Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 456, June 5-6, 2007
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Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 456, June 5-6, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter
*
Issue # 456, Week of June 5-6, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: How Can Writing Improve Your Life? – By Kelly Robbins
-- Article: The Secrets to Lifelong Love: Brought to You by Two Bachelors – By
Mat Boggs and Jason Miller
-- Book Review: Emotional Wellness: Transforming Fear, Anger, and Jealousy into
Creative Energy – By Osho
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers – 257,918 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought
together. – Vincent Van Gogh, 1853-1890, Dutch Painter
Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. – Frank
Lloyd Wright, 1867-1959, American Architect
The value of an idea lies in the using of it. – Thomas Edison, 1847-1931,
American Inventor and Entrepreneur
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*** Article: How Can Writing Improve Your Life? – By Kelly Robbins ***
----------------------------------------------------
From ancient storytelling and hieroglyphics to modern-day therapy and prescribed
journaling, writing is one of the oldest and most effective ways we
communicate--both with ourselves and with others.
For centuries, people have written to bring clarity and focus to problems
they've been struggling with. For those who are shy or can't find the words to
express themselves, writing is a great way to get their points across,
especially on personal or emotional matters.
Writing adds permanency and a sense of tangibility to your thoughts. An example
is goal setting: experts tell us to write our goals down. It's one thing to
think about something you want to accomplish in your life or in business--to set
a goal. Taking the extra time to write down that goal makes it more permanent.
You are more likely to achieve it if it is written down.
You don't have to write with the intention of being published. Write for...
* self-expression
* introspection
* pleasure
* growth
* clarity
* emotional relief
* storytelling
* communicating
Writing adds another dimension to your thoughts. It expands on the experience
and adds depth to the thought, making it much more likely to become a reality.
When doing anything in your life, I encourage you to use as many of your senses
as you can. It enriches the experience and makes the reality of it more vivid.
Writing adds the sense of touch and sight to your thoughts. Read your writing
out loud--you add hearing. In business I teach my clients to incorporate as many
of the senses into their marketing as they can: touch, hearing, sight, smell,
and taste. Writing your goals down adds another dimension to the goal. You use
another one of those senses and are thus much more likely to accomplish that
goal...because you made it more tangible, more real.
Whether writing for pleasure or to fill your deep-seated desire to write the
great American novel, many people find that the hardest part of writing is
getting started. Determining what to write about is simply a daunting task for
some. Staring at the blank page makes it worse. Part of what makes writing fun
is seeing your thoughts flowing easily and effortlessly onto the page. But
getting to that point--the effortless place where creativity and your individual
thoughts come together on the page--can be tough in the beginning.
As I am writing this piece, my nine-year-old daughter is writing the final draft
of a story she wrote in class. When she first brought this story home a few days
ago, she was bubbling with excitement and enthusiasm. She had written an
in-depth, five-page story, and many of her classmates only wrote a paragraph or
two in the same amount of time. Her story was awesome, and she knew it. She
started writing, and the words just flew onto the page; before she knew it,
class was over. She's upset now because she has to edit and rewrite 10 times as
much as her classmates before her next class. (She quickly realized it could be
a bad thing if she were to continue to write that much.)
My point is that once you are in the flow--when you're in a good place and
thoughts and ideas are flowing without effort--writing can be pure joy. The key
is to train yourself to get to that place without effort. Following are some
things to help you find that free-flowing place.
* Develop a routine, but don't make your routine difficult.
* Use a crisp pad of paper. (I always need to have a legal size pad of yellow
paper. No crinkled edges. No torn pages.)
* Is your laptop better?
* Write in a quiet house or room.
* Get out of the house. Maybe sit at the local coffee shop or under a tree.
* Notice what isn't working so you can get away from it. The kids running madly
around the house stresses me out.
* Write at the same time every day--maybe right after your first cup of coffee.
* Do you wake up early at exactly the same time every morning? Like 3:00 a.m.?
