Watch out for Energy Vampires!

By Cheryl Wilms

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Yes...energy vampires. They seem to be everywhere sucking the energy right out of people. I have a few individuals that I am in constant contact with that I would consider to be energy vampires. I find that at times I allow their negative energy to impact me without even realizing that I am doing it. After that, I also find that I become apart of the problem and not the solution because I too get caught up in the negativity. This is not the person that I want to be or become.

We are human, so we are entitled to have days when we are a bit off balance and just in a terrible mood. It is human nature. It is the chronic negativity that is toxic. James Arthur Ray said it perfectly....AVOID ALL THAT WEAKENS YOU. You will be doing yourself a huge disservice if you continue to allow it into your life.

There are more than one type of Energy Vampires:

The Paranoid Type: They are trying to win a war that doesn't exist. Very little trust in people where everyone is the enemy and life is their battleground. They constantly pick fights and to lose is, to them, admitting they are bad.
The Ethereal Type: These individuals prefer to have minimal contact with others. They have weak boundaries and avoid spirituality. They are mainly withdrawn from others and aggressive.

The Insecure Type: Often feels like others around them are draining them and in turn suck the energy from others to make up for it. They involve you in long boring conversations and speak softly to the point that you have to strain to hear them. They are often compulsive and have addictive tendencies. Their requirements for attention will never be satisfied. They come across as helpless and expect you to take care of their every need.

The Passive-Aggressive Type: They desire freedom, but their fear prevents them from progressing. The continuously involve others in their life. They make demands of others but resists contributing at the same time. Only live in the now and never make plans for the future. They internally create a reality of unclear, unrealistic fantasies and ideas. They imprison themselves and project loneliness, desperation and resentment to those they are in contact with. They will continuously ask for you opinion but they will reject it every time. Classic response: "yes, but....".

The Robot Type: This person fears that there is something missing and life is moving on without them. They are perfectionists and project a perfect life, in fact, others envy their lifestyle. Appropriateness and being "politically correct" are more important to them than being genuine.

How are we affected? Being around them we feel agitated, irritated, overwhelmed, exhausted, annoyed, nervous, depressed, and lack of focus.

Strategies for dealing with these energy vampires:

Reduce the amount of people who drain you in your life and surround yourself with positive and uplifting people.

Set clear boundaries with a positive approach. Do not attack, just simply state and stick by it. Be honest about your needs.

Meditate. It will allow you to keep you focused when encountered with a draining person.

Walk away. Avoid the area they are in if possible. Get out of their energy range.
Learn effective ways to end a conversation with them. (ie. I only have 5 minutes to talk)

Avoid feeling the need to "fix" them or "rescue" them. It's a surefire way to drain you.

Limit eye contact.