Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 467, August 21-22, 2007
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Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 467, August 21-22, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 467, Week of August 21-22, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: How Will I Know I Am In Love? - By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr.
Elizabeth A. Schmitz
-- Article: Remarkable Leadership -- Unleashing Your Leadership Potential One
Skill at a Time [Excerpt] - By Kevin Eikenberry
-- Book Review: How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You
Say, & Get What You Want! - By Meryl Runion
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers - 259,889 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882, American Poet and Essayist
The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top. - Joyce Brothers, American Psychologist/Columnist/Author
Positive anything is better than negative nothing. -
Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915, American Philosopher and Writer
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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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*** Article: How Will I Know I Am In Love? - By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr.
Elizabeth A. Schmitz ***
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In our many interviews with people "in love," we ask them, perhaps, the most revealing question of the interview: "How will I know I am in love?" We have heard very consistent answers. And conversely, many people involved in a new loving relationship, particularly young people, often ask us, "How do I know if I am in love?" We think we know the answer.
While we have heard a number of answers to our "in love" question, we can place them in seven categories. And, perhaps surprisingly, they have stayed the same over our 25 years of research on couples in love. Here they are, in a nutshell.
The first category is physical. People who say they are in love report getting "goosebumps," "a palpitating heart," "sweaty palms," "a lump in my throat," "teary-eyed when I say goodbye," "a tingling sensation all over my body," and the like. People in love have a positive physical reaction when they think about or see the one they love in person.
The second category is emotional. When they think about or see the person they love, most lovers report similar feelings -- "I laugh more often when I am with the person I love," "an uncontrollable smile comes over my face whenever I see her," and "I miss him when he leaves the room." People in love feel emotions for the person they love that they do not routinely feel for others.
The third category is positive worry. Over the years, we continue to be amazed about the consistency with which people in love report to us that they "worry about their lover" when they are not around. Little thoughts of what we have come to call "positive worry" about the one they love begins to creep into their mind -- things like car accidents, falling down, getting hurt at work, and getting sick. The folks we interview for the most part do not worry compulsively or negatively. These thoughts are normal and natural when you are "in love."
The fourth category is what we call the
I-cannot-imagine-life-without-her category. This is the point in love when you
begin to think about the future
-- your future with the one you love. When you cannot imagine your life without
him, you are in love!
The fifth category focuses on the oneness of your relationship. You begin to realize that you truly want this other person in your life. You want to be with them. You want to share with them. You want to live with them, share a bed with them, hold them, and hug them. In our book, we refer to the notion of "turning two into one." You actually begin to think about the one you love and not just about yourself or your needs. You think about theirs -- their wants, their needs, and their desires. When the feeling of oneness consumes your body, you are in love!
The sixth category is about pre-occupied love. Simply stated, you think about the one you love most of the time. You can't get them out of your mind. You pull their photo out of your wallet, and you smile. You are pre-occupied with them. When you are pre-occupied with them, you are in love with them!
The seventh and final category is love itself and your ability to express that love. You finally have the courage to tell them you love them! You miss them when they are not around. You worry about them. You care about their safety and welfare. You feel about them in ways you have never felt about another human being before. You suddenly and out of nowhere are inspired to say I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! You shout it to the stars. You are in love!
http://www.GoldenAnniversaries.com
About the Authors:
With 25 years of research experience on successfully married couples and their
own 40 years of successful marriage, Drs. Charles and Liz Schmitz know what
makes marriage work. From their research, they have discovered seven pervasive
characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book, "Golden
Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage," exposes their secrets
for success through poignant, real life stories, garnered from hundreds of
interviews with happily married couples as well as from their own 40-year
marriage:
http://www.goldenanniversaries.com/Golden%20Anniversaries%20Book.html
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz has been a highly successful faculty member and administrator in higher education for 37 years. His teaching has focused in the areas of counseling psychology and leadership development. During his distinguished career, he has received some 30 local, state, and national awards and honors; published over 50 articles and manuscripts; delivered well over 500 public speeches, professional presentations, and workshops; and has traveled throughout the world. He has appeared on radio and television, and has been frequently quoted in the print media. He received his Ph.D. degree in educational leadership with supporting areas in counseling and psychology from the University of Missouri-Columbia. He currently is Dean of the College of Education at the University of Missouri-St. Louis.
Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz was an award-winning
administrator and educator in the K-12 public schools for 36 years and has
lectured in numerous college courses in the areas of counseling and leadership,
since receiving her doctoral degree from the University of Missouri-Columbia. As
the former chief operating officer for a school district of over 20,000 students
and 2,100 employees, she understands complex organizations and human relations
issues. During her long career, she received more than 25 local, state, and
national awards and honors, published over 30 articles and manuscripts, and
delivered over 400 speeches, workshops, and presentations. Elizabeth has made
numerous radio appearances, been featured on television, and quoted extensively
in the print media on a variety of topics over the years. She is currently
president of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC:
http://www.goldenanniversaries.com/Golden%20Anniversaries.html
Check out the Experts page for Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A.
Schmitz, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guides to Love:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/charles_elizabeth_schmitz.html
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*** Article: Remarkable Leadership -- Unleashing Your Leadership Potential One
Skill at a Time [Excerpt] - By Kevin Eikenberry ***
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My Philosophy
When I read a book, I always appreciate knowing the author's perspective and philosophy. Once I learn an author's underlying beliefs, I am in a better position to learn from him or her. I've actually already shared part of that philosophy, but here is some more context.
Our Potential Is Vast
Think about the last time you were in a room of people where a baby was present. Where was most of the focus in the room? On the baby, of course! We all are drawn to babies, like metal to a magnet. We all sense that there is something magical about their presence. However, on a purely logical level, this doesn't make much sense.
Babies cry. Babies smell (really bad) sometimes. Babies are high maintenance.
And they aren't attractive by the standards we use to determine physical attractiveness in adults. Yet we are still drawn to them. We want to look at them (or their pictures in their absence). We want to hold them, smile at them, and talk to them in strange voices. Why is this true? Because deep down we know that every baby we hold, every baby we look at, every baby we hear has the chance to be anyone and anything. That baby could be a president of the United States, a Nobel Prize-winning scientist, a best-selling author, a preacher, a teacher, a star athlete -- anyone.
We know that a baby's potential is limitless.
Because you were once a baby too, that same limitless potential that we know resides in babies still resides in us. Our potential is vast: we are capable of far more than we can ever imagine. This potential exists in all parts of our life, including our potential to be a truly remarkable leader.
We Can Choose
One of the most valuable abilities we all have -- something that distinguishes humans from other animals -- is the ability to choose. We make choices all day, every day. Many are subconscious and taken for granted, but we can choose how to respond to a situation, what to say, and how to view something. We also have the power to make a choice to learn and grow, or to stay and stagnate.
This book is about helping you use your power of choice wisely to help you become a remarkable leader.
Opportunities Abound
Chances are you are reading this book because you want to become a more effective leader in one part of your life: at work, in your church, in a volunteer organization, or in some other role. Having a focus is a perfect way to approach this book, but you shouldn't limit your view.
The skills of a leader are transferable across all the roles you play in all parts of your life. So while you may read this book through the lenses of your leadership role at work, recognize that you can practice and use those skills in your community, in your church, with your neighbors, and even at home.
We Shouldn't Settle
If you believe, even if only intellectually at this point, that your potential is huge, then it should be easy to see why you shouldn't settle for less than your best. You didn't decide to read this book because you thought you could be a slightly-better-than-mediocre leader. You didn't decide to learn more about leadership skills so you could get by.
Deep down you know you can be remarkable. You shouldn't settle for anything less than your best self, reaching ever closer to your potential -- whether as a leader or in any other part of your life.
This isn't the time or the place for compromise. Now is the time to take action to become what you are capable of being. This book is about helping you move up your ladder of success, increasing your confidence and competence as a leader -- to become remarkable.
What Are the Skills?
Before you read any further, get a mental picture of a person you consider a remarkable leader: a person who personifies leadership to you. This person can be living or dead, someone you know well or have worked with, or someone you have only read about or observed from afar. Once you have that person in your mind, write his or her name below.
My remarkable role model leader:
Now write down five skills, attributes, behaviors, or habits that make this person a model of leadership for you:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
We all have a picture in our mind's eye of what a great leader looks like or of how a great leader behaves. You've just now identified part of your personal picture.
Organizations build these pictures too. They are reinforced through culture and often codified by a list of leadership competencies or leadership behaviors used to describe the traits they value and use to evaluate potential leaders within the organization. Each organization has a different list of competencies. The lists I've seen range from five to twenty-three competencies. In the end, although those skills may be stated somewhat differently, there are some core skills or competencies that usually are included. This book focuses on thirteen of those core competencies:
Remarkable leaders learn continually.
Remarkable leaders champion change.
Remarkable leaders communicate powerfully.
Remarkable leaders build relationships.
