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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: What Is Wrong with Me? - by Submitted on May 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What is wrong with me? Angry, sad, blah? It's 5 am and I'm still awake. I'm 29, single (I don't mind), I go to school, an ok job, pets. I'm not starving, as long at there's a roof over my head i'm good to go. So many things I really want to do. I get into it then I don't ...
Views: 45(1 vote) - Creating Family Acceptance - by Submitted on May 20, 2012 from Tina TessinaLately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. If your choice of ...
Views: 50 - Dr. Romance Video: On Having a New Baby When You Have Stepchildren - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view the video, go here: http://youtu.be/OlC24alx1Gs.) You and your new spouse are over the moon about having a baby, but the children from your previous marriage are acting strange and upset or distant. What's wrong, and how do you fix it? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed ...
Views: 52 - Creating Connections: Draw Them In - by Submitted on May 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaMany years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it "Outwitted" by Edwin Markham He drew a circle that shut me out — Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in! As Markham says, we could see people ...
Views: 73(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Really Wish I Could Go Back in Time and Fix This - by Submitted on May 07, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I have read some of your articles and am very impressed. I am about to write about something that will probably be one of the most bizarre cases you have ever heard. About 12 years ago, I felt a strong attraction towards a girl who was in my high school. We both were in ...
Views: 85(2 votes) - Coping with Critics - by Submitted on May 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaNo one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It’s always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I’m a writer of books and columns, and because I’ve lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I’m glad I’m not more recognizable, for along with the lovely ...
Views: 68 - The Courage to Hope - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2012 from Tina TessinaWe’ve heard a lot about hope recently, but one thing was not said. Hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment and feelings of failure. With the overwhelming focus on success in our culture, the threat of failure and disappointment is blown out of proportion. In my ...
Views: 75 - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: The Magic of Reassurance - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do , and calms both of you down, which allows your ...
Views: 78 - Comforting the Little Orphan Girl - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaWhen life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. ...
Views: 79 - Dear Dr. Romance: He Spends More Time with His Friends Than Me - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My boyfriend spends more time with his friends than me by a long shot. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now and he all of a sudden started spending way more time with them than me. I've tried talking to him about it and he said "i need two days per week ...
Views: 94 - Dr. Romance Video: How to be Civil to an Ex-Husband - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2012 from Tina Tessina[View the video here: http://youtu.be/1DM_RHzOBEk] The divorce was ugly, he was a jerk, but you still need to have contact with him because of your kids or finances. You hate to have to deal with him, but you have to. What can you do to make it better for yourself and your kids? Tina B. ...
Views: 98 - The Colors of You - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaAs life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues—our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and accomplishments. As you mature, you can focus on ...
Views: 87 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Lonely and Hate It! - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Almost all of my friends have boyfriends, (we're 22, turning 23) and I don't. I never have. I feel really alone during the week because all my friends are with their boyfriends. I basically work, take classes, and that's it. I either need a boyfriend or more friends, because ...
Views: 147 - Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaI have before about emotional hygiene and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude ...
Views: 103 - Dear Dr. Romance: Do I Surprise Her with a Gift? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I know I feel strongly about a certain someone. Do I surprise her with a gift or e-mail her with my recent feelings through a tough time? Dear Reader: It sounds like you're way ahead of yourself and her. I think a gift would be completely out of line at this point. ...
Views: 104 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Deal with Partying Roommates - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: [My roommates] are loud, they're drunk, they keep me up or wake me up at night. What can I do? Dr. Romance Responds: The best way to have a good roommate situation is to talk about your arrangements in advance, including writing them down so they're clear. It's important ...
Views: 113 - Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDespite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a PhD, and developing ...
Views: 253 - Dear Dr. Romance: I Need Something to Break the Ice! - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What to say in this situation? Okay, so there's this girl in my art class that I really want to talk to and get to know! Problem is she sits at a different table than me and I just plain don't know what to say to her! I'm a senior and she's a sophomore! What should I say to ...
