Adult Development
Seeing The Invisible Women In Our Communities
By Teri S. Arnold
Feb 13, 2008

You are a 25, 35, or 50 year old woman. From the time you were a small child you have needed help with virtually every aspect of your life. Even today you needed constant assistance from the time you woke up. Diagnosed with mental retardation and because you have a difficult time communicating, you have been labeled as slow and stupid. Most people no clue how smart you really are and choose to pity you and treat you like a child, even though you are a grown woman.

For your entire adult life you longed to have a boyfriend or husband, children, a home of your own, but you know that will never happen. You live in group home where privacy is at a minimum and people are paid to take care of you. You are at their mercy-day in and day out. That is not a comfortable place to be when you have difficulty verbally expressing your needs. Anger and neglect loom around every corner-not in every place like this, but in most. Constantly questioning: Will they take the time to understand me today? Will they be there to help me when I become frustrated and feel alone? Will I be treated with dignity and respect or laughed at and ignored?

Despite all of this heartache and years of being teased, disrespected. and disregarded, you persevere. Fortunately, there is one place where you do feel normal, where you are treated as an equal and where you feel valued for your contributions. That place is at work. The work is not all that complicated, but it gives you a sense of meaning in life. Finally someone needs you for something and it feels good. Putting remote controls into a plastic bag, tying cable lines, sorting booklets and papers- all things most people would find boring, give you joy and are significant to the business you work for. In fact most people would hate this type of work, but it means everything to you. Being with your co-workers, producing a quality product and getting compensated raises your self–esteem, and gives you a sense of pride like nothing else can.

With the paycheck you earn, you buy small but meaningful things: make-up, clothes, a purse, jewelry. You are like every other woman in the world. You want to feel pretty. You want to feel loved. You want to make something out of your life. Without this job, you would sit at home all day doing nothing. With a lack of self-worth, you would dive deeper and deeper into depression. With no motivation or reason to get out of bed in the morning, you simply (and barely) exist.

This is why a job is so vitally important in the lives of people with severe developmental disabilities. For many of them, it is all they have to hang onto. It is their sole source of all that is good in their lives. It is a time to celebrate the contributions of women with mental retardation and other severe disabilities (autism, cerebral palsy, spina bifida). It is a time to speak out and stand up so all people with severe developmental disabilities can have the best quality of life they can achieve. The only way to accomplish that is to give everyone the opportunity to work and give back to their community. I know what you are thinking, but many limitations can be overcome with the right supports and the right environment. Women’s rights apply to all women- not just some. If it was your daughter, your niece, your friend, wouldn’t you fight for her one chance at a normal life? To make a real difference in the lives of women with severe developmental disabilities, visit www.css-online.org.