Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 441, February 20-21, 2007
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Issue # 441, Week of February 20-21, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
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In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: Understanding Your Relationship with Money – By Anne Hartley
-- Article: Tapping the Full Potential of Your Speaking Voice – By Nancy Daniels
-- Book Review: Living on Purpose: Straight Answers to Life's Tough Questions –
By Dan Millman
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscrïbe and Unsubscrïbe from this Newsletter
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you
forget to be afraid. – Lady Bird Johnson, Former First Lady of the United States
I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is
false. The hundredth time I am right. – Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born
American Physicist
When all else is lost, the future still remains. – Christian Nevell Bovee,
1820-1904, American Author and Lawyer
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LEARN THE SECRETS FOR IMPROVING THE SOUND OF YOUR SPEAKING VOICE as well as the
ability to increase your volume without shouting, speak in living color,
eliminate vocal abuse, and control nervousness in any form of public speaking.
Check out Voicing It!, our DVD training course on voice improvement.
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*** Article: Understanding Your Relationship with Money – By Anne Hartley ***
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Whenever we say that we want more money, less debt, or more possessions, what we
are really saying is that we want a feeling. Money and possessions have no
power. Power comes from the feeling we get from having money and possessions. In
order to determine your money values, you need to determine what feelings are
most important to you. If you want to have a lot of money so that you can do
what you like, when you like, you're seeking a feeling of freedom -- this is
your value. If you want to live in a beautiful home and live an affluent
lifestyle, then you want to feel prosperous. If you want to know that there will
always be enough money to pay the bills, retire in peace, and know you'll never
have to worry about money again, you want to feel secure.
Recently, I moved into an old home, which I intend to renovate. My house has a
very old but functional kitchen, which I don't like much but which I know I can
live with for a while. This old kitchen has turned out to be one of life's
blessings in disguise as I've learned quite a lot about money values from it.
When my eldest daughter, Lisa, first saw the kitchen, she said, "The first thing
you have to get rid of is that kitchen." Lisa likes nice things and doesn't like
to wait for them. My youngest daughter, Laura, is more security conscious, hates
spending money, and likes to save, and she said, "There is nothing wrong with
that kitchen. Why would you want to change it?"
The kitchen evoked three different responses in three different people, and
that's the way it is with money. We are all different, and how we earn, manage,
spend, save, and invest our money depends on our money values. The key to
achieving your financial goals and living a life you love is to know your money
values, then find a way to manage your money that respects these values.
Once I realized that my kitchen was a gauge for assessing money values, I
decided to make the most of it. I started listening to what people were really
telling me about their money values when they made any comments. A carpenter
commented, "Nice kitchen." When I asked him if he was being sarcastic, he looked
genuinely surprised, and I learned from subsequent conversations that he is very
security conscious. When my former secretary, Lisa, came to visit and said,
"Good size kitchen," I recognized this statement for what it was--a nice,
neutral comment that was more about politeness than real feelings. So when I
said that I disliked it and intended replacing it, she said, "Well, I didn't
want to be rude by commenting on it." Another friend said, "Don't worry about
the inside, what's important is to get the outside of the house looking good
first."
What all these people told me is how they feel about money and what is most
important to them. The most common money values are freedom, prosperity, and
security. Although it is important to honor your money values, it is equally
important how you do this. When you pursue a feeling to the exclusion of all
else, you may find yourself in financial difficulties.
It would be easy to assume that everybody with the same money values has the
same need, but they don't. One person's desire for freedom may mean that he
simply cannot work for an employer, while another person may be quite happy
working for an employer provided he is not tied down by financial
responsibilities. One person may want more money so he can do what he likes,
while another may not care about money but wants the freedom to be creative.
To discover your own money values, ask yourself these questions: If I was really
happy and money was no object, what type of home would I live in? Who would I
live with? Where would I live? What work would I do? What would I do with my
leisure time? Who would I share my leisure time with? What would I look like?
When making your choices, write down everything you think, and don't discount an
idea because it seems too grand or too small. Once you've completed this
exercise, look to see if one value is more dominant than any other. This is the
value that you need to honor in a responsible way. Usually, one value will stand
out, but this isn't always the case--some people can have two values that are
equally important to them, and in this case you need to honor both values.
All money values have a positive side and a negative side, and learning to
balance the two is the key to success. There's a lot we can learn from security
conscious people because they are good with money. On the negative side, though,
they can be overly cautious and as a result miss out on opportunities. In
contrast, if you value prosperity, you know what's important to you, and quite
simply, beauty is something that makes you happy. However, this needs to be
balanced with being responsible and making choices that are going to help you
over the longer term.
Whatever your money values, there is always a way to earn, manage, and achieve
goals in a way that honors what's most important to you. If you are in a
relationship with a partner who has different money values than you, you have an
opportunity to learn, grow, and prosper. Couples with differing money values who
work together are often the most financially successful because they balance
each other. Sometimes, in a relationship, one person gives his power away to his
partner, giving up his own desires for the sake of harmony. In an equal
relationship, both parties have an equal say. If your partner refuses to respect
your needs or to take responsibility for himself, then you need to look at what
opportunity your relationship is presenting you with. You may need to love and
respect yourself more. You do this by setting standards and letting other people
know what you will and will not do.
You also need to be aware that if you are not prepared to change your behavior
in any way, and that applies to the really extravagant as well as to the
extremely security conscious, what is behind your behavior is fear. In this
case, money problems are just a symptom of a deeper issue that needs to be dealt
with.