Views: 170 - Dear Dr Romance: I Need a Good Self-Help Book - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the Internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different ...
Views: 135(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Had to Pay for Everything - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr Romance: I recently met a divorced Russian woman with her teenage old son while on vacation, we spent a lot of time together. I enjoyed their company very much. We keep seeing each other and I recently spent 4 days at her lavish home in the United States. I was really suprised to see ...
Views: 138 - Dr. Romance Video: Resolving Mother & Sister Fights - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To see the accompanying video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVCxndtpt0s) Often, the same quirks, reactions and behaviors that create problems between you and the female members of your famiy wouldn't be a problem if they was someone else's family. If your best friend's mom or ...
Views: 125(1 vote) - Asking for What You Want - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don't know how to ask for what they want, or don't think it's OK. Not asking for what you want means you'll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought I'd give some hints about how to ask ...
Views: 178 - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Does He Want a Relationship? - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I met this guy through a phone call, but he contacted or got my profile through a friend of mine and he is satisfied through that, and he is convinced that he could have a relationship with me, he needs my affection, fear of God, caring, true feeling of sharing, happiness, ...
Views: 197 - Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing ...
Views: 145 - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Make My Family Understand I Love Him? - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Ok so I am 19 and am kinda falling for a guy who is 20 years old than me. I am not asking your opinion on if it's wrong and nor do I want to hear "that's disgusting" my mother and father were 23 years apart in age. I like older guys cause I can relate to them better than ...
Views: 118 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Deal with an Annoying Boyfriend - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaGuys, especially younger ones, are well known for having 'courting behavior' and then relaxing into their old, slobby selves once you're committed. It's not that men are from Mars, women from Venus - it's more like all of us have grown up on different planets. Couples can get caught up in ...
Views: 139 - Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaAnger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force. Anger ...
Views: 165(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Do I Tell Him I Can't Be His Friend or Let Silence Speak for Itself? - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in need of some serious advice, and I hope you can help. I've been in an extremely long distance relationship with someone for the past year and a half off and on. I live in the US, he lives in Central America. I am 6 years older than he is. I'm studying to be a nurse ...
Views: 98(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is It Possible to Love Someone without Ever Dating Them? - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Is it possible to love someone without ever dating them? If so, how can you tell that you are in love? Dear Reader: Yes, it's possible to fall in love without dating. For example, if you have a close friend, classmate, work associate, neighbor or friend of a friend ...
Views: 288(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Creating a Blended Family When You Have a New Wife - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2012 from Tina Tessina(View my YouTube video on this topic here: http://youtu.be/hB-SuKLvJlk.) Dr. Romance's 4 tips to smoother step-parenting: 1. Give your blended family a chance to bond. Don’t worry if everyone doesn’t settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each other ...
Views: 213 - Dr. Romance's Happiness Tip: Alone on Valentine's Day? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaValentine's Day gets a lot of media attention, and it can be hard to avoid. When you don't have a special someone to spend it with, or worse yet, you've just lost a relationship, it can be brutal. If you're alone, it's important to take good care of yourself. Gather your best friends around you ...
Views: 263(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Date My Girlfriend's Best Friend? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I need relationship advice!!!? I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and her best friend who's a girl is also my best friend and I'm very close with the best friend. Me and my girlfriend do fight a lot but there are times where I'm in love with her. And me and the ...
Views: 261(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Single? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr.Romance: My friends were joking that I have never been single, and I argued that I have - but they said my definition of being single was wrong! true, I tend to have long term relationships, but before I met my last boyfriend I was "single" for nearly a year. I define this as not ...
Views: 125 - Dr. Romance: Don't Call Your Ex! - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaWant to know how to handle being dumped? It's less about communication than you think! DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts. But count your lucky stars. You don't have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already ...
Views: 385 - Dr. Romance on How Not to be Shy at a Party - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIntroverts can enjoy the parties, too, if they respect who they are and don’t let negative fantasies take over. Limit your social engagements to those that are manageable or meaningful to you, and allow plenty of time for being by yourself or with a single friend, if that's what makes you ...
