Emotional Intelligence
How I Deal With Blocks To Living My Life’s Purpose
By Dr. Isabella Santorini
Jun 7, 2008

One of the things that I have found so incomplete in my studies about personal transformation is the lack of addressing obstacles that get in our way as we learn to express our true nature, the genius within.

Everyone goes through transitions in their lives that are challenging. No matter how functional we are, we often have growing pains as we expand our ability to express ourselves authentically.

The problem is that when we’re acquiring a new skill, such as using our unique talents and living our life’s purpose, we’re vulnerable. We’re moving in uncharted territory and we barely know which end is up. Having emotional upheaval just makes things worse.

So let’s delve into these upsets so that we recognize them for what they are when they come up.

As we age, we create for ourselves mechanisms by which we handle things that are upsetting to us. We do this naturally and without thought. For instance, we’d never say, after our heart gets broken for the first time, “I’ll never love again.” But something within us does say that. We become a little bit more distant, a little jaded, and certainly more cautious.

This safety mechanism isn’t bad and it can really help us in certain circumstances. When we’ve faced disappointment in pursuing our dreams, we may develop a certain caution against expecting immediate results. This is a good thing. We learn to have patience. However, we also learn to believe in ourselves just a little bit less, as well.

There’s always a juggling act going on within ourselves to keep us safe from emotional pain.

And yet, what is stronger than the avoidance of pain for us is the drive to express the brilliance within us. So part of us is always trying to express our true selves and the other is always trying to hold us back so that we’re safe.

This makes for an interesting ride, to say the least. When we’re discovering new things and excited by the prospect of expressing ourselves, these two aspects of our emotional construction collide with great force. This often leaves us caught in the middle, feeling at times invincible and at others, scared out of our wits.

Without understanding this phenomenon, we can panic and try to establish emotional equilibrium again at any cost, even the cost of living our dreams.

The best thing to do in this case is to address that part of us that is trying to stay safe. That’s not the easiest thing to do, but learning not to simply react to fear by going back to staying safe is a great start.