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I want to share here an exciting and powerful consequence of having done this work in groups over the years which clears negative energy from the collective human bio-field.
Often each individual in the group brings with them an issue that is blocking them from feeling truly in charge of ... Views: 12
It is all too common to blame one's partner when a relationship is going through rocky times. Have you ever stopped however and reflected on whether you yourself are carrying some form of internal negative programming that is also contributing to the problem?
When a relationship fails it has ... Views: 19
Do you know that if your relationship is on the verge of collapse that it is so because of deeply buried emotional forces that you may not even be consciously aware of? Do you know this means that your relationship life has been hijacked away from you without you even realizing it? Do you know ... Views: 16
The trouble with arguments is that they don't work.
I'm not talking about a good debate, where you have some great ideas, and they clash, and you start a healthy back-and-forth that feels fun. I mean arguments – where tension starts to rise, responses start to get personal, and you go around ... Views: 19
Do you know that many people who are afraid of rejection, intimacy, and abandonment often tend to fall into self sabotaging behaviors such as manipulation, avoidance, overeating, jealousy, drug and alcohol use, having affairs and so on in order to try and "protect" themselves from being ... Views: 19
Everybody gets angry, even me. Professionally, I've been helping people understand and reduce their anger for twenty years. And in all honesty, I do practice what I preach. I experience far less anger and frustration than I did when I was younger, perhaps some of which is due to age. People ... Views: 21
Addictive relationships are characterized by an inability to let go of a partner who is abusive because doing so leads to strong feelings of need and/or insecurity that cannot be tolerated. There are three important things one must do in order to free themselves from an addictive ... Views: 44
In a recent article entitled "Some Evidence On How We Are Spiritually Connected" a case study was presented that revealed how individuals who share common traumatic memories can help each other release the trauma at a distance. In this article I will elaborate some of the potential applications ... Views: 53
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 44
Do you find yourself saying or doing things that habitually undermine your chances of relationship success? In other words are you repeatedly sabotaging your relationship? Do you know why? Do you want to stop? Here's your chance.
In many cases when self sabotaging behaviors seem to erupt in ... Views: 89
Few people I know like to the process of resolving disagreements. In fact, when they hear "conflict" they automatically equate it with fighting. Yet one is not comparable to the other. Conflict is simply two forces in opposition. Fighting is defined with such words as "violent, battle, combat, ... Views: 69
Is it a necessary part of a healthy relationship for couples to fight with each other? Well it's so common that many of you might have concluded that every good relationship should have this as an element. What if I said that fighting actually stems from a rather unhealthy root that few ever ... Views: 78
I've been blessed in my life. I've had eighteen dogs, all of whom were sweet and loving. I've never had an aggressive dog with the exception of one - Huggy Bear. Huggy was a black Great Dane that came to us when he was just a pup. Big floppy ears, giant paws, and a single white spot on his chest ... Views: 93
Do you ever worry that wanting to do something that feels right to you will disappoint someone else? Even worse does this worry then block you from doing what you really wanted and cause you to capitulate only to protect the other and your integrity as a caring and compassionate person?
If ... Views: 102
Do you know that all relationship conflict arises because old emotional "buttons" are re-triggered which sets off an "emotional storm" rooted in earlier negative relationship experiences of abuse, humiliation, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, etc. stored as negative memories in the subconscious ... Views: 124
I don’t want or need to change my behavior. This is probably the most common reason for not changing how anger is expressed. No change is likely until the abuser ‘puts down the binoculars and picks up a mirror.’ Often shame is at the core of men and women who are ... Views: 176
Anger Management skills can be helpful for people ranging from the mildly miffed to the violently vengeful. You do not need to be in a physically violent relationship to benefit from understanding and learning about communicating angry and hurt feelings constructively. Secondly, if you are ... Views: 129
Do you know that if your relationship is on the verge of collapse that it is so because of deeply buried emotional forces that you may not even be consciously aware of? Do you know this means that your relationship life has been hijacked away from you without you even realizing it?
Do you ... Views: 111
Do you know that your relationship conflicts are determined not by external inter-relational factors but by deeply buried internal "emotional landmines" that control you and cause you to be "out of control" whenever something happens in your relationship that triggers them and leaves you ... Views: 178
Do you know that self hate and/or self loathing are unnatural human states that come about only as a result of old emotional baggage stored in the subconscious mind that hijacks your freewill and turns you against life itself? Do you know that baggage exists there in the form of negative painful ... Views: 116
Do you know that all relationship conflict arises because old emotional "buttons" are re-triggered which sets off an "emotional storm" rooted in earlier negative relationship experiences of abuse, humiliation, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, etc. stored as negative memories in the subconscious ... Views: 170
There are many "heroic" tales about individuals, who after having been victimized, turned to revenge to right the wrong. In our society such acts are revered and the individuals who undertake them are considered heroes. I would like to suggest however that an individual who needs to get revenge ... Views: 148
Do you know that all relationship conflicts arise because of unconsciously held co-dependent patterns held by each partner? Do you know such patterns are rooted in early negative relationship experiences stored in the subconscious mind as negative memories or rejection, abuse, abandonment, ... Views: 120
Do you know that all needy behaviors have an underlying cause that can immediately and easily be discerned, unearthed and deleted from your life? Do you know that such behaviors are based in old negative memories from your past that are stored in your subconscious mind and which serve as ... Views: 112
Do you know that many people feel continually attracted by toxic relationships that are destructive emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically? Do you know this attraction is actually another form of addiction, much like that to food, cigarettes and drugs?
