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If you've read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to ... Views: 34
No, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those ... Views: 100
As a child I was taught that anger was a bad emotion but I've have since come to understand that there are no bad feelings. All emotions have purpose and value as they teach us about ourselves based on how we react to external events. We assign value to each depending on how people act them out. ... Views: 72
We are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ... Views: 87
Ever had a problem in life? It feels like you are dancing on fire, doesn’t it?
A problem is a problem – small or big does not matter. A problem results in unpleasantness in life. It comes in way of our joy. For those who have multiple problems; unpleasantness seems to become a way of life. ... Views: 56
We are not afraid to trust the American people with unpleasant facts and competitive values. A nation that's afraid to let its people judge the truth versus falsehood in the open, is a nation that's afraid of its people---John F. Kennedy
A Hillary Clinton movie was blocked from being shown in ... Views: 70
Relationships are the most challenging aspect of life whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply, such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this: more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in part ... Views: 117
According to psychologist Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and ... Views: 98
In the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no ... Views: 145
I've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ... Views: 174
Excerpt from Coaching for Transformation
Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings ... Views: 308
Finding Courage in Surrendering
Please allow me to start this post by saying that I am looking forward to the day that we as individuals can begin to accept, as well as seek to understand, all of what people say to us.
It is quite common that we are quick to align with and apt to indulge ... Views: 176
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views: 216
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views: 124
When disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ... Views: 151
When disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ... Views: 134
Econometrics is the efficient use of the statistics and mathematics tools to determine the relation between the economic factors that define the economy of a country, like the monetary policies, fiscal, bank interest rates, salary scale and capital. It’s a strategic mix of economic theories, ... Views: 175
We could all use a few suggestions for dealing with those difficult coworkers, obnoxious family members, or challenging neighbors that find their way into our lives. Some really know how to push our buttons and bring out the worst in us; others are stubborn or opinionated; still others can be ... Views: 264
Conflict is a normal, healthy, and useful part of life. At its simplest, it means there is a disagreement or difference of opinion between two or more individuals. In life we can identify two types of conflict: internal and external. Internal conflict, the root issue causing discomfort and the ... Views: 243
Anger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter ... Views: 187
Is there a difficult person in your life? ll of us are likely to know someone who "pushes our buttons." The person could be almost anyone -- a spouse, in-law, other relative, friend, coworker, boss--or even (gasp!) our self!
Which reminds me of what Rabbi Joseph Richards said: "People are ... Views: 339
If you've been following the presidential debates, you are well aware of the bullying behaviors of some of our candidates. Gone are the days when politicians debated national and global issues. Shockingly, but not surprisingly, the debates have mutated into verbal warfare against each opponent. ... Views: 177
For many women, their female friendships have been a source of comfort, support, laughter, and joy.
For others, they have been mired in betrayal, mean-spiritedness, and competition.
But for most of us, they’ve been a combination of these two extremes, and typically, even before we reach ... Views: 190
Check out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ... Views: 272
Check out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ... Views: 195
Conflict is a natural and even healthy aspect of life. It enables us to see another perspective of an issue, to creatively discuss and seek solutions to our differences, to learn to be open-minded and flexible, to practice the fine art of compromise or in some instances to graciously concede to ... Views: 369
are some tips our
psychics provided in adopting more
Adopt a Pet.
. Scientific tests have proven that stroking an animal’s fur can decrease
someone’s blood strain, nevertheless it turns out that acquiring a canine, cat
or other animal companion ... Views: 245
We're all familiar with the phrase "Silence is golden". This proverb dates as far back as ancient Egypt, making reference to the importance of keeping quiet under certain circumstances. The first example of it being used in English is credited to the poet Thomas Carlyle in 1831. Certainly there ... Views: 287
Think earnestly, even if our life’s PTSD experience has taught us to be mean.
To continue to mistreat others this way, we only allow misery to glean.
By persisting to act out old behavior, we deprive ourselves, too.
Instead of moving forward, we endorse what has made us blue!
We react to ... Views: 211
I've never met anyone who didn't have to face adversity at some point in their lifetime. Whether in our personal relationships, professional lives, in regards to a health issue, academically or financially, hardships seem to be a standard component of life.
