Are you blocking relationships too?
Somewhere early in life I decided I did not live in a safe world because the people in it could hurt me. And the closer someone got to me, the more likely they could (and would) inflict pain on me.
I saw only one solution to this problem. I just can't ... Views: 1660
What we commonly refer to as 'chronic guilt' could more accurately be described as 'habituated guilt' or 'patterns of guilt'. Because 'chronic' almost implies illness or disease; something we have no control over.
When it comes to guilt, nothing could be further from the truth.
No one is ... Views: 3272
Those who suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder, or S.A.D., feel they must hide from other people: "I can't let other people see me."
While the intensity of those feelings varies widely, those who suffer from social anxiety disorder share one common underlying premise: "There's something wrong ... Views: 1620
Guilt exists as a fabricated emotion. It holds little or no realness. It's hard to call it a real emotion.
You see, a real emotion is one that has both a positive and a negative side.
Love, fear, hate, anger, sadness, happiness and so many other emotions all have both a positive and a ... Views: 1609
How can we change? How can we make this new year better than the last?
Let me offer one suggestion: Learn what responsibility really means.
See, if you're like I used to be, you may believe responsibility equals pain, punishment, shame, blame, martyr, burdens, duty, obligation and ... Views: 603
I learned this morning one more time - how important it is to pay attention to my thoughts and feelings.
It happened as I was looking at the barriers I've put up to 'receiving'.
I was curious to know why I don't receive more love, more success, etc. I knew I must be blocking so much of ... Views: 763
I never kept a single New Year's resolution.
Until I learned the secret I'm about to tell you. And now, I don't even *think* about whether or not I'll be keeping any new resolutions I make. I know it's completely up to me. And 'will power' has nothing to do with it.
Will power is overrated ... Views: 912
Are you feeling real emotion? Or is it just a fabrication? Here's how to find out...
Just because you're feeling something, that doesn't automatically mean it's a 'real' emotion. Because so much of what we feel is a 'mental construct' of our own making.
In other words, it's a fabrication; ... Views: 3798
Oh, you think men won't commit?
I know for a fact that millions of men can't wait for that 'special day' to arrive. They'll think about it constantly. Talk about it with their friends. Dream about it at work. And the week leading up to that special day - they can't wait for it to ... Views: 4140
Once upon a time I was frantically racing down a side street, when suddenly the light up ahead turned red. Screeching to a halt, I yelled out: "I CAN'T WIN!!"
Lot of emotion behind those few little words. But they pretty much summed up my life at the time.
"Glad nobody heard that," I ... Views: 821
Your shadow is real. I'm not talking about the dark image that forms on the ground behind you when you face the morning sun. No, I'm talking about a part of your consciousness.
Your shadow is born when you are born. It's job is to collect and save all the thoughts and feelings you deny. ... Views: 1307
The obvious - but often unspoken - premise of most emotional healing lies with finding a way to rid yourself of those so-called bad emotions. Any way you can.
Because some feelings are good, and others are bad. Even little kids knows that.
We develop a hierarchy of good and bad emotions: ... Views: 1368
Here's how I used to feel:
Something's not right. I'm miserable too much of the time. I barely know happiness. I feel 'down'. My heart aches. When will I feel better?
I didn't start out this way. Although it often seems like it. I can vaguely remember moments of childhood glee. Life ... Views: 468
If you're a happy loving person then it's easy to tell someone else - "Just be happy. Just love yourself. Go ahead. Do it!"
But if you're really hurting, or depressed - if you're at the 'low end' of the emotional scale - it's probably just going to increase the hurt or the anger or the ... Views: 603
35 years ago, at the tender age of 15, I happened upon a book called "Think And Grow Rich".
I don't remember if it actually mentioned the Law of Attraction by name, but it certainly covered the topic well: All I had to do was focus - with intention, and purpose, and will - focus my thoughts on ... Views: 1095
I'll never forget the time I finally learned to ride my little red Western Flyer bicycle without the training wheels. I really didn't want to take them off, but my dad felt I was ready.
So off they came. Wouldn't you know it? He was right. And it felt wonderful! I was free - free as the ... Views: 432
If you want more courage, one way is to cultivate your soul.