Views: 89 - Dear Dr. Romance: She Slapped My Face and Departed - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I recently moved here from the British Isles. I discovered your Dr. Romance blog and thought you might have some good insight on an experience I had involving an American woman's image of her body. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ...
Views: 323 - Dr. Romance: When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and ...
Views: 200 - Dr. Romance: Resolve to Make Your Love Life Sparkle! - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes all of you a happy, healthy and loving 2012! We all are inspired to make resolutions in the new year, to celebrate new beginnings. Rather than resolving to exercise or diet, try: Dr. Romance's Top 5 Resolutions to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great Resolve ...
Views: 270 - Dear Dr. Romance: He wants me to wait on him - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio today and I think that this is my last hope. My dad told me to listen to you this afternoon, since I have been having problems with my marriage. I am in my late twenties and I have 3 children under four years old. My husband is two years older. We ...
Views: 251 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm sick of waiting and feeling I'm not good enough - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I am a young adult male who has always had some sort of complication in relationships. I need help on deciding what I should do from the point at where I'm at now. The situation is that I have been talking to this girl. She first started talking to me but I didn't really ...
Views: 200(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: He is selfish and controlling - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio and I thought of writing to you. This is about my daughter. She has been married for a couple of years. They are both professionals. Since you listen to many cases and have a vast experience on divorce cases, I would like to ask you based on the ...
Views: 126 - Dear Dr. Romance: Can you help me save my relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am having trouble in my relationship. My biggest problems are fibbing and patience. Fibbing is what my fiancee calls it, I call it extending the truth a little further than it really is. But, Patience is the thing I've really having trouble with and that I need your help ...
Views: 135 - Dear Dr. Romance: I want my wife to be my lover - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I wanted to get someone else's take on what is going on in my marriage right now. My problem is that right now my wife and I do not have sex all that often, we average about once every month and half to two months. I have tried talking to my wife about this subject before ...
Views: 365 - Dear Dr. Romance: My husband's one-night-stand is pregnant - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read an article of yours on Divorce360 about affairs the end with a pregnancy. My husband had a one night stand three weeks ago. He told me about it. We've been going to counseling for several months and were doing great. We just found out she's pregnant. I love my ...
Views: 342 - Dr. Romance on The Importance of Humor - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: We are such an inventive species. We are also a species with a sense of humor. I think the two are connected. It takes a sense of humor to be able to stumble around in an unfamiliar situation until you figure it out. Current research has indicated that humor, ...
Views: 165 - Dear Dr. Romance: I actually forwarded him the conversation by accident - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a woman in my thirties. It's been over a month since I last spoke with my ex-boyfriend of one year. He gave me the silent treatment because I hurt him. Or it might be his way of breaking up with me. I lied to my girlfriend about him and he found out. I actually ...
Views: 300 - Dear Dr. Romance: Even after several years, I still feel stigmatized - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I enjoy reading your "Happiness Tips Newsletter" I actually want to ask you some questions. I know you are a psychotherapist, So i thought you might to explain the difference between the mental health unit of an hospital and a psych ward? Why would one feel ashamed to have ...
Views: 244 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am not sure what the dating customs of this country are - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your monthly "Happiness Tips" newsletter and thank you your advice. However, I noticed that you try to help resolve or forestall relationship problems. My problem is still meeting a man that I like. When I go out and see a guy I am attracted to, I do look towards that ...
Views: 175 - Dear Dr. Romance: How should I tell her I have feelings for her - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in my first year of high school, but I have no experience in relationships. I'm in contact with a friend who is a year younger than me, and I recently realized I have feelings for her. She's funny and playful, and I just can't help myself. What's your advice on how I ...
Views: 254 - Dr. Romance: Peace Begins at Home - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There is so much unrest in the world today: we are still in two wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence still dominates the news. We still need to heed the old bumper sticker: TEACH PEACE. The more current one on my car says “Peace is ...
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