Of late, many people have adopted ... Views: 217
Why is it so difficult for us to get along with one another? After all, we all have the same basic needs in life. We all want to be valued, to be acknowledged for the good that we do, to be treated fairly and given sufficient opportunities in life; we all want to be accepted as we are and to be ... Views: 258
I love creating simple strategies individuals can use to experience less anger or stress in their lives, to improve their communications skills, resolve conflicts easier or create inner peace. From the SWaT Strategy* to TECO Magic*, The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate* or the Seven C's of ... Views: 285
There are thousands of things that trigger our anger: aggressive drivers, rude coworkers, disrespectful children, lying politicians, high taxes, unfairness, and favoritism just to name a few. A critical statement or offensive comment can raise our ire to which we may respond with indignation. ... Views: 295
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ---Mignon McLaughlin
Can you imagine your partner and yourself holding a weekly formal meeting? The idea might intrigue ... Views: 265
Consider the following scenario: you and your neighbor engage in a political discussion. After a few moments, it becomes apparent that the two of you have serious disagreements about the upcoming presidential elections. Being equally as passionate about your positions, the debate quickly becomes ... Views: 346
Something has bothered me for a long time. The use and understanding of the phrase “Real Dad.” A real dad, to me, is someone who raises you, who guides you, and sets an example for a healthy way to live with some morals attached. So many people come from blended families and two of my three ... Views: 374
I sent out an email about my upcoming show, The Illusion of Anger, and was met with an angry response. "Anger is NOT an illusion! People die from anger!" he wrote. I am well aware of that. However, that is not the illusion I'm speaking of. According to Webster's dictionary, anger is a feeling ... Views: 289
We all have the opportunity to be mediators at various times in our lives. Two family members are arguing and cannot come to a resolution about the issue in dispute. We intervene and lend a helping hand. Perhaps an objective third part can offer some insights or suggestions that have alluded ... Views: 273
Cyber-bullying is the deliberate and systematic harassing or defaming of an individual through derogatory postings and comments on the Internet.
In some cases the material posted can be disguised as professional opinion, as the opinion of a group of people or as coming from an organization ... Views: 202
We all argue. Well, for sure we all disagree. Arguing is an option. We can peacefully debate opposite sides of a topic and without having it escalate to anger, shouting, name-calling, and hurt feelings. Yet oftentimes it does. When people do not feel as though they are being heard or understood ... Views: 304
I read an interesting few lines in an article by William E. Krill, Jr. L.P.C. The article is entitled, The Child Victim of a Narcissistic Personality Disordered Parent. Although he is writing about the experience of children and the non NPD parent, he also writes about counselors working with ... Views: 260
Communication is difficult for most of us. It is one of the most necessary interpersonal skills we need yet few have ever been formally trained in. For most, it's a learn-as-you-go process. What makes effective communicating so challenging is that we all converse on different levels and employ ... Views: 308
Loot at the following statements given by some of the parents for their own children:
I am not happy with my kids when they do not conform to my standards of life. I want them to become a gentleman like keeping values that I possess. I want them to choose the paths of life I ... Views: 251
Minnesota is a land of abundant natural beauty, sparkling blue lakes, vibrant night life and easy going people. It offers you every opportunity to follow your passion. That’s why you see many families add Minnesota to their vacation list. Choosing a destination is not the only major decision ... Views: 302
Always Remain True to Yourself
We each have subtle senses; intuitions, gut feelings, little voices inside our heads that guide our judgment.
We do not need to elicit our intuition every time we have a decision to make. Many of our decisions are determined by conscious thought, prior ... Views: 351
Adult NPD Survivors Further Assaulted By Ignoramuses
When people hear that I have chosen to have no contact with my highly toxic, aged mother and father they always tell me how sorry they feel for my parents. I can only assume that in me they see a happy, well-adjusted adult woman and must ... Views: 319
It seems as though one cannot make it through an entire day without drama popping up somewhere. Whether at work, in the news, or within our own homes, we are constantly surrounded with chaos and crisis. While some seem to thrive on it, others avoid it like the plague. Not all drama is harmful. ... Views: 254
I have learned that in order to redirect your thoughts, you have to consciously and subconsciously want the same thing. If your conscious mind and subconscious mind are thinking alike, you are able to achieve any goal. In other words, if subconsciously you do not really believe you will complete ... Views: 247
Effectively communicating with others can present enough challenges without the added issue of one who twists and distorts your words. Below is a transcript of a recent conversation I had with someone (who refers to himself as a member of the black race) on facebook. He posted the controversial ... Views: 366
Have you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ... Views: 280