who reads your profile will have to have a STRONG desire to know more about you. That means you’ll have to convey enough to get her interested, but not so much that she can guess who you are. It’s a delicate balance and maybe the most difficult to do well. If she opens you by asking questions, you know you’ve done it right.
A good amount of guys online don’t have much confidence with dating. Their lack of ‘dating confidence’ actually shows in their profiles. If you can prove that you’re not one of these guys, you’ll go far. Voicing assertive, strong opinions is one way of conveying confidence. Also, the way you write – in an active, rather than passive, voice, will usually show that you have confidence in yourself.
You have to set yourself up as the prize if you want to get dates. You need to be seen as attractive to other women – this can be done by using social proof, and by being selective. To date you, she needs to feel like she’s getting the better end of the deal and her friends will be envious.
4. Show that you have something to offer
Without qualifying yourself, you need to convince women that you bring something to the table. Your wit, charm, and personality can do this for you if you have a killer profile. Convey your natural qualities well and women will automatically ASSUME you’re high status.
5. Have a life/ambition/goals
You need to at least show that you have a direction for your life, even if you’re not financially successful at present. Listing your salary won’t cut it. If it’s high, you’ll always wonder if she’s a gold digger. If it’s low, then it’s just bad advertising. You don’t want to advertise your current salary if you can advertise your potential salary well. It’s better to sell your ambition than your salary or your job.
Come up with a way to package and sell your job so it sounds COOL and INTERESTING. Note – if you work 60-70+ hours per week, do not consider this a selling point. She’ll think you’ll never have time for her.
The trick is to show commonalities with women, so they’ll WANT to feel a bond with you. You don’t want to appear as though you’re seeking rapport, by saying things most guys say. Also you have to avoid clichés.
This is where you need to be unique. Say about 5 distinctive things you like. If she bonds with one of them, it will be a much deeper bond than if she bonded with several clichés. Often, the opener she uses will be something like, “Well, wouldn’t you know, I also love to play monopoly!”
So, I think these are then main traits that get women wanting to meet you. If you have any other ideas, I’m happy to hear about them. Send me an email at email@example.com
Eric Lercara is a freelance writer and online dating coach. He advises men through one-on-one phone consultations and emails. He also reviews online dating profiles for men to make sure they are presenting their most attractive selves online. Visit www.dateperday.com for more free articles.