Your soul. Many people seem to have lost theirs. Others don't even believe they have one. Most people don't have a clue about their soul; as indicated by the sorry state of affairs society functions out of.
I've even heard people ... Views: 448
It's true. I hear voices in my head. I don't talk about it much. But maybe it's a good time to start. You see, I'm a complex person. A lot goes on inside my head that no one else ever realizes.
The main voice I hear comes from my ego. My ego takes information from the world - from my ... Views: 19440
Maybe I shouldn't call it 'finding' courage because courage doesn't lie around waiting to be found. You don't reach down and pick it up from the side of the road - or anywhere else, for that matter. No one is born with courage, so you can't really reclaim it either.
Unlike love and ... Views: 824
Power often stands as a mystery - a misunderstood phenomenon. We often think power means 'power over' - which really amounts to manipulation or intimidation or coercion or outright brute force.
True power has nothing to do with anything outside yourself. It comes from within. How it's ... Views: 918
It can be a cold cruel world out there. You don't have to look far to see it. That's why so many people sleep through life. Asleep in their pity, their judgments, and all the other anesthetics currently on the market. Sleeping because it's too painful to wake up.
It can be hard to find ... Views: 4900
If you want to learn how to stop obsessive thoughts, the first step involves understanding exactly what's happening to you right now. It's like you're spinning on a hamster wheel. Like a treadmill that just runs in circles without ever getting anywhere.
Why? Because you lack TRACTION. You ... Views: 15118
One of the biggest problems we all experience with our emotions involves getting 'stuck' in them. Meaning, we keep feeling the same exact feelings, over and over; day after day.
If you seem stuck in your feelings - it's almost guaranteed to be painful. Or at least unpleasant. Sadly, we end up ... Views: 2231
Sometimes you feel like you REALLY got to change something. Maybe it's an annoying habit. Maybe it's more serious. Maybe it's losing weight, or stopping smoking. Whatever it is, you just get fed up with the situation. You're motivated to change.
SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE!
Maybe it's occurred ... Views: 529
There's a lot more to the magic of love than we could ever cover in one short article, but here's a good place to start.
See, we're so used to hoarding our love - locking it up; hiding it; keeping it safe - that we often end up hiding it even from ourselves. So often, we don't allow ourselves ... Views: 586
I had a good crying spell yesterday.
Actually, I felt pretty okay about it. Because it showed me where my boundaries of pain were, and it showed me I was going into those boundaries. As a way to expand myself.
In other words, the crying spell was a signal, or a manifestation, of the process ... Views: 5870
Is the whole notion of reality creation valid?
I recently heard a some-what famous and successful person on the internet mention that the whole idea of The Secret was nonsense. He also went on to say that positive thinking was nonsense. And he topped it all off by saying that if it worked - ... Views: 487
In a way, fear is a lot like fire. Fire is essential for life, but it can also rage out of control and even kill you. The goal is not to eliminate fire. You can't. But you can turn it into an ally. You can set the boundaries and the rules and make fire work for you.
Just as you can make ... Views: 854
Anxiety is a mystery. So misunderstood. So frightening. So unwanted. Nobody knows why it comes. And nobody knows why it doesn't leave. Nobody knows... or so it seems.
You can read tons of information about anxiety, and still not have a clue about its true nature.
Anxiety is a ... Views: 522
You often hear the phrases - anxiety attack and panic attack - used interchangeably. Which would be okay, if the goal is to NOT understand anxiety and panic.
Just bundle them up together. Keep them a mystery. Keep them 'out there' somewhere. Nebulous and undefined.
In other words, if ... Views: 436
It's true. I was coping with anxiety for many years. I don't even remember when it started. But I do remember when it ended.
I was in an abusive relationship with my anxiety. I was being abused. Every day. It wasn't pretty.
But I coped. Meaning, I 'handled' it. I struggled through. ... Views: 640
Anger is a funny thing. Controlling it is not...
We tend to want to cover it up, the way we cover up certain body parts.
"Don't let your anger show."
