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I've been teaching anger management and conflict resolution for nearly a quarter of a century. What makes me so successful in my work is that I do not lecture on any subject matter that I haven't personally experienced and mastered. In that regard, people find me authentic and know that if I've ... Views: 3
Have you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ... Views: 55
We all seek to be powerful. I'm not speaking necessarily about having authority over others but we certainly want to have control over our own lives. Yet even the most well-intentioned, enlightened person wants to control a particular situation or individual at times. Certainly, parents impose ... Views: 69
Recently a 43 year old man and father of seven, Keith Lamont Scott, was killed by police in Charlotte, NC. As is often the case, there are conflicting reports as to what actually happened. Currently, an investigation by a separate state agency is taking place to determine if this shooting was ... Views: 66
We all have challenging people in our lives yet unfortunately few of us have been properly trained in how to effectively deal with them. Well, that's going to change today. In no particular order, using the an acronym "C~U~R~B Appeal", you will learn tips that will better enable you to get ... Views: 84
If you get hung up on the quantum of time, you may lose sight of the quality of your relationship now and for the future.
At the end of the day some separated parents fight tooth and nail over how the children’s time will be divvied up between them. Children are even drawn into the dispute, ... Views: 126
You finally recognize that your adversarial battle isn’t resolving your dispute. You’re draining your resources both financially and emotionally. You don’t believe your former partner would ever negotiate a truce, let alone a settlement. Mediation is discussed and one person says they’ll go but ... Views: 131
Your behavior, how you conduct yourself at the negotiating table can work for you or against you.
Remember, this is a negotiating table, not a court of law or arbitrator’s office. In negotiating, there is little to prove and all to negotiate.
Negotiation is about how to move forward, not ... Views: 109
Mediation is not a single event, not a one-time meeting where magically issues are resolved.
No. Mediation is a process that occurs with very predictable steps. Understanding these steps to the process can help you manage through the process. Separated parents entering mediation may meet ... Views: 117
Do you have a partner, a colleague, a friend, a loved one where everything is a challenge and every conversation becomes a competition; where if they don’t get their way, there is hell to pay; where they are relentless in their pursuit; where somehow or other they are always right; where if they ... Views: 145
Over the years, I’ve discovered there are few among us who embrace transitions. I’m not one of them.
Just ask my husband.
For perhaps the first ten years of our lives together, when we vacationed overseas (before the aid of the Internet to illustrate the sort of place we were headed to), ... Views: 103
Frustrating one's nearest and dearest has the dual "advantage" of simultaneously satisfying the narcissist's masochistic and sadistic urges. By withholding love, sex, intimacy, and the fulfillment of other people's desires and needs, the narcissist torments them even as he obstructs his own ... Views: 256
I think the majority of people would agree that it's unhealthy to live in the past. After all, we're all familiar with the new age philosophy, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present". Living in the past holds us back from being able to ... Views: 106
If you've read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to ... Views: 149
No, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those ... Views: 178
As a child I was taught that anger was a bad emotion but I've have since come to understand that there are no bad feelings. All emotions have purpose and value as they teach us about ourselves based on how we react to external events. We assign value to each depending on how people act them out. ... Views: 117
We are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ... Views: 149
Ever had a problem in life? It feels like you are dancing on fire, doesn’t it?
A problem is a problem – small or big does not matter. A problem results in unpleasantness in life. It comes in way of our joy. For those who have multiple problems; unpleasantness seems to become a way of life. ... Views: 100
We are not afraid to trust the American people with unpleasant facts and competitive values. A nation that's afraid to let its people judge the truth versus falsehood in the open, is a nation that's afraid of its people---John F. Kennedy
A Hillary Clinton movie was blocked from being shown in ... Views: 123
Relationships are the most challenging aspect of life whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply, such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this: more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in part ... Views: 169
According to psychologist Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and ... Views: 143
In the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no ... Views: 202
I've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ... Views: 231
Excerpt from Coaching for Transformation
Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings ... Views: 498
Finding Courage in Surrendering
Please allow me to start this post by saying that I am looking forward to the day that we as individuals can begin to accept, as well as seek to understand, all of what people say to us.
