Choosing to heal for relationship
In 1974 I was a freshman at CU in Boulder. I felt I had kept it together pretty well, all things considered. Well, I was fooling myself, because I wasnât studying and my relationships were not going well. I remember the day I walked in to Wardenburg and talked with a counselor. Beforehand I felt reactive, on âauto-pilotâ, resentful, withdrawn. Walking out of there I felt more free to be myself, more trusting of people, and eager to get on with being myself and relating. Admitting I fall apart may have been the hardest thing Iâve done in my life. Iâm so grateful counseling allowed me the safe relationship to let it all go. Counseling taught me how I could put myself back together, that people are resilient, and able to bounce back.
I found a calling or maybe it found me
I canât really say I enjoyed everything about the whole counseling process, but I can say it saved my life. I learned that the quality of relationships I have WHILE I AM ALIVE are very important to me. My abilities to trust a girlfriend dramatically improved. I discovered that overly leaning on a girlfriend, or withdrawing out of fear, were normal hurdles, and my relationships could get beyond these survival habits. I felt empowered to optimize my time with people, and this has carried over in to my life as a counselor.
Therapy gave me tools to grow
My curiosity about relationship growth led me to study for my counseling degree at CU from 89-92. I also became certified as an Integrative Body Psychotherapist in 1995, which trained me in healthy relationship boundaries, simple breathing techniques for self-soothing, and moving beyond family habits. In the mid-90's I also became a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Colorado. Enhancing emotional intimacy became an interesting process that I could pass on to clients. One CAN make their relationship work out for the better!
From riding a single bicycle to riding a tandem
Riding bicycles is a favorite solo activity. Now that I am married, we enjoy riding a tandem in addition to single bikes. We work together on the tandem, and communicate effectively, naming shifts, bumps, turns, for a healthy marriage. We try to respect each others autonomous needs, while remembering our bond when we need to talk with each other with differences, whether on a bicycle or not. Marriage and emotional intimacy has brought to me vast experience with a blended family, step-daughters, and now a step-granddaughter!
Now is my time to give back and help
Now I see counseling as a gift for helping others see what really matters: making the best of our committed relationship, optimizing intimacy and adult sexuality!