Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 441, February 20-21, 2007

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* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 441, Week of February 20-21, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com 

In this issue:

-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: Understanding Your Relationship with Money – By Anne Hartley
-- Article: Tapping the Full Potential of Your Speaking Voice – By Nancy Daniels
-- Book Review: Living on Purpose: Straight Answers to Life's Tough Questions – By Dan Millman
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscrïbe and Unsubscrïbe from this Newsletter

Current Subscribers – 254,002 subscribers.
Remöval instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.


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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid. – Lady Bird Johnson, Former First Lady of the United States

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. – Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist

When all else is lost, the future still remains. – Christian Nevell Bovee, 1820-1904, American Author and Lawyer



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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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LEARN THE SECRETS FOR IMPROVING THE SOUND OF YOUR SPEAKING VOICE as well as the ability to increase your volume without shouting, speak in living color, eliminate vocal abuse, and control nervousness in any form of public speaking. Check out Voicing It!, our DVD training course on voice improvement. http://www.voicedynamic.com/products.htm



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*** Article: Understanding Your Relationship with Money – By Anne Hartley ***
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Whenever we say that we want more money, less debt, or more possessions, what we are really saying is that we want a feeling. Money and possessions have no power. Power comes from the feeling we get from having money and possessions. In order to determine your money values, you need to determine what feelings are most important to you. If you want to have a lot of money so that you can do what you like, when you like, you're seeking a feeling of freedom -- this is your value. If you want to live in a beautiful home and live an affluent lifestyle, then you want to feel prosperous. If you want to know that there will always be enough money to pay the bills, retire in peace, and know you'll never have to worry about money again, you want to feel secure.

Recently, I moved into an old home, which I intend to renovate. My house has a very old but functional kitchen, which I don't like much but which I know I can live with for a while. This old kitchen has turned out to be one of life's blessings in disguise as I've learned quite a lot about money values from it.

When my eldest daughter, Lisa, first saw the kitchen, she said, "The first thing you have to get rid of is that kitchen." Lisa likes nice things and doesn't like to wait for them. My youngest daughter, Laura, is more security conscious, hates spending money, and likes to save, and she said, "There is nothing wrong with that kitchen. Why would you want to change it?"

The kitchen evoked three different responses in three different people, and that's the way it is with money. We are all different, and how we earn, manage, spend, save, and invest our money depends on our money values. The key to achieving your financial goals and living a life you love is to know your money values, then find a way to manage your money that respects these values.

Once I realized that my kitchen was a gauge for assessing money values, I decided to make the most of it. I started listening to what people were really telling me about their money values when they made any comments. A carpenter commented, "Nice kitchen." When I asked him if he was being sarcastic, he looked genuinely surprised, and I learned from subsequent conversations that he is very security conscious. When my former secretary, Lisa, came to visit and said, "Good size kitchen," I recognized this statement for what it was--a nice, neutral comment that was more about politeness than real feelings. So when I said that I disliked it and intended replacing it, she said, "Well, I didn't want to be rude by commenting on it." Another friend said, "Don't worry about the inside, what's important is to get the outside of the house looking good first."

What all these people told me is how they feel about money and what is most important to them. The most common money values are freedom, prosperity, and security. Although it is important to honor your money values, it is equally important how you do this. When you pursue a feeling to the exclusion of all else, you may find yourself in financial difficulties.

It would be easy to assume that everybody with the same money values has the same need, but they don't. One person's desire for freedom may mean that he simply cannot work for an employer, while another person may be quite happy working for an employer provided he is not tied down by financial responsibilities. One person may want more money so he can do what he likes, while another may not care about money but wants the freedom to be creative.

To discover your own money values, ask yourself these questions: If I was really happy and money was no object, what type of home would I live in? Who would I live with? Where would I live? What work would I do? What would I do with my leisure time? Who would I share my leisure time with? What would I look like? When making your choices, write down everything you think, and don't discount an idea because it seems too grand or too small. Once you've completed this exercise, look to see if one value is more dominant than any other. This is the value that you need to honor in a responsible way. Usually, one value will stand out, but this isn't always the case--some people can have two values that are equally important to them, and in this case you need to honor both values.

All money values have a positive side and a negative side, and learning to balance the two is the key to success. There's a lot we can learn from security conscious people because they are good with money. On the negative side, though, they can be overly cautious and as a result miss out on opportunities. In contrast, if you value prosperity, you know what's important to you, and quite simply, beauty is something that makes you happy. However, this needs to be balanced with being responsible and making choices that are going to help you over the longer term.

Whatever your money values, there is always a way to earn, manage, and achieve goals in a way that honors what's most important to you. If you are in a relationship with a partner who has different money values than you, you have an opportunity to learn, grow, and prosper. Couples with differing money values who work together are often the most financially successful because they balance each other. Sometimes, in a relationship, one person gives his power away to his partner, giving up his own desires for the sake of harmony. In an equal relationship, both parties have an equal say. If your partner refuses to respect your needs or to take responsibility for himself, then you need to look at what opportunity your relationship is presenting you with. You may need to love and respect yourself more. You do this by setting standards and letting other people know what you will and will not do.

You also need to be aware that if you are not prepared to change your behavior in any way, and that applies to the really extravagant as well as to the extremely security conscious, what is behind your behavior is fear. In this case, money problems are just a symptom of a deeper issue that needs to be dealt with.