It is quite common that we are quick to align with and apt to indulge ... Views: 238
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views: 291
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views: 161
When disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ... Views: 207
When disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ... Views: 182
Econometrics is the efficient use of the statistics and mathematics tools to determine the relation between the economic factors that define the economy of a country, like the monetary policies, fiscal, bank interest rates, salary scale and capital. It’s a strategic mix of economic theories, ... Views: 225
We could all use a few suggestions for dealing with those difficult coworkers, obnoxious family members, or challenging neighbors that find their way into our lives. Some really know how to push our buttons and bring out the worst in us; others are stubborn or opinionated; still others can be ... Views: 317
Conflict is a normal, healthy, and useful part of life. At its simplest, it means there is a disagreement or difference of opinion between two or more individuals. In life we can identify two types of conflict: internal and external. Internal conflict, the root issue causing discomfort and the ... Views: 291
Anger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter ... Views: 227
Is there a difficult person in your life? ll of us are likely to know someone who "pushes our buttons." The person could be almost anyone -- a spouse, in-law, other relative, friend, coworker, boss--or even (gasp!) our self!
Which reminds me of what Rabbi Joseph Richards said: "People are ... Views: 398
If you've been following the presidential debates, you are well aware of the bullying behaviors of some of our candidates. Gone are the days when politicians debated national and global issues. Shockingly, but not surprisingly, the debates have mutated into verbal warfare against each opponent. ... Views: 216
For many women, their female friendships have been a source of comfort, support, laughter, and joy.
For others, they have been mired in betrayal, mean-spiritedness, and competition.
But for most of us, they’ve been a combination of these two extremes, and typically, even before we reach ... Views: 231
Check out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ... Views: 311
Check out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ... Views: 240
Conflict is a natural and even healthy aspect of life. It enables us to see another perspective of an issue, to creatively discuss and seek solutions to our differences, to learn to be open-minded and flexible, to practice the fine art of compromise or in some instances to graciously concede to ... Views: 427
are some tips our
psychics provided in adopting more
Adopt a Pet.
. Scientific tests have proven that stroking an animal’s fur can decrease
someone’s blood strain, nevertheless it turns out that acquiring a canine, cat
or other animal companion ... Views: 288
We're all familiar with the phrase "Silence is golden". This proverb dates as far back as ancient Egypt, making reference to the importance of keeping quiet under certain circumstances. The first example of it being used in English is credited to the poet Thomas Carlyle in 1831. Certainly there ... Views: 342
Think earnestly, even if our life’s PTSD experience has taught us to be mean.
To continue to mistreat others this way, we only allow misery to glean.
By persisting to act out old behavior, we deprive ourselves, too.
Instead of moving forward, we endorse what has made us blue!
We react to ... Views: 260
I've never met anyone who didn't have to face adversity at some point in their lifetime. Whether in our personal relationships, professional lives, in regards to a health issue, academically or financially, hardships seem to be a standard component of life.
Of late, many people have adopted ... Views: 250
Why is it so difficult for us to get along with one another? After all, we all have the same basic needs in life. We all want to be valued, to be acknowledged for the good that we do, to be treated fairly and given sufficient opportunities in life; we all want to be accepted as we are and to be ... Views: 300
I love creating simple strategies individuals can use to experience less anger or stress in their lives, to improve their communications skills, resolve conflicts easier or create inner peace. From the SWaT Strategy* to TECO Magic*, The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate* or the Seven C's of ... Views: 318
There are thousands of things that trigger our anger: aggressive drivers, rude coworkers, disrespectful children, lying politicians, high taxes, unfairness, and favoritism just to name a few. A critical statement or offensive comment can raise our ire to which we may respond with indignation. ... Views: 330
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ---Mignon McLaughlin
Can you imagine your partner and yourself holding a weekly formal meeting? The idea might intrigue ... Views: 293
Consider the following scenario: you and your neighbor engage in a political discussion. After a few moments, it becomes apparent that the two of you have serious disagreements about the upcoming presidential elections. Being equally as passionate about your positions, the debate quickly becomes ... Views: 424
Something has bothered me for a long time. The use and understanding of the phrase “Real Dad.” A real dad, to me, is someone who raises you, who guides you, and sets an example for a healthy way to live with some morals attached. So many people come from blended families and two of my three ... Views: 409
I sent out an email about my upcoming show, The Illusion of Anger, and was met with an angry response. "Anger is NOT an illusion! People die from anger!" he wrote. I am well aware of that. However, that is not the illusion I'm speaking of. According to Webster's dictionary, anger is a feeling ... Views: 330