Abundance
Your Relationship With
By Jane Straus
Mar 20, 2008

Dear Jane,

I feel like I have a love/hate relationship with money. How can I change this so that I am more financially secure?

---

Most of us struggle, at one time or another, about money. But what is that struggle really about? I read an article in USA Today about couples and their relationship with money. Most of the advice they received had to do with planning ahead, paying down high credit card debts, discussing long-term financial goals, etc. This is all worthy advice; however, our relationship with money runs much deeper, sometimes at an unconscious level. Here are a few questions I ask myself whenever I am in “lack consciousness,” where I worry about not having enough of something, whether it’s enough money, time, resources, help, skill, compassion–whatever I’m focused on lacking at that particular moment.

1. Where is the real feeling of lack coming from? When I judge that I don’t have enough, I must, in some way, be judging myself as not being enough. As a result, I may manifest that judgment in the form of lack of financial resources.

2. What else might I be avoiding by focusing on money concerns? If I’m not living in my deepest truth or fulfilling my purpose and am afraid to address this, perhaps because I feel overwhelmed by the changes I might be required to initiate, I may find it easier to create money problems to focus on. Money can seem so concrete and real.

3. Am I seeking sympathy from others? If I create financial neediness, am I really needing love, compassion, sympathy, attention, or understanding from others? Is my money “problem” a way of indirectly getting my needs met because I am ashamed of this need?

4. Am I giving enough love, compassion, etc. to myself or is that where the lack really stems from?

5. If I’m fighting with my partner about money, what are we really fighting about? Is one of us resentful about something else? Do either of us feel undervalued by the other?

6. If I overspend, why am I filling up with stuff (material goods)? Is it that I don’t trust I can be filled up in any other way? What else do I really need?

I hope this article offers you the opportunity to heal your relationship with money. But more than that, I hope that you allow more abundance of every kind into your heart and your life.