Nothing is more distressing than for the person on the other end of the line to think you are a woman – or worse yet, to ask to speak to your mother – and you are a man. Rest assured that you are not alone but that does not make it any easier to bear. Being mistaken for a female over the phone is awkward but there is an answer to your problem.
Why the pitch of your voice is so high is either because:
- 1. you have excessive nasality, which tends to make the voice higher-pitched than it actually is; or,
2. you are imitating a loved one whose pitch is also high.
In the former scenario, eliminating your nasality will be very beneficial because you will be moving your sound away from your nasal passages. The result is a voice that will sound somewhat lower. It may not be quite as low as you would like, but it will be the initial start to lowering your pitch. You should then work on discovering the optimum pitch of your voice which will probably be lower still.
If your pitch is high because you are imitating your mother, for example, you can discover your ‘real’ voice by learning to power your sound by means of your chest cavity. In doing so, you will find your optimum pitch which will sound much more masculine. In fact, it is quite possible that you will find a very deep voice.
One of my clients came to me with a pitch reminiscent of his mother’s voice. When Daniel found his optimum voice, the pitch was so low that the group was stunned! Because he worked as an electrician for Ford, I suggested that he not go back to work with his ‘real’ voice the following Monday, but instead, begin to drop the pitch of his voice progressively.
I was concerned for this young man because I felt he had probably encountered difficulties in the past with his feminine sound. To return to work the following day with his deep, bass voice would have been more problematic. However, the gradual lowering of his pitch throughout the next few weeks worked for him. Today, he sounds mature and definitely all-male!
Your situation may not be as extreme as that of Daniel; but, if you are being mistaken for a woman over the phone, there really is help for you. The pitch of your speaking voice and your manner of speaking is a learned habit. Break the old habits and discover what lies beneath.
If you would like to see some dramatic 'before' & 'after' video clips, start with Craig by visiting Voice Dynamic and go to the center of the page. Then check out The Voice Lady's other video clips in the menu bar.