Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 440, February 13-14, 2007
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Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 440, February 13-14, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter
*
Issue # 440, Week of February 13-14, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: Play 20 Questions and Revitalize Your Love Life – By Ellyn Bader &
Peter Pearson
-- Article: A New Way of Looking at Life – by Esther and Jerry Hicks
-- Book Review: The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent - by Esther and Jerry
Hicks
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscrïbe and Unsubscrïbe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers – 253,798 subscribers.
Remöval instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. – Joyce
Brothers, American Psychologist/Columnist/Author
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because
you love her. – Source Unknown
Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. – Napoleon
Hill, 1883-1970, American Speaker/Motivational Writer/Author of "Think and Grow
Rich"
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*** Article: Play 20 Questions and Revitalize Your Love Life – By Ellyn Bader &
Peter Pearson ***
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Do you remember the game "20 Questions"? You could ask 20 questions to elicit
and eliminate and finally discover what animal, vegetable, or mineral the other
person was thinking about. You can use a variation of this game to enrich your
love life and build a stronger bond in your most intimate relationship.
In our work with couples, we like to help them formulate a vision of the kind of
life they would like to create together. A powerful vision involves recalling
and revising the important dreams you had when you first got together and
identifying new hopes as well. Sometimes this means exploring "little buds" that
are unconscious, but waiting to blossom. A vision contains something you really
want and evokes enough passion that you are willing to invest sustained effort
to bring it about. Your vision contains strong desires that are aligned with
your values and supported by a plan.
In order to think creatively about the type of relationship you desire, ask each
other a few of the following 20 questions on a dinner date, or set up a special
time to explore these together. They will help you connect on a deeper level
than the usual topics of careers, kids, vacations, politics, and movies. They
can illuminate areas of joy, passion, and connection. Most couples ask each
other questions like these when they first meet, but as time hurtles by, these
meaningful questions get neglected and then abandoned. They'll be the starting
point for an interesting and stimulating conversation that will create the
foundation for your vision.
Developing Your Partnership Vision
* What things in your life bring you the greatest pleasure?
* What things do you look forward to each day?
* What excites you about the future?
* In what settings are you the happiest and most comfortable?
* On your drive to work, what consumes your mind the majority of the time?
* In a regular day, what do you find yourself thinking about the most in
addition to work?
* If you could change one or two things in your life, what would they be, and
why?
* What accomplishments do you value most in your life so far?
* If you had three wishes that would come true, what would they be?
* When you reach the rocking chair stage of your life, what do you wish you had
done that you didn't do?
* Is there a belief or attitude that seems to interfere with creating or
pursuing a big dream?
* What activities do you most like to do by yourself?
* What are a couple things that you appreciate about our relationship, and why
do these things seem significant?
* How strong is your desire to do something together?
* Describe a memory of a time when you felt like we collaborated well.
* What kinds of projects or activities would you consider doing together?
* What projects or activities do you think we do well together?
* What talents or strengths do you believe we each bring to a future project?
* What question would you ask that we have not included?
* Bonus Question: What would be the next step you suggest we take from here?
Here are some guidelines to help you get the most out of these conversations.
Treat your partner's answers with respect. Please don't argue or negatively
judge any of your partner's responses. Be like a compassionate reporter who is
exploring an unknown subject. Ask your partner to do the same for you. Approach
it like the game of 20 Questions. You will be delicately ferreting out the
overlap in all the answers to arrive at what is most meaningful to each of you.
Don't simply race through the questions. This process takes time and dedication,
yet returning to these questions will pay huge dividends in your life together.
The More Detail Your Vision Has, the More Compelling It Will Be
Sarah and Jim used this exercise repetitively over time. From the beginning,
Sarah answered what excites her about the future by saying "leaving a legacy."
Jim responded to the question of what kinds of projects or activities he would
consider doing together by saying that he'd like to work on something together
for the well-being of their children. As they asked each other these questions
again and again, their responses evolved. Their answers would incubate and
stimulate additional ideas. One session would prove to be a springboard for the
next. Sarah and Jim eventually decided they wanted to do something for their
children, which also met Sarah's desire to leave a legacy.
Their answers kept returning to doing something that reflected their interest in
teaching and also strengthening the family. They both believed the old saying
that if you really want to learn something, then you should teach it. They
decided to begin with teaching a Sunday school class together. After sitting
through some tedious Sunday school classes when they were children, they decided
they would make it enjoyable for themselves and the kids. They became
increasingly passionate about creating a very different learning experience for
kids in Sunday school.
Alert! Alert! In the beginning stage, do not discuss potential obstacles. The
best way to kill a budding dream is to ask, "Well, how is that going to happen?"
or "Are you really serious about wanting that?" Asking these questions will
surely strangle emerging desires before you see the bigger picture.
Rather, Sarah and Jim jumped in and discovered they enjoyed teaching together.
Through trial and error they learned a lot about collaborating and how to better
negotiate when they had sharp differences of opinion. However, they also
discovered they did not like the bureaucracy telling them what to teach. Over
time they kept returning to their vision questions. Eventually, they started a
small, interfaith Sunday school with other families who had a similar vision.
The project was more work than they had anticipated. Much more. But the work
they had put into building a collaborative vision and learning to negotiate
sustained them through the tougher times.
You will know you have accurately described your vision when...
* the results are hard to achieve; success will require "stretching."
* you are excited when you think about it.
* the results of the vision are meaningful to you.