Your money values hold the key to financïal freedom, so rather than cursing
money, start loving it, and look for the gift in your current situation.
About the Author:
This article was written by Anne Hartley, contributing author to "101 Great Ways
to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Anne is the author of four books. She works as
a life coach and trains others to be life coaches using her values-based
approach. If you would like to receive her free newsletter, visit her website at
http://www.hartlifecoaching.com.au
Her article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in "101 Great
Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." This powerful compilation book -- with
John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and
countless other experts -- contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to
improve your life.
*** If you purchase just one copy of their new book today, you will also receïve
$1,500 worth of valuable bonus gifts. To see this special book package, please
visit
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*** Article: Tapping the Full Potential of Your Speaking Voice – By Nancy
Daniels ***
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We are all concerned about public speaking: how to be more dynamic; how to
control nervousness; how to keep your audience interested (and awake); etc.
However, have you ever considered the sound of your speaking voice? Did you know
that 37% of the image you project is your voice? To make matters worse, I'm
talking about the voice you hear on your answering machine, not the sound you
hear in your head. The former is the truth; the latter a lie.
In order to improve the sound of your speaking voice, you need to do two things:
breathe with the support of your diaphragm, and speak within your optimum range.
Most people are doing neither. Once you learn these two techniques, you will
discover a rich, warm, resonant speaking voice as well as one that will improve
with age because you have taken the pressure off the vocal folds and throat.
When I'm 85, I may look like an old lady, but I will not sound like one. Ever.
All mammals have a diaphragm; all mammals use that muscle to support breathing.
It is only the most intelligent of the mammals that stops this practice sometime
during our childhood development. What results are voices that are being powered
by the throat, vocal fold, mouth, and/or nose.
We have five cavities in the body in which sound should resonate or vibrate: the
throat, the voice box, the mouth, the nose, and most importantly, the chest.
Because the majority of the population is using only the upper portion of the
chest to breathe (which is referred to as lazy or shallow breathing), that
majority of the population is unable to capitalize on the fantastic sound that
results when the chest becomes the major sounding board, the major amplifier.
James Earl Jones is capitalizing on it, as well as Diane Sawyer, Cher, Kate
Beckinsale, John Ries-Davies, and Lauren Bacall.
In addition, breathing with the support of your diaphragm means that you will be
able to project your voice instead of shout. Projection is only possible if you
are speaking within your optimum range and breathing properly -- anything else
is yelling. I never yelled at my sons; I projected. When you yell, you're out of
control; if you project, then you're in control. By the way, kids don't listen
if you yell, but they do pay attention when you project.
More good news is that diaphragmatic breathing is the single most important
thing you should do to control nervousness in any form of public speaking. Those
who tell you differently are wrong. Sadly, breathing is something we never
consider when we stand to speak except when it's gone. Breathlessness is a huge
problem at the lectern. Let me ask you a question. Do you ever wonder when to
take a breath in normal conversation? Probably not. So why is it such a concern
in public speaking? Because we don't allow ourselves to take a breath before we
run out of air; we wait until we are totally spent and then we gasp for the next
breath which only increases out tension. When I give a presentation, I am
nervous, but my audience does not see or hear it because I am breathing -- I'm
using my diaphragm to control that nervousness. I like nervousness. Nervousness
is good. It's that extra spurt of adrenaline that can help make your talk truly
exhilarating. If you're not nervous, if your heart isn't beating a little
faster, I'm concerned because your presentation or speech will be flat. The
secret, however, lies in this control. Nervousness doesn't control me; I control
it.
Having control over your speaking voice and your breathing is a fantastic asset.
And, once you make diaphragmatic breathing a habit, you will discover benefits
that have nothing to do with the voice or presentation skills.
In the meantime, let the power of your voice take their breath away, not yours!
About the Author:
Nancy Daniels is a voice specialist and president of Voice Dynamic. Working
privately and corporately, she launched Voicing It! in April of 2006, the first
video training course on voice improvement. You can see and hear video clips
from her 5-session DVD on her website -
http://www.voicedynamic.com - as well as 'before' and 'after' clips of
her clients.
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*** Book Review: Living on Purpose: Straight Answers to Life's Tough Questions –
By Dan Millman ***
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The Sufi poet Rumi once claimed that it is better to live the questions than
always know the answers. In this spirit, best-selling author Dan Millman offers
a book of contemplative answers to the common spiritual questions that we all
live with.
Millman has created a very readable format where he poses a question, offers a
brief response (which he calls a "House Rule"), and then elaborates with
lengthier thoughts and anecdotes. For example, when he asks, "Where can I find
the right teacher for me?" he answers with this House Rule: "Our teachers appear
in many forms." He then goes on to discuss how teachers can appear in the form
of nature, strangers, children, or unexpected circumstances. Other questions
include "Why does my life seem to be getting worse?" (HR: "If we don't learn
easy lessons, they get harder.") and "What's the best way to make a big
difference in the world?" (HR: "Little things can make a big difference.")
Although Millman became famous as a storyteller in the parable "Way of the
Peaceful Warrior," his spiritual roots come from the discipline of martial arts.
As a result, he sounds much more natural when conveying codes of honor than
writing realistic dialog. To his credit, Millman has mastered a difficult and
highly needed art form: writing an accessible guidebook on living purposefully
that could soften the most jaded of hearts and sharpen the most undisciplined of
spirits. --Gail Hudson
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