Is this the color "the beach you are" reveals? Did you expect your beach to show up as white, tan, or black, and it showed up orange to others? What happened? Our "beach" shows up as who we are as a total being. Our presence is the whole of us... not just what we say. It is what we feel in our hearts at that moment. It includes what thoughts are on our minds... whether from yesterday or in the present or maybe in the future. And it includes how we are holding our bodies... slumped over or standing tall... and so much more! Some researchers have determined that 85% or more of what people perceive about us is nonverbal. So, I wonder if anyone is listening to my words when I speak? Well, in light of this research, not entirely, and never just my words.
Ontological... transformational coaching uses a model that involves this principle. We, as beings, are not... cannot be... only thoughts that become words. We have bodies that contain a brain where language is stored. Language is thought of as generative... creating action... in this model and thus our words always express our emotions. There is an emotion behind every word we think and may speak. It may be a gentle emotion or a strong one, but it moves us to take action of some sort.
Candace Pert, molecular biologist, was the first to discover (1980's) that we have molecules of emotions all over our bodies. She wrote a book by that name in the 1980s describing her research and then was interviewed for a CD set in 2005 called Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind. In that interview she explains how this works. (I recommend the CD set over her original book. Or you can read a summary of Pert and other researcher's work in Chapter 3 of my book: 5 Life Energies, referenced below.)
You may be wondering where our emotions and thoughts come from. Quantum physicists explain that we, as beings, are energy. We are electrical, chemical, and many other kinds of energy. Tai Chi and Chi Gong Masters understand how we can use our energy to move our muscles. We can even physically move another person with an intentional thought that sends our energy directly at the person. (I have witnessed... even felt this directed at me when working with Masters.) The way... the direction... we shift the energy (the Chi, we are) determines our thoughts and emotions. We may shift our energy forward and up by leaning slightly forward and/or even standing and moving in a forward motion and may move quickly. We will at the same time shift to being more focused with our thoughts, feeling more resolution within our emotions ("I know the way, let's go!") I call this Fire Energy. If we shift our energy back and up, actually lean our bodies slightly back while feeling our energy going up, our thoughts and emotions will shift along with the energy we are. We will become more flexible within our body, have more flexible or curious thoughts, and will not attach strongly to any one emotion. I call this Air Energy as it suggests movement and a lack of holding on.
Our presence is then all we are... our body, emotions, and thoughts. Others perceive all that we are when we enter the room. They don't know all of our thoughts even when we speak; however, they "feel" them through the energy we send to each other as we connect. Our words suggest our emotions, as does our body position. Our body position influences our emotions and thus our words. Our emotions influence our words and shift our body disposition. The three fit together... can not be separated... a beautiful thing.
What if you do not feel you are perceived as "orange" (or whatever you would like for people to know about the "real you")? It is a choice... shift your energy by shifting your body position which then shifts (allows) different emotions which influences your word choice. If you desire to be "felt" as a flexible person, than shift into the flexible body disposition and you will find yourself using flexible words that project flexible emotions. If being "orange on your beach" serves you and those around you... stay orange. In the times it doesn't serve, shift and the presence others feel from you will also shift.
Next time I will share thoughts on: What happens with the other person when you shift your presence? Uhmmm...
"What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Carol Harris-Fike, ACC, NCOC
CHF Coaching and Consulting, LLC
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Carol Harris-Fike is an ICF credentialed coach serving individuals and organizations across the United States. Harris-Fike completed ontological coaching courses with Newfield Network and earned her NCC and NCOC (Newfield Certified Ontological Coach) certifications from Newfield. Carol’s thirty years’ experience in public education as a teacher, principal, and assistant superintendent enriches her work. Her study and practices with energy, including Reiki, Tai Chi, and Chi Gong support her work. She has degrees from Texas Tech University and the University of Texas at Austin. Areas of expertise include an understanding of the latest scientific research in the connections between the brain/body and how our view of the world affects how we think, feel, and move. She has designed a method for learning to shift the energy that flows within us to shift our moods, emotions, and language. She understands how this view affects the choices we make and the results we receive. Carol’s book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life was published in fall, 2009. JICT Images: Journey with Intuition & Creativity for Transformation, a set of 72 evocative photos with questions for contemplation plus a manual will be published, spring 2010. Carol and three ontological coaching colleagues created this project. She lives in Western Colorado with her husband, Rich. Learn more about Carol on her website: www.YourLifeFromHere.com.
Learn more about my book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life©2009, www.5lifeenergies.com
Learn more about JICT Images: Journey with Intuition & Creativity to Transformation ©2010, www.JICTimages.com