The key of dating an emotionally unavailable man who wants to take things slow is to let him set the pace. Expect that he will go hot and cold. Mirror him in everything he does. When he's hot, reciprocate that, this is your time to establish bonding. When he's cold, also keep a distance. Don't try to force yourself unto him asking for attention and affection. He will only withdraw further.
You keep your sanity by keeping your life full and fun. Do not plan around him, go out pursue your own interests. You have to be naturally busy and not always available or you will go berserk in no time.
And remember that you shouldn't invest more than he does to keep the relationship balanced at all time. If he hasn't made it official you are a girlfriend, take advantage of the situation to still accept dates from other guys. It's a recipe for drama and heartache when you assume a role of a girlfriend when he himself clearly hasn't used that word to describe you.
There is no need to also bring the subject "where is this going" or "are we exclusive?" if he has said it once that he wasn't ready for relationship. Just observe his actions. The less you are attached and act eager, the safer he feels and the more he wants to come closer and spend more time with you. Let him untie the knots -the fear and concern of commitment- little by little by himself.
And remember, any pressure should be self-imposed, which means it doesn't come from you but from his own perception of your fabulousness and high-value as a woman. You can be sexually exclusive with him but you can throw a subtle hint every now and then that you are still in the market and you are fine with it, in fact you are enjoying it.
A strong sense of self will help you go through this tremendously and he has no other choice but to see you as indispensable. Remember to lure him with honey and once he's hooked he will fight nail and tooth not to lose you. This is the time for you to walk away if you really have to because chance is he will give you whatever you want rather than losing your fabulous self and company.
You see, patience pays. Playing it cool and self-restraint will make you indispensable. Women like this are rare gems and when guys find them they won't so easily let them go.
Are you itching to know the secret on how to captivate your man's heart? Check this out:
Finally, there is a book written on the very subject. It might be just what you need and the reason why you are reading this is perhaps because you are in dire need of some answers to your struggle.
He's Really That Into You, He's Just Not Ready - The Ultimate Guide to Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men Or Guys Who Want to Take It Slow
This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/katarina.phang for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.
Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum http://gettheloveyoudeserve.info.