Addiction and Recovery
I Need Chocolate and I Need It Now
By Julie Hryniewicz-Hache
Apr 21, 2008

“I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy, and focus to; whether positive or negative.” Michael Losier (www.LawofAttractionBook.com)


Pulling up to the drive-thru, I ordered four donuts: chocolate glazed, cinnamon bun, honey dip, and a long John. I then proceeded to park and eat every one of them on the spot. This is an example of an addiction!! Remembering back to that moment, I can only imagine what lead me there - probably some self-defeating thinking, negative self-talk, or drama in my head.


I have a ton of other memories too: like eating all of my roommate's specialty shell chocolates at university, while she was gone home for the weekend; eating a whole McCain chocolate cake at one sitting, right out of the freezer with a fork; and making a stop at Dairy Queen for a medium Skor blizzard, with extra Scor, and then stopping at a convenience store for a large bag of chips, peppermint Aero chocolate bar, and a small paper bag of blue whales!!!!


Confessing about my food addiction feels so good and probably makes you want to run to the corner store and get everything with either sugar, salt, or both! Many people may not suffer from the same addiction as me; however, there are many others to choose from: cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, drugs, pills, shopping, casual intimate relations, video games, television, Internet, etc. etc. etc... The list goes on and on and on. I was even addicted to real estate and bought and renovated thirteen houses in ten years!


Our society is riddled with addictions, and I get to deal with many of them in my work with various social services agencies (including policing, child protective services, homeless shelters, young offender facilities, soup kitchens, alcohol and gaming) What I have found to be most helpful, in assisting others with their addictions, is to understand that the addiction itself is always the result of a deeper issue, and is not the root of the problem.


If I was to draw a line down the middle of a blank page and write all of the different types of addictions in the right column, I only need to place one word on the left side of that page as the cause - the word “PAIN”. Unresolved pain, which then spirals into feelings of not feeling good enough or not feeling loved, will create constant turmoil in our lives.


Many people attempt to use willpower to overcome an addiction, without dealing with what lead to the addiction in the first place. Until you acknowledge the root and change up the self-defeating belief, that formed from that root cause, the same addiction or another one in it’s place, will always surface.


Individuals, who I have had the pleasure of assisting in my life, have often suffered with sexual, physical, emotional abuse or neglect, loss of a parent, divided families, poverty, illness, family violence, divorce, cycle of alcohol or drug addictions, parent in jail, foster care, mental health issues, physical or learning disabilities, or a traumatic event. These are clear cut examples of pain.


Others, who may not have seen such obvious devastation, may have felt pain and formed a belief that they are not good enough by words that they have internalized from their parents, siblings, significant others, care givers, teachers, friends, or authority figures in their lives. When someone else is insensitive, harsh, or rude to them, they begin to tell themselves a story that erodes their self-esteem, self-value, and self-worth. The pain from this story, then leads to the addiction.


The cycle will continue and they will continue to attract negative relationships and situations, until they revamp the negative belief that they have bought into.


Now, don’t get me wrong, I still tie some food binges on, every once in while; however, I finally revamped my internal dialogue from saying things to myself like, “Julie, you’re so stupid”, “Julie, look at the mess you have made”, “Julie, what is the matter with you?” to “Julie, you will get through this”, “Julie, the past is behind you and there is no use wasting any energy back there”, “Julie, you are good enough.” I changed my belief that there was something wrong with me, into something that was healthier.


Can we ever change something that has happened in the past, or does it make sense to decide to stop living back there? Did people say things to hurt us on purpose, or were they acting in the only way they knew how, with the resources and skills that they had from their upbringing? Am I really not lovable or good enough, or is it possible that the issue had to do with the chaos of the other person and I just got caught in their dysfunction.


Some of my favorite phrases now are: “Insults are only effective if we believe them”, “This is their issue to own - not mine”; and “I can only change and control myself and trying to change others is a waste of my energy”, “My life is in my hands, from this moment forward”, “I will take full responsibility for my actions”, and finally, “I have the power to decide what my life will look like and what my reactions will be to any adversity”.


Addictions breed from our thinking that we are not in control of our life, that we are a victim, that someone else has the ability to make us miserable, from living in a painful past, and dwelling on things that we have absolutely no ability to change. No matter how hard we try, the past is behind us. The only thing we have the ability to do is press “reset” on our lives and move forward with a new mind set.


My three best tips for dealing with any addictions would include:


1. Realize that as long as you are dwelling on something that has already happened in your life, you are giving your power away. You must find the root, in order to pull it out.


2. Decide to press “reset” today because we get what we focus on - the law of attraction in motion.

3. Put your energy into where you are going and what you want your life to look like - you hold the power to create it. Wasting energy looking backward will only prevent you from feeling joy.


Understand that positive change in any area begins with forming a new belief, which is healthy and productive. Getting out a pen and paper or journal, you might explore: What negative beliefs have you bought into, over your lifetime? What would be a healthier belief instead? If an addiction is holding you back, when would be a good time to take your power back? You hold the key with your thoughts and your thoughts are the key... Have a blessed and amazing life journey!!