The Stress of Divorce

By Vanaja Ghose

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An imminent divorce proceeding, as well as the events that follow it, are said to be one of the most stressful times in anyone's life. Why? Well, there is so much frustration, anger, pain and disappointment, not to mention stress and anxiety for the future. You have to worry about finances, as well as deal with the emotions that inevitably surface. Add to that the physical aspects of moving out! It is no wonder that stress levels are high at this time.

So is there any way to get though this stressful time? There is. You need to deal with the stressful issues. Once you can control the level of stress in your life, you will be able to see the picture a whole lot clearer.

The Emotional Stress: Rely on Others

I had friends to rely on when I went through divorce. You might have a hard time letting others into the pain and frustration, especially your happily married friends. Perhaps you are not ready to rejoin the couple's game night as a single person, but you still need to rely on the support of friends and family. Go out for dinner, see a movie, and take them up on the offer to babysit so you can enjoy a glass of wine in the tub. And, most importantly, talk about what has happened. Your support group is there to listen. If you don't want to hear their advice, then just talk and tell them to keep quiet. They are there to help you through this in any way possible.

The Mental Stress: Don't Forget about "Me"

One of the most frustrating things about getting a divorce is that, once again, you have to refocus your attention on something else other than yourself. For most of your marriage, you were probably concentrating on your husband. And now, you have to concentrate on the stupid divorce. Don't let this consume you. It's time to start with the 'me' time. Re-connect with lost friends, spend time doing stuff you love with the kids and explore long lost hobbies that you once loved to do on the weekends. Furthermore, pamper yourself. Now's the perfect time to take those weekly spa visits, to buy yourself a new pair of sexy shoes and to enjoy the dessert menu without feeling guilty about it.

The Financial Stress: See a Lawyer

Finally, you need to tackle the burden of your financial situation. Gather up your financial statements and go through them one on one with a lawyer that you feel comfortable with. It's a sticky situation but passing the financial issues over to a trained professional can allow you to relax and concentrate on the rest of the affairs. I highly recommend a lawyer who believes in the collaborative process - he or she will help you reach a settlement without going to court.