Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 437, January 23-24, 2007
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Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 437, January 23-24, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter
* Issue # 437, Week of January 23-24, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: Meditation--Cure of All Cures: The Magic Potion of the Soul – By
Crystal Dwyer
-- Article: Anger and Gender Expression – By Andrea Brandt, Ph.D.
-- Book Review: The Mind Map Book: How to Use Radiant Thinking to Maximize Your
Brain's Untapped Potential – By Tony Buzan with Barry Buzan
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscrïbe and Unsubscrïbe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers – 253,240 subscribers.
Remöval instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a
car battery. – Erma Bombeck, 1927-1996, American Journalist/Author/Humorist
Talent is only the starting point. – Irving Berlin, 1888-1989, American Composer
and Lyricist
Football is like life -- it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work,
sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority. – Vince Lombardi, 1913-1970,
Hall of Fame American Football Coach
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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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*** Article: Meditation--Cure of All Cures: The Magic Potion of the Soul – By
Crystal Dwyer ***
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When I take on a new client in my practice as a life coach, I usually begin with
a strategy of exploring what this individual's beliefs are about himself and his
life. I then find out what the underlying daily thoughts are that support those
beliefs. I always discover that whatever is showing up in this person's life,
whether good or bad, is supported and perpetuated by these beliefs, the person's
emotional responses, and the resulting actions they take or do not take each day
based on these beliefs.
I have a number of exercises to help clients reveal to themselves some of the
beliefs and values they hold that they may not even be aware of.
I also utilize some wonderful therapies, such as hypnotherapy and Emotional
Freedom Technique, to assist in clearing unproductive or destructive emotional
beliefs and thought patterns from the body and mind.
Even with these wonderful techniques available for me to utilize, I must confess
that the most important, lasting, and transformational support I can give to my
clients is to teach them and encourage them to learn meditation and to practice
it daily. Meditation is a beautiful and peaceful journey to the stillness
within. When you quiet the mind and enter the silence of your own soul through
meditation, you experience a restful vacation from the things that don't
necessarily serve you much of the time.
The constant barrage of worrying, planning, rushing, and fretting that most of
us deal with in heavy doses on a daily basis is the very thing that raises our
stress levels to a point of compromising our immune function and overwhelming us
mentally and emotionally. The societal expectations we have to produce and
perform and to be successful at all things can, at times, take us to the
breaking point physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Being in a state of meditation allows you to transcend the distractions of
thoughts, emotions, and physical pain. Meditation allows you to go beyond into a
state of just being. It is in this state of pure being that you access your
higher self and connect to a universal flow of knowing and intellect. In this
meditative state you begin to experience the infinite possibilities of all that
you are. By setting simple intentions before your meditation, you truly can
begin to activate those possibilities. As you practice meditation more, the
results in your life begin to seem truly miraculous.
It is said that Leonardo da Vinci, William Shakespeare, and Albert Einstein all
practiced a type of meditation. These brilliant people and many others
discovered, through their practice of quieting the mind, the vehicle to the
greatest self and the highest wisdom. This vehicle was not just available to
them; it is available to all of us. Following are five simple steps that will
get you started in your practice of meditation.
1. Choose a quiet space in which you can regularly meditate. It doesn't have to
be an entire room. You can play soft music or light a candle--whatever gets you
in a relaxed mood.
2. Sit comfortably. If you aren't comfortable sitting on the floor with your
legs crossed, sitting in a chair with your feet on the floor is perfectly fine.
Sit with a straight spine, your head even, and your eyes closed.
3. Begin with three deep, cleansing breaths, breathing all the way down to the
base of the spine, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then
begin to breathe normally.
4. Start to let go of all thoughts by focusing on the inflow and outflow of the
breath or by repeating, silently, a simple mantra over and over.
The mantra could be something like "I am healed," "I am whole," or "peace." When
a thought pops into your head, put your attention back on your breath or the
mantra. Make sure you don't focus on the meaning of the mantra because that
becomes a thought.