Your money values hold the key to financïal freedom, so rather than cursing money, start loving it, and look for the gift in your current situation.

About the Author:
This article was written by Anne Hartley, contributing author to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Anne is the author of four books. She works as a life coach and trains others to be life coaches using her values-based approach. If you would like to receive her free newsletter, visit her website at http://www.hartlifecoaching.com.au

Her article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." This powerful compilation book -- with John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and countless other experts -- contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to improve your life.


*** If you purchase just one copy of their new book today, you will also receïve $1,500 worth of valuable bonus gifts. To see this special book package, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatwaysbook2.html



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*** Article: Tapping the Full Potential of Your Speaking Voice – By Nancy Daniels ***
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We are all concerned about public speaking: how to be more dynamic; how to control nervousness; how to keep your audience interested (and awake); etc. However, have you ever considered the sound of your speaking voice? Did you know that 37% of the image you project is your voice? To make matters worse, I'm talking about the voice you hear on your answering machine, not the sound you hear in your head. The former is the truth; the latter a lie.

In order to improve the sound of your speaking voice, you need to do two things: breathe with the support of your diaphragm, and speak within your optimum range. Most people are doing neither. Once you learn these two techniques, you will discover a rich, warm, resonant speaking voice as well as one that will improve with age because you have taken the pressure off the vocal folds and throat. When I'm 85, I may look like an old lady, but I will not sound like one. Ever.

All mammals have a diaphragm; all mammals use that muscle to support breathing. It is only the most intelligent of the mammals that stops this practice sometime during our childhood development. What results are voices that are being powered by the throat, vocal fold, mouth, and/or nose.

We have five cavities in the body in which sound should resonate or vibrate: the throat, the voice box, the mouth, the nose, and most importantly, the chest. Because the majority of the population is using only the upper portion of the chest to breathe (which is referred to as lazy or shallow breathing), that majority of the population is unable to capitalize on the fantastic sound that results when the chest becomes the major sounding board, the major amplifier. James Earl Jones is capitalizing on it, as well as Diane Sawyer, Cher, Kate Beckinsale, John Ries-Davies, and Lauren Bacall.

In addition, breathing with the support of your diaphragm means that you will be able to project your voice instead of shout. Projection is only possible if you are speaking within your optimum range and breathing properly -- anything else is yelling. I never yelled at my sons; I projected. When you yell, you're out of control; if you project, then you're in control. By the way, kids don't listen if you yell, but they do pay attention when you project.

More good news is that diaphragmatic breathing is the single most important thing you should do to control nervousness in any form of public speaking. Those who tell you differently are wrong. Sadly, breathing is something we never consider when we stand to speak except when it's gone. Breathlessness is a huge problem at the lectern. Let me ask you a question. Do you ever wonder when to take a breath in normal conversation? Probably not. So why is it such a concern in public speaking? Because we don't allow ourselves to take a breath before we run out of air; we wait until we are totally spent and then we gasp for the next breath which only increases out tension. When I give a presentation, I am nervous, but my audience does not see or hear it because I am breathing -- I'm using my diaphragm to control that nervousness. I like nervousness. Nervousness is good. It's that extra spurt of adrenaline that can help make your talk truly exhilarating. If you're not nervous, if your heart isn't beating a little faster, I'm concerned because your presentation or speech will be flat. The secret, however, lies in this control. Nervousness doesn't control me; I control it.

Having control over your speaking voice and your breathing is a fantastic asset. And, once you make diaphragmatic breathing a habit, you will discover benefits that have nothing to do with the voice or presentation skills.

In the meantime, let the power of your voice take their breath away, not yours!

About the Author:
Nancy Daniels is a voice specialist and president of Voice Dynamic. Working privately and corporately, she launched Voicing It! in April of 2006, the first video training course on voice improvement. You can see and hear video clips from her 5-session DVD on her website - http://www.voicedynamic.com  - as well as 'before' and 'after' clips of her clients.



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*** Book Review: Living on Purpose: Straight Answers to Life's Tough Questions – By Dan Millman ***
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The Sufi poet Rumi once claimed that it is better to live the questions than always know the answers. In this spirit, best-selling author Dan Millman offers a book of contemplative answers to the common spiritual questions that we all live with.

Millman has created a very readable format where he poses a question, offers a brief response (which he calls a "House Rule"), and then elaborates with lengthier thoughts and anecdotes. For example, when he asks, "Where can I find the right teacher for me?" he answers with this House Rule: "Our teachers appear in many forms." He then goes on to discuss how teachers can appear in the form of nature, strangers, children, or unexpected circumstances. Other questions include "Why does my life seem to be getting worse?" (HR: "If we don't learn easy lessons, they get harder.") and "What's the best way to make a big difference in the world?" (HR: "Little things can make a big difference.")

Although Millman became famous as a storyteller in the parable "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," his spiritual roots come from the discipline of martial arts. As a result, he sounds much more natural when conveying codes of honor than writing realistic dialog. To his credit, Millman has mastered a difficult and highly needed art form: writing an accessible guidebook on living purposefully that could soften the most jaded of hearts and sharpen the most undisciplined of spirits. --Gail Hudson

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