Dating
Dating After Divorce
By Maia Berens
Dec 20, 2007

Why I admonish folks about dating after divorce: when I left my spouse, I was so hurt and bewildered that I didn’t know who I was or what matrimony was really about. So the first “pleasant” guy who showed an interest in me, flattered me, asked me out – and wanted to tie the knot, pretty much got me. So I had a six month marriage and found out a) I didn’t know much about me – but was well on my way to learning and b) I surely didn’t know what it took to make matrimony work out – and was well on my way to learning.


So when is it correct to launch into dating after divorce? It’s up to you. Here are some inquiries to make of yourself to decide if you are really ready:
1. Can I leave my kids and not feel in the wrong? Are you aware that taking care of yourself keeps your children from feeling in charge of you as they grow up?
2. Have I begun to comprehend what was off beam with my marriage? Are you looking?
3. Am I willing be accountable for my part in the marriage? Are you still seeing it as all his/her responsibility?
4. Do I love myself? Do you need to date so someone else can let you know you are acceptable?
5. Have I learned to take pleasure in my own company? Are you dating so you don't have to be by yourself?
6. Do I have great support while I go on this new journey with my new self? If you have candid support – a friend, a Relationship Coach, a therapist – someone who isn't afraid to tell you what they see is true for you.

You can't make a mistake that you can make if you keep in mind that Life Is a School so don't be scared. It all works out OK.