5. Try to practice your meditation regularly. Twice a day is very
beneficial--once in the morning and once in the late afternoon or evening. One
half hour per session is ideal, but even if you can only work fifteen minutes,
each time, into your day, you will still enjoy wonderful benefits.
Meditation is done in a deeply relaxed state, allowing the entire body, and all
of its functions, a vacation from stress. When you meditate, it is like taking a
cleansing, refreshing plunge into a peaceful, boundless pool of awareness. You
emerge cleansed of chaos and invigorated with a clear, pure perspective. The
benefits of meditation range from better health, happiness, and awareness to
experiencing pure bliss. Let meditation put you in touch with the unlimited
potential that is already within you.
May you have great success in your transformation through meditation.
About the Author:
This article was written by Crystal Dwyer, contributing author to "101 Great
Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Crystal is a highly skilled practitioner
of transformational life coaching and a board-certified hypnotherapist. She has
her own unique program utilizing the powerful tools of hypnotherapy, Emotional
Freedom Technique, and meditation. For more information, visit
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contact her at crystalinphx@cox.net
or (602) 343–1402.
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*** Article: Anger and Gender Expression – By Andrea Brandt, Ph.D. ***
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"Women don't have problems with anger--they just manage it differently,"
stated June Tangney, professor of psychology at George Mason University.
When a woman and a man get angry, it's not necessarily the case that women get
angrier than men or that men get angrier than women.
However, when women and men get angry it reflects a process of gender
socialization; more specifically, it is how men and women have learned to
understand and cope with anger.
In the context of a dictionary, anger is defined as a feeling. In a social
context, anger is defined as a reaction according to specific gender
stereotypes. For the most part, when women are angry they are classified as
irrational and frenzied.
A stereotypical scenario for women is when a woman gets mad and she cries. This
may be interpreted as emotional and irrational. Whereas men's anger is sometimes
recognized as strength and aggressiveness. An example of the stereotype for men
is when a man gets angry and gets into a fistfight. This can be interpreted as
not having fear and being aggressive. Hence, gender is a powerful influence on
the way society understands and interprets anger.
According to a poll conducted for Girls, Inc in 2000, from over 2,000 students
in grades 3 through 12, 63% of both boys and girls believe that girls are under
pressure to please everyone and 56% say girls are expected to speak softly and
not cause trouble.
Generally speaking, for girls, this stereotype warns them to stay away from the
loudness of anger. In order to be a "good" girl then a person has to be soft
spoken and avoid anger. For a boy it is the contrary. He has to be more
aggressive and louder than girls to reinforce his sexuality as a male. Bullying,
attacking, and intimidation are their resources for conflict resolution. Yet
this double standard restricts both boys and girls.
If the sexist stereotypic roles are endorsed then it is gender that dictates
relationships with anger into adulthood. It is no surprise that in expressing
their anger women tend not to be as aggressive as men and tend to talk about
their anger more. For instance, when a woman gets upset with her husband about
leaving his dirty clothes on the floor when he changes, she will talk about how
this is bothering her and how it is not just her responsibility to pick up after
him.
On the other hand, there is a tendency for men to express their anger in the
form of physical aggression, passive aggression, and to impulsively deal with
their anger. When he gets mad, for example, because he feels his wife won't let
him do what he wants in his own home, he may simply walk away mumbling.
From both perspectives in the previous examples, the man and woman's actions to
anger may not necessarily resolve the anger but simply perpetuate it by their
reactions according to the specific gender stereotypes. In other words, neither
the man nor woman see the opposite's point of view as it is but sees the other's
reason for anger according to gender stereotypes. From the husband's
perspective, he may see his wife's action as nagging. From her perspective, she
may see her husband's action as being passive aggressive by ignoring her. But
neither, during their argument, understands the other's perspective and reason
for anger. Both husband and wife react to the other's anger according to the
gender stereotypes. Thus, sexist stereotypic roles are endorsed in this example.
Yet this is not to say that there aren't exceptions to the stereotypes.
