Stress Management
Seven Secrets in the Art of - Letting Go of Stuff?
By Darren Johnson
Jul 22, 2000

Bad or unhealthy habits are difficult to change, or let go of - so are unhealthy relationships. Many times we are not sure how to truly let go of certain elements in our lives. We must first realize what letting go really is. In the audio tape program “The Art Of Letting Go Of Stuff? (published by InsideOut Learning 1-800-374-1081), these 7 steps are described to assist one in the process of making positive life changes, or letting go.

The first step towards letting go is - to acknowledge that there are some things that you need to let go. As simple as this may sound, it is a very big step for many to take. This step is critical because acknowledgement leads to acceptance. Letting go is almost synonymous with acceptance. Once you accept there is stuff to let go of, then you can begin moving forward towards the second step which is to realize that change is necessary and that you will go through changes throughout the entire process of letting go of stuff. Although it is one of the most naturally resisted elements in our lives, change is the only constant in our lives and without change we won’t grow.

Thirdly, we must learn to pay attention to the unconscious internal conversations that take place in our heads. Do you talk to yourself? Of course you do. The more important question is - what do you say to yourself? We develop habits in every area of our lives, including how we talk to ourselves. Listen to your habitual internal conversations and make sure they are positive.

The fourth step is to do whatever it takes to have the right attitude while going through the process of letting go. Attitude is more about how you respond to situations, than the situations themselves. Most of us believe that outside situations shape our attitudes when in fact, it is our view of situations that shape our attitudes. This is an age old notion that has been proven true for centuries.

The fifth step is to learn how to focus on what is in your control. 70% of what most people focus their time, energy, and worries on are things that have either already happened or that will never happen. How many times have you gotten upset about something today that you have no control over? How much simpler would your life be if you only focus on what you can control? Think about it!

The sixth step is to consciously choose to let go of the things that you can not control. The “self managing grid™” demonstrates four choices that we unconsciously make every day of our lives. the first choice, overcontrol, is exhibited when you act on something that you have no control over. This is exhibited by constantly feeling guilty, ashamed, angry, frustrated, and/or hurt about something that has either happened in the past or will never happen. Letting go, another choice, occurs when we accept that since we have no control, we choose not to take any action. The third choice is to set positive goals. This occurs when you decide to take healthy, purposeful action on something that you can control. Finally, giving up is another choice to make when we do not take action even when we do have control over something. The healthier choices are to let go and to take positive action on things you can control.

The seventh step is to create a personal plan of action that will help you to develop the art of letting go of stuff in a healthy, proactive, positive, and winning way. This plan of action should include the creation of your personal mission statement, a list of positive words or phrases that you would use to describe yourself, and the creation of “BE statements?. “BE statements" represent the “new?internal conversations that should replace your existing unconscious internal conversations. Create a new picture of yourself - a new you - that will result from implementing your plan of action. Remember, “if you want to grow, you must learn to let go.?