"There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties or you alter the way you meet them." (Phyllis Bottome)
I found this quote and how true it reads but only if you look on difficulties from a positive perspective.
Some people are overcome by difficulties and give up easily, while others run away emotionally and never seem to address difficulties until circumstance or situation “force” them to act.
Others see them as challenging life experiences that need to be addressed. Although there may be a degree of venturing into the unknown accompanied by some fear, they know that there will be other challenges they will have to face with their special needs children and they cannot keep running away or passing the responsibility to someone else.
The above quote can be broken down into two beliefs.
1.You alter the difficulties
2.You alter the way you look at them
When you put things into perspective regarding special needs parenting and first consider altering the difficulties. What this really means is you use whatever resources and ideas you have to change the situation.
Inspiration may not come to you immediately but there is always a solution to lifes problems and if you are not in the right mindset to recognise a way out, it may pass you by.
Now opportunities come and go all the time so there will always be events and circumstances that come your way to help you through any difficulties experienced with your special needs child.
You may not set the solution on a platter, you may only get a part solution or a burst of inspiration or idea that crosses your mind which prompts you into taking action to solve the problem or at least lessen the impact of the problem that you or your special needs child have to face.
Do not ever worry about taking action, it is taking no action at all that causes a status quo and can lead to a build up of problems or an escalation of an existing problem.
This really leads to the second part which is altering the way you look at things. Two people can look at the problems faced by their special needs child.
One may see despair, hopelessness and fear for the childs future while the other will look at the child almost as a clean canvas and consider what marvels the child can achieve in his or her life.
They never shut the door on expectations for the childs life and these children will thrive to the best of their ability.
If parents with special needs children have a strong enough desire to help their child, a way will always be found and many door will open before them and they will be guided and inspired in their actions and they will consequently expect to succeed. With the expectation to succeed, they will find a way to achieve it.
My name is Orla. I am a mentor to parents who have children with special needs. I teach them tools and processes that help them with the physical, emotional and psychological challenges they face. Together we learn how it is possible to achieve a harmonious balance in their lives. For more resources go to http://www.parenting4specialneeds.com
Having a child with special needs is truly life changing. We all cope with these changes differently. As a parent with a child who has special needs I am here to support you in learning what works best for you, your child and your family.