
Nancy Richards is the
author of "Heal and Forgive: Forgiveness in the Face of Abuse,"
co-author of "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2," and
author of "Heal and Forgive II: The Journey from Abuse and
Estrangement to Reconciliation."
One minute YouTube Video: Forgiveness and Abuse
One minute YouTube Video: Family Estrangement and Reconciliation
The soul cannot forgive until it
is restored to wholeness and health.
In the absence of love - how can one forgive?
With an abundance of love, starting with one's self,
forgiveness becomes a viable opportunity.
-Nancy Richards
At some point in each abuse survivors healing journey, rests the question of forgiveness.
Are there some abuses too atrocious to forgive? Is it possible or even
healthy to forgive some one who has never asked to be forgiven;
somebody who has never even acknowledged any wrongdoing and someone who
continues to practice the same abusive behaviors?
Any of us who have heard the words, "You have to forgive" knows that
this added burden can actually impede our recovery.
Sometimes it is necessary to set aside the notion of forgiving at least
temporarily. This affords us the opportunity to validate our stories
with sympathetic listeners, express our anger in appropriate ways,
mourn for our losses, and to protect others and ourselves from
re-injury.
Surprisingly, it is often the very process of not forgiving, of
acknowledging the pain, and taking the steps to heal that can free the
abused to forgive.