In fact, as more women and men take on non-traditional roles, the gender social
stereotypes have been changing. With models of women as Hilary Rodham Clinton or
even on TV, such as the character of Murphy Brown, women are gradually being
disassociated from the traditional social roles of compliancy and seen as taking
charge and being more "aggressive."
For men, society has come to see and accept more men playing the role of the
homemaker, single fathers, or simply sharing more household responsibilities
with their spouse, including being involved in same-sex marriages.
However, there are some individuals that may convey anger utilizing varying
degrees of rage, while other individuals are angry very quietly.
Anger as rage can be both destructive and violent to all the persons involved in
the argument, including innocent by-standers such as children. For example,
children may be riding in the back seat of a car when an argument between their
parents breaks out. Not only do the children witness the harsh words being
passed back and forth between their parents, but they also feel the anger and,
as a result, are affected by it.
Passive anger such as the silent treatment or withholding cooperation can be
more destructive than more aggressive acts such as verbal and physical
(non-violent) outbursts. For instance, when a person gets upset by their
significant other, that person may swallow their anger in order to not hurt a
loved one. Swallowing one's anger can cause problems over time. In turn, the
anger simply gets buried alive. Over the course of time, the pressure of anger
can accumulate and lead to a great eruption of rage and, more commonly, the
individual may also suffer physical consequences. Buried anger can cause ulcers,
heart disease, hypertension, headaches, back pain, depression, guilt, and
fatigue.
Needless to say, our emotional health goes hand in hand with our physical
health.
Nevertheless, "getting angry" is a means by which to express anger and can be
used as a positive force in a person's life. A reaction to anger can also be a
means of coping with it. By getting angry, a person exerts feelings that have
been building inside. For those who hold in anger there is a need to vent their
emotions and a need to find a safe and appropriate way to release them,
regardless of their gender. Some take on painting, while others choose
kickboxing to express their anger. The point is to find a non-violent way to
express the anger so as not to perpetuate the expression of violence, as in
kicking the walls or destroying property, and to have some time to think things
through before saying something that can be more hurtful and harmful to the
relationship in question.
So does one sex get angry more than the other? It is a question that requires a
closer look into social stereotypes that have long been influential in how men
and women interpret, understand, and cope with anger. As social stereotypes
change and social roles revolutionize, so does our social understanding and
interpretations of anger. In short, it is not one gender that gets angry more
than the other. It simply depends on the individual.
About the Author:
Andrea Brandt, Ph.D. -
http://www.theangerzone.com/ - a licensed psychotherapist in Santa
Monica, CA for over thirty years, specializes in relationships, challenges
related to blended families, divorce, abuse, women's issues, and the mind-body
spirit connection.
Dr. Brandt offers a fresh approach to dealing with anger and other feelings.
Through her individual sessions, workshops, and anger management, she helps
people use their anger and deeper emotions to strengthen their relationships and
navigate more successfully through life.
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*** Book Review: The Mind Map Book: How to Use Radiant Thinking to Maximize Your
Brain's Untapped Potential – By Tony Buzan with Barry Buzan ***
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This idea-rich, relentlessly upbeat manual proffers graphic images as an aid to
unlock creative thinking or clarify emotions. Drawing loosely on brain research,
learning theory, and information science, English business consultant/TV
personality Tony Buzan ("Use Both Sides of Your
Brain") and his brother Barry, a professor of international studies, first
outline "radiant thinking," a method designed to enhance one's associative,
nonlinear thought processes. Next they explain how to create "mind
maps"--colorful, structured, drawings, cartoonish or complex--as a tool to
overcome mental blocks, organize ideas, brainstorm, strengthen one's memory and
imagination, and make meetings more productive. Despite its inflated claims and
cluttered presentation, this unusual how-to--replete with exercises, quizzes,
dramatic color photos of patterns in nature, and sample mind maps--will
challenge and stimulate the open-minded. (Copyright 1994 Reed Business
Information,
Inc.)
-------
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