There’s a saying that trust is like a mirror, once it’s broken, you might get hurt trying to put it back, and when you get it back, you can never look at it the same way again. Trust is a very delicate, profound and essential thing to have in a companionship. That’s why when trust is gone, the only way for the relationship to go is down.
When there’s no trust in the relationship, it can be exhausting! Not to mention distracting and disturbing. But who suffers the most when it no longer exist in the relationship? The partner who has trust issues or the one who cannot be trusted? I say, both.
The partner who cannot trust never enjoys peace of mind. This person can never take pleasure of being in a loving relationship, because he or she believes that the other person always has an ulterior motive. He or she is not capable of connecting intimately anymore because he or she thinks that the other person is being unfaithful. The person who has trust issues is a sad, angry, lonely and a confused person. On the other hand, the person who cannot be trusted suffers just as much; especially if he or she agitated the it on the first place. When you have faltered and help developed your partner’s trust issues, then it’s just right that you straight things out, especially if you still care for your partner and you need to save your relationship.
So, here are what to do when trust is gone in the relationship and how to get it back.
* Both of you should have a deeper and unselfish need to save the relationship. This is important, because building it needs a lot of effort and compromises. If either one of you believes that there’s nothing much in the relationship to be salvaged then there’s no hope for it to be repaired.
* If you’re the partner who have been betrayed and having trouble trusting again, the first thing that you need to do is to take a moment. Listen to what your partner has to say, and make the decision to forgive him and yourself, then make realistic conditions on what your partner needs to do to win it again.
* If you are the one who started the trouble, then the biggest burden to prove yourself worthy to be trusted again is yours to carry. The first thing you need to do, is of course, apologize, admit your mistakes and say the magic words, “I am willing to do anything...” Stand by your words. Be transparent whatever it takes.
* Both of you need to compromise. For the perpetrator, when your partner takes out a list of ways to win her or his it back again, be thankful! Appreciate the fact that he or she is willing to tell you what you need to do instead of playing mind games on you. For the victim, again, be sure that your conditions are realistic and doable. If one or two of the things on your list seem impossible for your unworthy partner to do, then compromise.
I know that it’s hard to keep a relationship going when there’s no trust, but at least have faith that someday things will be alright. Never ever lose your faith, because it’s your faith that that will help you pull through this unhardened and unjaded. When you have gotten out of your relationship rut with a kind, forgiving heart, coupled with a deep compassionate wisdom, that’s when you can truly say that you have successfully survived. If things are shaky and your future seems bleak now, be patient, repairing it needs time, for the meantime, let your faith lead you.