Karen Buscemi is the author of I Do, Part 2: How to Survive Divorce, Co-Parent Your Kids, and Blend Your Families Without Losing Your Mind (NorlightsPress 2011) - which published Valentine's Day 2011 - and Split in Two: Keeping it Together When Your Parents Live Apart (Zest Books, 2009), a self-help book for teens shuffling between houses.
She is also a regular contributor on divorce and co-parenting to the Huffington Post.
She has been a freelance writer for 13 years, with articles appearing in Self, Womenâ s Health, Figure, and Successful Living.
Karen lives in Rochester Hills, Michigan with her husband and two sonsâwith her ex and his family just a short car ride away.
We see so many horrible depictions of divorce on TV every day. Whether itâs real on the evening news, or fictional on every soap opera and prime-time drama, weâre conditioned to assume that divorce equals disaster. A never-ending disaster. Because what media outlet revels in showcasing a good divorce? Whereâs the fun in that? An amicable relationship after divorce may create boring television â but that doesnât mean it doesnât exist.
Having divorced my husband when our son was three, Iâve spent the last eight years learning how to do the post-divorce danceâsuccessfullyâeven renewing my once clos friendship with my now ex-mother-in-law. How did we do it? Mainly, by not trying to ruin each otherâs lives during the divorce proceedings, giving each other time to get used to the new arrangement, reinserting humor into the relationship, and doing our best to help and respect each other. Was that all? Heck no! If it were that easy, thousands of therapists would be out of business. However, that was the foundation for what is today a real friendship between my ex and me, my ex and my new husband, and my exâs new wife and me. We may sound like the exception to the rule, but really, we were simply both willing to do the work to make a good life for our son.
While not everyone is going to become best pals with their former partner, the advice and tips in I Do, Part 2, will get divorced parents on track to a more civil relationship that will benefit both sides of the family, and bring the kind of peace that is usually reserved after two or three cabernets. Or perhaps a nice syrah.