If you actually take the time to get out of bed, that is a very calm time of day
and can be a great time for you to be alone with yourself and do some writing.
* At the end of a stressful day, a glass of wine and a pad of paper can be a
great way to relax and work through some of your issues. Brainstorm ideas;
gather thoughts...something as simple as dumping out a list of everything you
need to do for the next few days can be a relief and help you to relax if you're
stressed. (I lovingly call this my brain-dump.)
* Set a goal for yourself: 1 hour, 15 minutes, 20 pages, 1 chapter. Find what
works for you.
* Write in something special--a beautifully bound journal with an expensive pen
you splurged on. Make your writing time special and joyous.
* When you are writing, don't worry about spelling and punctuation. Just get
your thoughts down. Let your thoughts flow freely.
* Try different things until you find what works for you.
These are just suggestions to get you started. You are not going to know what
works for you if you don't just start writing. I am a writer by trade, and I
coach people that want to make a living as a writer. I see them procrastinate
over and over again, and the one thing I tell them over and over again is to
just start writing. Once you get into the flow, you'll see your life improve in
more ways than you can count.
About the Author:
This article was written by Kelly Robbins, contributing author to "101 Great
Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Kelly is a healthcare copywriter and
marketing coach and consultant. She is the author of "The Essential Healthcare
Copywriters Toolkit" and publishes The Healthcare Marketing Connection e-zine:
http://www.healthcaremarketingconnection.com. Kelly can be reached at
http://www.KellyRobbinsLLC.com
Her article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in "101 Great
Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." This powerful compilation book -- with
John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and
countless other experts -- contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to
improve your life.
*** If you purchase just one copy of their new book today, you will also receive
$1,500 worth of valuable bonus gifts. To see this special book package, please
visit
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*** Article: The Secrets to Lifelong Love: Brought to You by Two Bachelors – By
Mat Boggs and Jason Miller ***
----------------------------------------------------
Throughout our search for America's greatest marriages, the record for the
longest interview Jason (my best friend since third grade) and I have done goes
to Ruth and Eddie Elcott, a feisty and vibrant couple married 62 years.
Three hours into the interview, I wanted to know the Holy Grail of marriage
principles, the real juice that kept their marriage flourishing. I asked Ruth
and Eddie, "In your opinion, what are the most important things to do or to
practice in a marriage to keep it healthy."
"Your top three," Jason quickly added.
We leaned in, ready to soak up their secrets like a couple of sponges.
"I think Eddie brought that out very beautifully," Ruth answered confidently.
"So you have commitment, that's one," I prompted, hoping to get a different
response.
Then Ruth began counting on her fingers as she said, "And then you have
commitment, and then you have commitment, and then you can think of the next
thing."
As Jason and I, two relationship clueless bachelors, traveled over 12,000 miles
across the country, interviewing couples happily married over 40 years in search
of their secrets to lifelong love, virtually every couple we interviewed spoke
about the power of commitment.
Halfway through our tour, I found myself frustrated. It wasn't that I didn't
think they had the right answer (although to a Gen-X, single male, the word
"commitment" sounds like fingernails raking across a chalkboard). I knew great
relationships took solid commitment, but it's the HOW I wanted. How do these
couples stay committed through the tough times? As we dug into the interviews,
persistently asking how, couples consistently replied, "You just do it." We
heard "you just do it" so many times, I thought we should send the footage over
to Nike and get a million-dollar ad campaign going for a new line of geriatric
jogging shoes. But finally the digging paid off when one couple described
commitment as a mindset, a decision to love his partner even when he didn't feel
in love.
Wait. Wait. Wait a second... This was not good news for me. "There were times
you didn't feel in love anymore?!" I wanted to cry out. Their words ignited one
of my biggest fears. I can't imagine being stuck in a lifeless, loveless
marriage for the rest of my life. I'd been in relationships that had gone stale
before, and only one word summed it up--agony. I'd rather be tied down and eaten
by hoards of South American fire ants before I'd live out the rest my days in a
stiff, frigid marriage.
