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#15244 - Aug 31, 2009 07:52 PM
seriously though... help!
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Andrea Basham
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Registered: Aug 31, 2009
Posts: 1
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I need advice or some kind of something… I am currently working full time at a hospital cancer center and am taking classes full time online. As much as a love taking the classes I can’t help but feel there is something better for me to be doing.
My dream ever since I was a little girl is to be a paleontologist but 99% of my family has never supported me in that pursuit; so ever since giving up on that dream I have claimed just about every major you could possibly imagine. As of late I see where I am in my life and have come to the realization that life is too short; I only have one go in this life and I deserve to be happy and do what I want. The problem other than the lack of support is the fact that I have no personal credit to get a school loan to pursue it;if I had the ability to do it alone believe me when I say there would be nothing to stop me! another little tidbit is that all my family members want me to make something of myself but none of them will consider cosigning a loan. Backward right? I need some help; I dont care what form it comes in I just need some direction-opinion.
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#15246 - Aug 31, 2009 11:07 PM
Re: seriously though... help!
[Re: Andrea Basham]
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Kerry
regular
Registered: Nov 13, 2002
Posts: 150
Loc: Hilo, Hawaii (Big Island)
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Hi Andrea,
I’m certain my reply is not what you want to hear but it’s certainly among the thousands of conversations you’ll have to have in support of clarity and satisfaction.
One of the cool and not so cool things about being an orphan is knowing no one will come to my rescue with financial support or even inheritances. The fact that both you and I are brilliant means that there very very few on the planet, if any, who are smart enough to recommend a direction that will work. In other words, the answer is not out here.
My initial thought was that your inability to enroll your family in co-signing for you is both smart of them and a blessing for you.
There’s a communication model, a way of interacting, of relating, in which one causes what another is saying to them. It’s great for a couple because there are virtually no arguments. I/we use the same model in our non profit educational org. If even one board member objects then we all surrender to that person’s natural knowingness. As pertains to you it might work for you to create that you have unconsciously intended for your family to support you in the way they have been, which at first glance looks like non support. In truth it’s amazing support because there’s no one to blame if what you choose doesn’t work. I suspect they have all arrived at that you’ve perfected your con of trying to get someone to support and help you which is the opposite of what you need. If their lack of motivation support for your dream to be a paleontologist has thwarted you then you would not have made it anyway. You'd do well to not repeat that story again.
Re: "I have no personal credit to get a school loan to pursue” This seems to indicate that you have not impressed any of your teachers who are always looking for a bright student to mentor towards college and a profession. You and millions of others started out the same way, small steps at a time, building credit. You appear to have bought into your belief system that loans are out and so they are in fact out of the question for you.
There a very good reason why one should not give a Rolls Royce to a teenager, they simple don’t know its value. Within hours they would drip ice cream onto the door switches. In other words, your attitude reveals that you have yet to work hard/long enough to value support. Instead you’ve spent a lifetime hoping to con someone into helping you. Just the thought of someone's possible help creates dependency. Given the condition of our education system it's obvious that millions of veterans have done very little, other than survive, with their free educations.
If you were my daughter I’d strongly recommend that when it’s time you find someone of equal financial/social status; that is to say, it could be tempting to marry someone who is already successful, thereby rewarding your lack of effective ambition to date. Unfortunately there are many male helpers (enablers) looking for a wimp to control, such relationships are doomed to mediocrity (little or no joy).
I am concerned about your attitude towards your family, perhaps it's time for you to recess yourself from their influence. Their mantra, "You'll never make it" appears to be working.
BTW: You’re right on track and doing great. Everything always works out perfectly.
Kerrith H. (Kerry) King
SelfGrowth Expert
Leadership-Relationship Communication Skills Coach
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#16298 - Oct 6, 2009 04:14 PM
Re: seriously though... help!
[Re: Kerry]
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Freedawn Creations
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Registered: Jun 18, 2009
Posts: 2
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Follow your dream. It is what fills you with passion and drive.
Besides family, what have you done to find financial support? Who have you talked to?
Start looking for grants, scholarships, etc. let people know this is what you are going to go in for and the struggles you are having, talk to the University you want to go to. When you truly know this is what you want and you allow yourself to be open to the possibilities, things will happen. Keep your dream front and center and things will fall into place, when it's the right time. I know that sounds cliche but it's true. The Universe doesn't work on the same time clock we do.
Family can be the toughest to get to understand. Believe in yourself. Remember their not supporting you is their stuff, their limitations. Don't take on their stuff. Try and look at them differently - what must be going on for them that they aren't supporting you. Let them stay in their small, isolated world while you grow and find the life you want.
I think Paleantology is a great choice. Very fascinating.
You will find a way.
Best of luck with it.
Glenna
Edited by Freedawn Creations (Oct 6, 2009 04:18 PM)
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#16436 - Oct 9, 2009 12:23 AM
Re: seriously though... help!
[Re: Freedawn Creations]
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Jennifer David
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Registered: Jun 7, 2009
Posts: 75
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You have got good advice here but the rest is up to you.
How much do you still want your dream, enough to bring it here so I say go for it or it could end up in regret and you do not want that on your tomb stone do you.
Jennifer
http://www.jadavision.com
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#17722 - Oct 29, 2009 10:34 PM
Re: seriously though... help!
[Re: Jennifer David]
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Bernard Schnee
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Registered: May 1, 2008
Posts: 7
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There was a man at the station, waiting for the train to arrive. the train came and the man went to get in but the door of the car in which he wanted to get in was closed, even though the other one was wide opened.
Don't stay before a closed door when the next one is wide opened as you might miss the morning train; never take the evening one, Honey as it can be too late.
Bernard
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#18108 - Nov 5, 2009 10:45 PM
Re: seriously though... help!
[Re: Bernard Schnee]
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Matthew Ferry
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Registered: Jul 31, 2008
Posts: 20
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“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.” -Hebbel
Life is designed perfectly for you. The lessons you need will show up at exactly the right time.
When you get frustrated, it’s a sign that you are growing and that what you want is happening. Keep moving forward.
Good Luck!
_________________________
Discover how you can succeed in your life, visit my website
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