* the results make a difference in your life and your partner's life.
* the results are visible, can be written down, and, at least to some degree,
can be measured.
* the results will reflect your strengths and core values.
Your vision will evolve as you move toward it. You will meet obstacles along the
way. Ask yourself an important question: "What will I have to do that I don't
want to do to realize this vision?" Every worthwhile vision carries with it some
undesirable tasks. Don't let these make you believe your vision is wrong. Accept
that your vision will involve some challenges that you won't enjoy.
Realizing your vision as a couple will require new skills in problem solving,
negotiation, and decision making. They're not always intuitive. And remember:
you can't create a flourishing relationship just by fixing what is wrong. You
achieve your vision by building on the best in each of you.
About the Authors:
This article was written by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, contributing
authors to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Peter and Ellyn are
founders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. As
therapists, workshop leaders, authors, and speakers, they are dedicated to
helping couples fulfill their dreams. Visit
http://www.couplesinstitute.com
for free articles to help you develop the best possible relationship skills.
Their article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in "101 Great
Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." This powerful compilation book -- with
John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and
countless other experts -- contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to
improve your life.
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*** Article: A New Way of Looking at Life – by Esther and Jerry Hicks ***
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Excerpt from The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent.
For complete details, visit
http://www.SelfGrowth.com/hicksbook.html
Contrary to what many of our physical friends believe, life on planet earth is
at its all time best…. And getting better! This powerful and accurate statement
is not only based on our observation of the intricate details of life on earth,
but also on our knowledge of the powerful laws of the universe and our
understanding that all things are eternally expanding and improving.
People often complain about modern life, stating that it lacks something that
they remember enjoying in earlier times, and they long to return to those eras
or conditions. But we never look to the past for better times, for we understand
that what is happening now and what is coming next will always contain the best
that life has to offer.
People often misunderstand their role in this magnificent process of eternal
expansion, humbly seeing themselves as insignificant in the larger scheme of
things. Some believe that God, or some higher power, has created all things,
including them, and that now they are here on planet earth working to achieve a
more Godly state, or to achieve Gods approval. Others have decided that the
world is Godless, and so they, therefore, strive to please no one.
From our broader, non-physical vantage point, we understand the power, purpose
and value of the human being, the human mind, the human thought, for we know
that you are the leading edge of thought. We understand the value of the variety
in which you are living, and the purpose of the contrast that you observe. We
feel the clarity that arises from your focus in your environment, and we revel
in the expansion of thought that results from your exposure to your life
experiences. We understand creation-and we understand the power of thought.
You are not here in your physical body striving to achieve the non-physical for
you are not separate from the non-physical; you are an extension-a leading edge
extension-of that non physical energy. You are not here on planet earth trying
to get back to what is non physical, but instead, you are summoning the non
physical outward to where you are. And in that summoning, all-that-is expands,
and your summoning is the reason for that expansion.
Your Every Preference Is Heard and Answered
As you live your life, aware of your environment and all of its contrasting
components, a natural process of clarifying your personal preferences occurs.
Sometimes these preferences are so fully conscious that you speak of them in
terms of your desires, and sometimes they are more subtle and no words are
spoken, for these preferences happen at many levels of your being. Even the
cells of your body are Points of Consciousness “who” are experiencing contrast
and clarifying their preferences. In fact, everything around you: your animals,
your trees-even your rocks, dirt, and dust- are actually pulsing, living
Consciousness who are experiencing contrast and who have preferences. And these
living, pulsing preferences have summoning power.
In simpler terms, we like to say: When you ask, it is given. It is always given.
It is given every time. No exceptions . . . When you or anyone or anything asks,
it is given.
And this simple process of exposure to experience, which causes Consciousness to
clarify personal preferences, sets a vibrational summoning into motion that
causes the eternal expansion of the Universe.
When you realize that everything that you see around you in your time-space
reality is “Consciousness”, that every point of Consciousness is having an
experience in which it’s own preferences are born, in that every preference is
heard and answered, than you must understand, as we do, that all is very well.
About the Authors.
This article is an excerpt from a new book from Esther and Jerry Hicks, titled
“The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent.” Jerry and Esther Hicks produce and
present the leading-edge Abraham-Hicks teachings on the art of allowing our
natural Well-Being to come forth. While presenting open workshops in up to 60
cities a year, they’ve created more than 600 books, audios, CDs, and videos.
Their new book has been described as absolutely fabulous! This book can
transform every aspect of your life.” - Christiane Northrup, M.D. For complete
details, visit
http://www.SelfGrowth.com/hicksbook.html
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*** Book Review: The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent - by Esther and Jerry
Hicks ***
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You Can Have Whatever You Want in Your Life -- It’s Just a Matter of Allowing It
to Happen!
You may have discovered that wealth, health, relationships, or physical
accomplishments aren’t what bring you happiness. But you’ll be amazed to learn
that by deliberately finding and maintaining your vibrational balance on your
intended pathway of joy, you’ll also be attracting whatever you want to be, do
or have—and you can have the happiness, too.
In their astonishing new tradepaper edition of The Amazing Power of Deliberate
Intent, Esther and Jerry Hicks, who present the teachings of the Non-physical
entity Abraham, show us that once we tap in to the power of creating our own
truth, we’ll begin to see how life on the planet Earth is at its all-time
best…and getting better, and it contains the best that life has to offer!
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The list price of this book is $14.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for
$10.17, a 32% discount, go directly to
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