These couples explained that just like an ocean tide, marriages have an ebb and
flow. Sometimes things are great; you feel connected and wrapped up in that
magical feeling of love. That's the flow (which I enjoy very much, by the way).
But then other times the relationship will ebb. The connection isn't as strong,
and the magic that once felt so intoxicating seems to be MIA. The phrase "just
do it" comes from a foundation of trust. These couples demonstrated that true
commitment means trusting the marriage will get better--trusting the ebb will
once again become the flow. Commitment means enduring the ebbs and having faith
that the magic and the connection will be resurrected. The key, they explained,
is making the decision to not give up when the marriage is ebbing.
I had believed that once the magic in the marriage faded, then it was all
over--there was no chance of ever getting it back. I can't say whether the
decisions my parents, aunts and uncles made to divorce were right or wrong, but
what I would have taken from these role models was this: an ebb in marriage is
an end to marriage. I now know better.
One Marriage Master of 42 years named Greg explained how years before, he had
experienced a time when it seemed the passion was completely zapped from his
relationship. He'd look at his wife, and the void in his heart made him sick to
his stomach. He had absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever. But instead of
giving up, he waited. A few months went by, and all of a sudden, "like a flower
blossoming again, the feelings rushed back" and he fell in love with his wife
again. He recalled thinking to himself, "How could I have ever wanted to leave
this woman? I love her so much."
"I'm so glad that I didn't throw in the towel too early, like so many people do,
and lose the best thing that's ever happened to me."
The Marriage Masters (couples happily married over 40 years) taught us the
secret to bringing the flow back in a marriage; they taught us the secret to
their commitment. They told us over and over again, "Just do it." Well, here is
what they "just do." The secret to bringing the flow back in a marriage is to
act loving even if you don't feel loving. Marriage Master David Epstein, married
50 years, says, "Love is not a feeling, it is decision you make every day.
Feelings follow thoughts and behavior. If you act loving and give to your
partner, then what follows is the feeling of the very love you are expressing."
The Marriage Masters blew my old paradigm apart. They showed me that it's
possible to experience ebbs--lack of passion; bickering, turmoil--and still
return to love. All we have to do is commit.
About the Authors:
If you're interested in their project, be sure to watch the bachelors on the
Today Show on Tuesday, June 5th, as Jason and Mat talk about their new book,
"Project Everlasting: Two Bachelors Discover the Secrets of America's Greatest
Marriages." For more information, go to
http://www.ProjectEverlasting.com
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*** Book Review: Emotional Wellness: Transforming Fear, Anger, and Jealousy into
Creative Energy – By Osho ***
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How do we reconcile our need to express our emotions with our desire to protect
others? Far too often we find ourselves trapped in this dilemma of expression
versus repression. We fear that by expressing our true feelings, we will hurt
and alienate those close to us. But by repressing our emotions--even in the
benevolent guise of "self-control"--we only risk hurting ourselves.
Osho, one of the most provocative and inspiring spiritual teachers of our time,
provides here a practical and comprehensive approach to dealing with this
conflict effectively. Incorporating new, never-before-published material,
"Emotional Wellness" leads us to understand the roots of our emotions, to react
to situations in a way that can teach us more about ourselves and others, and to
respond to life's inevitable ups and downs with far greater confidence and
equilibrium.
Discover:
* The impact that fear, anger, and jealousy have on our lives.
* How emotions like guilt, insecurity, and fear are used to manipulate us.
* How to break out of unhealthy responses to strong emotions.
* How to transform destructive emotions into creative energy.
* The role of society and culture on our individual emotional styles.
Osho's unique insight into the human mind and heart goes far beyond conventional
psychology. He teaches us to experience our emotions fully and to deal with them
creatively in order to achieve a richer, fuller life.
*****
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