I've received so many requests for advice from women who are desperate because their men either broke up with them or became more and more distant and less willing to keep in touch or show affection.

I can relate to that. I have had my share of similar experience in my 20's when a man whom I was so attracted to and who was so hot in pursuing me became cold when I showed too much eagerness. And the more I tried to prove myself to him, the more distant he was. Finally, I never heard from him again. And it took me 2 years to get over him for a few weeks of intense fling we had.

Stupid me, I know. But I was young and naive then. I thought a man thought the way I/women did. And then I met my ex whom I was so physically attracted to, the type of man most (feminine) women were falling for. Don't ask me how difficult it was to get him to commit.

And he was just so typical a man who would go into his cave for days without returning my calls. I was at the time just over a 9 year relationship with a beta male: a man who was more in touch with his feminine side (not an alpha male like my ex) and I was ignorant of what "real" men were like. I expected him to be as easy and loving/nurturing as my beta ex with whom I never had to do anything for attention and affection because he was always available to me all the time.

And when he wasn't anything like my ex, I didn't understand that and my skewed expectation basically created a huge problem for myself and, then, our relationship.

It was then. I'm much different now after what happened the last 2 years. I learnt a lot and have a much better understanding of the male psychology and what makes them attracted to women.

Today I know exactly what makes a man tick. What makes them go crazy over you and want to claim and commit to you. I've figured out the secret...

Is He lukewarm? Does He Refuse To Label the Relationship? Read This.

So in that way, it's been a blessing in disguise.

Ladies, men are attracted to our feminine charm, that goes without saying. They love the way we feel upon touch, smell, speak, act, dress....but they can't relate to our emotional habits, not in the way we naturally sense with one another.

They weren't brought up that way and their genetic make-ups are not so much for cuddling and cooing, but for bringing home food and protecting their families. Emoting isn't high in their priority. So when we are launching so much emotional charge, they become uncomfortable and will look for a shield to protect themselves.

That doesn't mean we can't open up, ever. We just need to look at the right time and place and be more tactful in how we express ourselves. And we shouldn't expect the kind of ways our girl friends will respond with because men were brought up to find solutions to a problem. So he often would not just listen and empathize with us but he would try to "fix us" by giving advice on what to do which usually makes us feel worse.

For them it doesn't make sense to just be with us in our sorrow without trying to find a solution to improve the situation. They might try when we tell them what works for us but in general they won't be as comforting or "supportive" as we would expect them to be. Worse still, they might ask cluelessly, "So what do you want me to do?"

Men show their love not through words but action. They think they need to do something to show us they care. Being romantic/emphatic isn't so much of doing anything. It's not tangible enough. They are not the creatures of the "abstract" like us.

To understand what makes men tick: what attract and repel them, Click here: Why He Disappeared

You will learn the ultimate solution to the puzzle why he disappears or break up with you and what you can do to prevent that once and for all.

If he has broken up with you, click here to learn the ways to make him beg to take him back (reverse the table).

Author's Bio: 

This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/katarina.phang for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.

Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She is finishing her 4th book, a self-help book/memoir on her experience of dealing with breakup and how to get on the reconciliation path. She founds a free ex-back support group and relationship forum http://gettheloveyoudeserve.info.