It’s wonderful when you meet a person where the chemistry is great and the sparks fly. The challenge becomes, How can you keep this person in your life? For the problem is that a great sexual attraction doesn’t always turn into a lasting relationship. Over time, be it weeks or months, your partner might lose interest in you even when you are trying your best to keep the romance going.

So what can you do to transform your relationship into one which lasts?

1. Remain Confident In Yourself
Your partner will be attracted to you because he or she finds you attractive, special, and fun to be with. When you initially meet, they will be so intrigued with you, they will want to know everything about you. This will cause you to feel important and special. The intensity of the first weeks and months is truly intoxicating. It is only natural to expect that this wonderful intensity will last.

This is not realistic. What you must understand is that when the initial intensity reduces, it doesn’t mean that your partner has lost interest in you – only that other aspects of their life which they have put on hold need attention. If you misinterpret what is happening, you may mistakenly believe your partner has lost interest. In suddenly feel desperate at the thought of losing your partner, you may become needy, clingy, or too demanding.

.How to avoid this very common problem? Remain confident in yourself. Understand that for a relationship to transform from an intense romance into a lasting, solid relationship, you will remain a part of your partner’s life, but not 100% of it. Your partner will want to have a balanced life with focus on career, family, health and fitness, along with the fulfillment of personal life goals. You should want the same for yourself as well.

2. Be Interested In Your Partner’s Life Goals
To create a relationship which lasts, you need to be seen as a valuable addition to your partner’s life.
This means that you need to be interested in aspects of your partner’s life which are independent of your relationship – career, health and fitness, family, and personal goals.

Intense romantic relationships are fun in the short term. But like a wonderful vacation, at some point, you need to come back to real life. To create a relationship which lasts, you need to become the person your partner wants to come home to. This means that you must be the person your partner wants to talk to about aspects of their life which are important to them. You must become a true friend, a person who will listen, be empathic, and offer helpful advice. If you do so, you will become indispensible in your partner’s life.

3. Build Your Own Self-Confidence
Creating a lasting relationship requires self-confidence and the capacity to be a true friend to your partner. This is certainly easier said than done when you lack confidence in yourself. The tendency to become needy or demanding is only human when you fear that you are losing the love of a partner who has provided you with so much fun and support.

How then can you build your own self-confidence? By building up your own self-esteem and self-worth. If you are like a great many people, you will secretly believe that you aren’t good enough. You will believe this because of events which will have happened earlier in your life which will have caused you to doubt your own worth. What you must discover is that you have everything you need to become self-confident, with the ability to create a lasting, loving relationship.

The bottom line is this: You deserve to have love and happiness in your life. But what you must understand is that only you can make this happen. To transform your romance into a lasting relationship, you must develop the confidence to become the person whom your partner wants to come home to. If you are having difficulty transforming your romances into a lasting relationship, developing your own self-confidence will be the key to your success.

By Andrea J. Moses, M.S.W.

Transform Your Romance Into A Lasting Relationship is a copyright © of Andrea J. Moses, MSW. 2014. All rights reserved.


Author's Bio: 

Andrea J Moses has her M.S.W. degree from the University of British Columbia. Andrea has been practicing for 30 years as a psychotherapist and relationship coach. She is the published author of Transform Your Life Now, Emotional Rescue, Choices, Big-Time Change.