This article is printed from http://www.SelfGrowth.com
***Successful Marriage: Until Death Do Us Part
By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, the Official Guides To Love
Jul 31, 2007
Successful Marriage: Until Death Do Us Part
By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
"the marriage doctors"
www.GoldenAnniversaries.com
Authors of the NEW Book
Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage
available at Amazon.com
At the end of every interview we conduct with happily and successfully married couples we ask the most powerful question of our interview protocol – “Can you imagine life without your spouse?” The question always draws tears to the eyes of the couple we are interviewing. We have asked them a question they have repressed. It is a question no loving couple wants to think about. The answer is, however, nearly always the same – “No!”
When we take our marriage vows – “until death do us part” – we never imagine that some day it will all come to an end. But all marriages and relationships do end, of that you can be sure. So, how do we prepare for it?
Our advice is, never dwell on or contemplate the question. It doesn’t matter. What is important is that we love our spouse, that we enjoy our spouse, and that we live our life with them to the fullest. If you think about the inevitable, your relationship will end in a different way. Yes, a different way.
Here is how it works. If you spend your time imagining the end you will never do all of the things required to deal with the beginning and the middle. You will lose the richness and beauty of each moment. You will, in the end, misplace the essence of your relationship with each other. Your relationship will be based on the end instead of the possibilities.
When you cannot imagine life without the one you love, you have reached the “nirvana” of your loving and committed relationship. But to dwell on the inevitable end of your life together diminishes the here and now and spoils all the joy that lies ahead.