10 Keys to a successful marriage
Dana Vince, LMHC
1. Best friends: you should be able to rely on one another, trust and be honest with one another and treat each other with mutual respect and dignity. Be each other's confidant and safe place to come home to.
2. Equality: regardless of how much money each partner makes, regardless of jobs or roles, each partner is equally valued in the relationship and each partner has an equal voice in decision making.
3. Communication: always listening to one another with empathy and compassion. Conflict is normal in a relationship, but should be dealt with in a respectful way while being open to hearing each other's point of view. Share feelings with love, respect and kindness.
4. Self-love and acceptance: it is easier to accept another's faults when you are able to accept your own. Accepting and loving yourself as an individual is of great importance in a relationship.
5. Support and encouragement: always be your partner's cheerleader. Work together in supporting one another.
6. Play: it is important to always laugh and have fun together. Never stop "dating" one another. Nurture intimacy and passion for one another.
7. Committment: love isn't always just a feeling, it is a choice. A choice to love this person even when you might not "feel" like it.
8. Compromise: always working toward a win-win solution. Compromise happens when you are able to get out of being "right", by empathizing with each other's position on the issue and negotiating disagreements.
9. Love and acceptance: a relationship grows when both partners feel safe. Feeling safe comes from knowing that you are accepted for who you are in this relationship and that you do not enter the relationship with the hopes of changing one another.
10. Interdependence: a balance between separateness and togetherness. Spend time together nurturing your relationship while also spending time developing yourself as an individual. Support your partner in doing the same.
And remember: stay away from the deadly habits of criticizing, nagging, complaining, threatening, and punishing.