Do you know the force that ... Views: 128
One of my clients complained that her boyfriend had an annoying habit of constantly chewing gum. It drove her crazy! "Aside from that, he's perfect." she exclaimed. "But how do I get him to stop? He knows it bugs me yet he continues to do it. He says he's not doing anything wrong and then ... Views: 157
Have you ever been abandoned in a relationship? If so and you are still carrying the memories of the abandonment then your relationship life is at risk of repeating this same event again and again. Why and what can be done about it?
The memory of the abandonment gets stored within you along ... Views: 176
I enjoy a good robust debate. I find it can be very stimulating and present an opportunity for me to learn something new. In every facet of life, we encounter individuals with whom we have disagreements. Recently, a woman in her forties came into my office seeking suggestions as to how she could ... Views: 178
"The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath." (The Buddha).
A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, "Every time you're angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you've learned to control your anger, start removing them." Six months later, the boy had removed every nail ... Views: 227
Road rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most ... Views: 170
Difficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others ... Views: 244
To Appease or not to Appease
Is placating the answer?
By Merna Throne, M.S.
I thought this was a good topic to finally write about as I know so many people go through this mental dilemma, but they endure in silence and their relationships suffer ... Views: 130
My life has had so many twists and turns some good and some bad but I am now at an age that I need to look at every aspect to see what is good for me and what I can change if it isn't helping me. I have found that my mind is very cluttered with things that are not really needed. I am a worrier ... Views: 168
Conflict and fighting are not synonymous. Although they very often go hand-in-hand, disagreements need not end up as arguments, fights, or physical altercations. A conflict is simply two forces in opposition: a husband and wife disagree on where to spend their vacation; you support the ... Views: 255
Since the beginning of time, wars have been fought in an effort to bring about peace. Have we accomplished that yet? Maybe violence isn't the answer.
I am a peace lover. Not only do I promote peaceful coexistence but I also live peacefully with others. I do not argue or fight; I do not ... Views: 149
It is normally to hear people talk about the things they wish to start going. We hear it so much it becomes dull to our ears. We learn to ignore those statements. It makes no logical sense for us to encourage a person speaking of the things they ought to be doing. We already know by the ... Views: 249
At some stage in almost all situations involving two or more people, there will be either explicit or covert conflict. How the participants or leader deals with this conflict has enormous importance for the future functioning of that relationship or group and its ability to function. Below are ... Views: 67
Does this sound familiar: “Would you mind if I give you a little feedback?” Or, “Can I be honest with you?” (Here comes the criticism!). You know what’s coming and your body reacts immediately. Maybe you catch yourself holding your breath for a moment, your heart picks up a beat, or your ... Views: 265
If you hate conflict, you could spend a long time stewing in your anger before you express it to the person who caused it. By then, your anger may have built to levels beyond reason. Or maybe you zipped off an e-mail, comforted by the fact that technology helped you avoid a face-to-face ... Views: 144
(Excerpt from BUILT TOUGH? )
I often meet people who refer to themselves as tough. My perception, at times, is quite the opposite: I see them as mean-spirited. What exactly does it mean to be tough?
Ford Motor Company manufactures several size trucks. Their tag line is "Ford trucks, built ... Views: 302
Perceptions are based only on what our senses tell us. They aren't always accurate and most certainly can fool us. Independent of reality, perceptions are powerful, for they determine how we experience life. The placebo effect is a great example which demonstrates this amazing truth.
From the ... Views: 167
At a young very young age our minds are fed with notions like "take pride in the work you do" or "be proud of yourself", but do we value the consequences of holding this lens on the world? I remember hearing voices from teachers and coaches telling me to "hold your head up to the world and take ... Views: 293
What do you do when you are SO angry you want to rip someone’s head off? You actually think you COULD drown your kids or bash someone with your shopping trolley and you are not sure how to control it. In those moments, if another hippy tells you “you need to relax” or recommends that you try ... Views: 390
Conflict: two forces in opposition. Resolution: the process of finding a mutually satisfying solution. There's nothing threatening here yet for many they'd rather have a root canal rather than try to resolve a dispute. They either seek a quick departure or prepare themselves for an ugly battle. ... Views: 331
People often tell me, "My problem is that I'm just too nice! That's why I get hurt a lot." But what they perceive as a case of terminal politeness, I see as an issue of passive behavior. Don't misunderstand: most of these people truly are nice. But those who are yes people, who don' t disagree ... Views: 288
Dear Dr. Romance:
What causes one to constantly sabotage oneself? Why would someone constantly put up their own roadblocks?
Being out of touch with one's own wants and needs is a primary way to self-sabotage. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your ... Views: 218
“To All Divorcing Parents
Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault. No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of ... Views: 291
Most of us put a lot of emphasis on our relationships: family, friends and significant others. But, did you know that the relationship you have with everyone else is based on your relationship with you? That’s right, the closer you get to other people, the more you treat them the way you treat ... Views: 225
Sixteen years ago, I moved to a quiet dead-end street. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that I lived near a teenage heavy metal band! As day turned to evening, my silent haven was interrupted by the sound of innocent drums and guitars being tortured!
I was angry. I phoned the police ... Views: 453
"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ... Views: 300