The divorce rate in the United States has increased tremendously over the past 75 years. Analysts have several theories on the reason behind this. The divorce rate is an alarming 45-percent for a first marriage and over 60-percent for a second marriage.
Based on my personal experience as well as thousands of clients that I have consulted with over the past 20 years, I believe that the changing beliefs and values of women is the reason why. It is interesting to note that women file two-thirds of divorces.
Let us look at the laws and values regarding women over the past one hundred years:
* Brides customarily promised “To Love, Honor and OBEY” their groom until the 1980s
* The Bureau of Labor Statistics state that mothers in the workforce have increased from 30-percent in 1960 to 72-percent in 2010.
* The Population reference Bureau states that the percentage of women in college aged 18-24 has increased from 19-percent in 1967 to 43-percent in 2005
* Less than one-hundred years ago women were given the right to vote in 1919.
* Laws were passed in 1963 making it illegal to discriminate against women in the workplace and that a woman doing the same job as their male counterpart should have equal pay.
* The first “No-Fault” divorce law was passed in California in 1969, allowing couples to divorce by mutual consent. By 1985, all states had adopted similar laws.
* In 1976, Nebraska became the first state enacting a marital rape law.
Looking over the list above, you will see that many laws have been passed to empower women to speak up for themselves as well as stating that they have equal rights. This has enabled women to hone their own unique talents and gifts and to explore paths in life that was once only available to men. These laws have enabled women to believe that they are strong and capable enough to do anything that they set their minds too. Women now know that they are more than capable to support themselves and their children.
Simply put, the number reason for the increase in the divorce rate is that women feel capable of caring for themselves and their children and refuse to be treated like second-class citizens.
These social changes have been mentally challenging for some women. We learn about life and love from watching our parents and others around us. Many of our mothers and grandmothers were brought up in a world where women were expected to be caretakers. Their role was to keep house, cook dinner and rear the children. They were led to believe that a woman’s place is in the home and that the value of a woman lay in her family. These beliefs no longer fit into today’s society, leaving many women feeling as if they have to do everything their mothers did as well as everything they want to do.
Many women may not even realize they have these beliefs or the role they play in their life. The BIG question is how to get rid of these beliefs.
1) Identify your thought patterns
2) Ask yourself if your thoughts are absolutely true
3) Ask yourself whom would you be if you let go of these beliefs
Once a woman begin to let go of the beliefs that she needs to be a perfect homemaker, wife, mother and worker, her stress level reduces , she is able to heal the pains of her past, find inner peace and learn to love herself. This allows her to make empowered choices about her life.
Cindy Holbrook is a certified Divorce Coach and has over 20 years of experience helping women to heal, love and find inner peace after their divorce. Her mission is the empower women to take responsiblity in their life and to create the life of their dreams. Pick up your free ecourse "12 Steps to Reclaim Your Life After Divorce" at CoachingForDivorcedWomen.com. You may also join her Facebook page http://Facebook.com/SupportForDivorcedWomen