Many people are afraid of anger - theirs and others. Some people use their anger as a weapon; or at least a tool of negotiation. A lot of ... Views: 805
When any event happens - when ANYthing happens in your personal reality, it brings up thoughts and feelings. A certain amount of thought; a certain amount of feeling. Together, those thoughts and feelings possess a certain amount of VOLUME.
Someone makes an insulting statement to you... ... Views: 443
"This life is a test. It is only a test. If this had been a real life, you would have received further instructions on what to do and how to do it."
Ever heard those words? When you first read them, it's almost a relief. "Whew! It's just a test."
But when you look deeper, you ask: "Well ... Views: 1348
It seems almost a cliche'.
"Avoid negative people. Eliminate them from your life! They'll only bring you down. One bad apple..."
On the surface, it seems like good advice. We all want to feel good. Happy. Successful.
How can you feel good if you're around someone who's miserable? ... Views: 2306
The energy behind fear is very real. Not something to play around with. Or take lightly.
It reminds me of the time - years ago - when I was visiting some friends on the North Shore of Hawaii. They were born surfers. Who moved from Florida to enjoy the awesome waves.
Right before we got ... Views: 567
You know the best thing I got going for myself?
Deep down inside, where it really counts, I love and accept myself. I'm at peace with who I am. Not totally. But enough. I am my own best friend.
Who's your best friend?
For some, it's the Marlboro Man. Or Mr. Jim Beam. Or the U.S. Sugar ... Views: 492
Everybody wants fulfillment. Filled by what, we don't know. We just know hollowness and emptiness hurt. We want to be filled.
And so we go looking out in the world. Looking for the person or the thing that will satisfy that unending longing we feel inside.
We can spend our whole lifetime ... Views: 478
Think back to the last time someone made you angry. Maybe it was earlier today, or yesterday. Or a few days back. It probably wasn't that long ago.
What did they say? What did they do? Remember the circumstances? Get the image in mind. Now, think back to what you DID about the ... Views: 521
Ever felt unworthy?
Many people do. There's no substitute for self-worth. Self-esteem is a different story. Many substitutes exist for esteem. Interestingly, most people seem to confuse self-esteem with self-worth.
Your esteem must be earned.
Your worth is given.
All humans are worthy. ... Views: 1539
It's scary to really truly understand you have an ego - a living breathing part of you with its own thoughts and feelings quite separate from yours. And you're both living in the same body.
It's like being locked in a dark closet with a total stranger.
Imagine the feeling. All your life you ... Views: 654
Remember seeing a photo of the earth taken from outer space?
A beautiful blue sphere painted with swirls of white. Pretty incredible, huh? Now imagine the blanket of atmosphere that completely covers our earth like a glove. We're cradled in this fabric that protects us and keeps us ... Views: 633
While self pity ranks as one of the most effective tools of a child in coping with the rigors of life, as a grown-up self pity becomes the glue that holds our problems together.
It lulls us to sleep as it gently persuades us that we really aren't responsible for our life and the problems in it. ... Views: 518
Every human being has the right to be happy. Every person is born with that right. We can be - and are - as happy as we will allow.
And yet when we look around us, we see so many people who claim no happiness at all. Or if they do, it seems so fleeting; so elusive. Being happy and content ... Views: 452
For many, blame has become an art form. Ever see a comedian take a prop - some ordinary item like a pencil - and make up jokes about it? That's the way many approach blame. Just throw 'em a topic - anything - and they'll find someone to blame for it.
We all do it from time to time. But for ... Views: 586
When something happens in your life, it tends to bring up a certain amount of feeling. Someone cuts you off in traffic, and it brings up anger or perhaps fear. That anger and that fear have a certain amount of volume to it.
Or perhaps you're grieving for the loss of a loved one. You have a ... Views: 571
Feeling better involves taking a series of steps. But a common problem I've had - and I've seen in many others - is they just want the success (whatever it is) without having to take the steps to get there. I call it the 'visualize winning the lottery' syndrome.
"I don't want to succeed - I ... Views: 590
Are you happy with yourself just the way you are? Do you accept yourself with all your shortcomings? Most people don't. For several reasons.
For instance, society holds certain standards that by their very nature are almost impossible to live up to. You're supposed to strive for the perfect ... Views: 814