Remarkable leaders develop others.
Remarkable leaders focus on customers.
Remarkable leaders influence with impact.
Remarkable leaders think and act innovatively.
Remarkable leaders value collaboration and teamwork.
Remarkable leaders solve problems and make decisions.
Remarkable leaders take responsibility and have accountability.
Remarkable leaders manage projects and processes successfully.
Remarkable leaders set goals and support goal achievement.
These are the competencies I have identified through
experience, consultation, observation, and study as those broad, core
competencies that lead to remarkable leaders.
About the Author:
Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The
Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps clients reach
their potential through a variety of training, consulting, and speaking
services. You can learn more about him and a special offer on his newest book,
"Remarkable Leadership: Unleashing Your Leadership Potential One Skill at a
Time" here:
http://RemarkableLeadershipBook.com/bonuses.asp
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*** Book Review: How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You
Say, & Get What You Want! - By Meryl Runion ***
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In this breakthrough guide, communication guru Meryl Runion explains why effective communication is more than just a business tool. It is also the key to happier, healthier relationships, and greater personal fulfillment and business success. In "How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want!" she introduces readers to the concept of power phrases -- short, focused expressions that let people be direct and to the point without seeming brusque or nasty. In clear, down-to-earth language, illustrated with numerous vignettes and real-world examples, Runion teaches readers how to:
* Say what needs to be said without fear of
misinterpretation or creating negative emotional responses.
* Master six basic methods for crafting power phrases for any setting and every
social, professional, or interpersonal situation.
*****
The list price of this book is $12.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for
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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:
* Artists Beat Writers in Charity Softball: Artists Beat Writers 13-5 in Long Island Charity Softball Game *
A softball team of artists including supermodel Christie
Brinkley beat a team of writers 13-5 in a charity game. The artists, including
"Footloose"
star Lori Singer, scored four runs in the first inning of the annual Artists and
Writers Charity Softball Game on Saturday. (Click here for complete news
story)
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=3499615
* Dendreon breast cancer drug effective in trial *
Dendreon Corp., the developer of a treatment to stimulate
the immune system against prostate cancer, said a small study suggests the same
technique may help women with breast cancer. A clinical trial of Neuvenge showed
that four of 18 patients taking the treatment, or 22 percent, had their tumors
shrink or stabilize, according to results published in the Aug. 20 issue of the
Journal of Clinical Oncology. (Click here for complete news story)
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/health/328136_dendreon18.html
* Tiny N.J. baby ready to return home *
After almost four months of waiting, Tamera Dixon, who weighed less than a soda
can when she was born on April 25, is ready to head home. Believed to be one of
the smallest babies ever born in New Jersey, the Trenton preemie has spent most
of her life in an incubator. Tamera weighed slightly more than 11 ounces and
measured 10 inches when she was born after only 6 months in the womb. Now that
she's 4 pounds, 8 ounces, doctors have given her the OK to go home with her
parents. (Click here for complete news story)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070818/ap_on_he_me/eleven_ounce_baby_4
Other:
* Country legend, career left for dead, rises again *
Porter Wagoner looks right at home in the marble lobby of
Manhattan's Roosevelt Hotel. He wears a dark Western suit and tie and holds a
shiny black cane. The glare from the crystal chandelier reflects off his
eyeglasses as he tilts his head back, trying to remember the last time he played
Madison Square Garden. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/17/music.porters.revival.ap/index.html
* Rare identical quadruplets born in Montana *
A 35-year-old Canadian woman has given birth to rare identical quadruplets, hospital officials said. Karen Jepp of Calgary, Canada, delivered Autumn, Brooke, Calissa and Dahlia by Caesarian section Sunday afternoon at Benefis Healthcare hospital in Great Falls, Montana, said Amy Astin, a spokeswoman for the hospital. (Click here for complete news story) http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/08/17/identical.quads.ap/index.html
* Poll: Family Ties Key to Youth Happiness -- AP/MTV Poll: Happiness for
America's Young People Often Means Family Ties, Faith, Belonging *
So you're between the ages of 13 and 24. What makes you
happy? A worried, weary parent might imagine the answer to sound something like
this: Sex, drugs, a little rock 'n' roll. Maybe some cash, or at least the car
keys.
Turns out the real answer is quite different. Spending time with family was the
top answer to that open-ended question, according to an extensive survey of more
than 100 questions asked of 1,280 people ages 13-24 conducted by The Associated
Press and MTV on the nature of happiness among America's young people. (Click
here for complete news story)
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=3499089