Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 470, September 11-12, 2007
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Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 470, September 11-12, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 470, Week of
September 11-12, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: Law of Attraction: Allow and Receive Your Desires - By Carolyn B.
Ellis
-- Article: Anger and the American Family: 3 Steps to Diffuse Family Anger by
Changing Your Inner Conversations - By Dr. Tony Fiore
-- Book Review: The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your
Guide - By Esther and Jerry Hicks
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers - 260,403 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the
end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love! - Victor
Hugo, 1802-1885, French Poet/Dramatist/Novelist
When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace. - John Lubbock,
1834-1913, English Archaeologist/Naturalist/Politician
Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. - Albert
Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist
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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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----------------------------------------------------
*** Article: Law of Attraction: Allow and Receive Your Desires - By Carolyn
B. Ellis ***
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Separation and divorce are two of the biggest roller coaster rides you'll
ever find emotionally. The Law of Attraction can give you some traction, so
you can regain your footing and see your way forward in your divorce
journey.
Our thoughts create feelings, which in turn create vibrations that are
either positive or negative. The Law of Attraction states that "like
attracts like" and that what you focus your attention on will expand.
The first step to using the Law of Attraction is to get clear on what it is
you do want. A powerful gift of divorce is it can give you a clear picture
of what you DON'T want, which you can easily use to get clear on what you DO
want. I am currently a single gal, and it took me only about five minutes to
create a list of over 60 qualities I don't want in a future partner. I went
over my list asking myself the question "What do I want?" instead. The
answers to that question allowed me to generate a list of qualities I would
like in a partner. It was empowering and a lot of fun to get clarity!
The second step is to give your desire attention. Your job in the second
step is simply to maintain a positive focus on your desire, knowing that as
you do so, the universe is aligning people and circumstances to match that
vibration. You don't have to know "how" exactly all of this will transpire
for you. Let the universe do its job!
The all-important third step is: Allow
You won't reap the benefits of the first two steps unless you get the third
step right, which is to allow or receive your desires. Esther and Jerry
Hicks explain that there is an unending stream of abundance available to us.
Our ability to accept the abundance that is always offered is where our
challenges lie.
Imagine a river flowing downstream. When you are open to receiving your
desires, you're in your boat headed merrily downstream. (If you recall the
lyrics of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" now, it's actually a pretty deep
philosophical song!) In fact, you could even choose to drop the oars and go
with the flow. Step three has you going with the flow and enjoying the
scenery along the way (even if the view was somewhat different than you
thought it would be).
Tools to Reduce Doubt
Many people aren't comfortable dropping the oars in their boat and going
with the flow. What do your doubts sound like? Perhaps your inner critic
tells you, "I don't deserve this," "I'm going to be alone forever," or "I'm
not good enough." Doubt impedes your ability to receive because it sends out
a negative vibration. You start to put your attention on what's wrong, and
the Law of Attraction kicks in to give you more of what you're putting your
time and energy on. Not only are you gripping the oars, but you're starting
to head your boat upstream against the current.
The more you can reduce your doubt, the more powerfully and quickly you'll
be able to manifest your desires. People often get impatient with the gap
between where they are now and where they want to go. They give up right
before they cross the finish line. One way to handle your doubts is to
become aware of your doubts or limiting beliefs. Treat the words "because"
and "but" as big red flags. Anything you say or think after using those
words is likely a version of your limited beliefs about yourself.
Reducing your doubt, even slightly, will make it easier for you to attract
what you want. Esther Hicks advises you to "soften and reach for thoughts
that bring you relief" as a way to gently turn your boat from "upstream"
thoughts back into the downstream current. If you feel controlled by your
limiting beliefs, hire a coach to do some internal emotional housecleaning
with you. (If you'd like to learn more about the kind of coaching I offer,
please visit my coaching website.)
You can clear yourself of doubt by consciously collecting evidence that you
are on the right track. Celebrate a stranger holding the door open for you
or the unexpected check in the mail. There will be a lag time between
articulating what you want and manifesting it in your reality, but there
will be signs along the way that you're on track that can keep you fueled
and in a positive state of attention.
Another way to help you receive is gratitude. Take the time to feel deep
appreciation and gratitude for your life as it is right now. Look at the
people in your life, even the ones you don't particularly like, and be
grateful for the lessons you've learned and the relationships you've
created.
Take Action!
1. What's up, Doc? Over the next 7 days, keep a list of your doubts and
limiting beliefs. Notice what thoughts come after you use the words
"because" or "but."
2. Soften into Relief. Look at your limiting beliefs and ask yourself what
thought you could choose instead of which would offer you relief. Are there
any people in the world who have found happiness in life after divorce? Can
you see yourself as in the process of being one of them? Write down a
gentler thought that starts to turn your boat downstream.
3. Collect your evidence. Keep a list of all the positive people,
circumstances, and situations you start to encounter and celebrate your role
in attracting them to you.
4. Take a Spiritual Vitamin. Give yourself a daily dose of gratitude by
writing at least 10 things for which you are grateful.
About the Author:
Carolyn B. Ellis is the founder of Thrive After Divorce, Inc. A Harvard
University graduate, Carolyn is a Certified Master Integrative CoachT,
Teleclass Leader, and the first Canadian to be certified as a Spiritual
Divorce Coach. She has also served as a Staff Coach at the Institute for
Integrative Coaching at John F. Kennedy University in San Francisco, CA, and
has been trained personally by its founder, New York Times best-selling
author Debbie Ford. Her book, "The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to
Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive after Divorce," was published in 2007.
She is a member of Collaborative Practice Toronto. Her three amazing
school-age children and bouncy labradoodle dog are her daily sources of
inspiration and joy.
Check out the Experts page for Carolyn Ellis, the Official SelfGrowth.com
Guide to Divorce: http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/carolyn_ellis.html
----------------------------------------------------
*** Article: Anger and the American Family: 3 Steps to Diffuse Family Anger
by Changing Your Inner Conversations - By Dr. Tony Fiore ***
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Case #1: Jeanette and Tom had been married 15 years. Wanting to surprise him
for his birthday, Jeanette, with her own money, bought Tom a big-screen LCD
television.
Tom's reaction? He instantly blew up and berated Jeanette for spending so
much money -- buying more television than they needed, a bigger model than
they had previously looked at together.
Jeanette was dumbfounded at Tom's reaction; she truly thought this would be
a gift that would greatly please him.
Case #2: Jim was having a friendly beer with his brother-in-law Jack when
the discussion turned to Jack's success in life. Wanting to compliment him,
Jim commented on how far he had come, how proud of himself he must be, and
how much he is an inspiration to others, given his background with alcoholic
and dysfunctional parents.
Rather than seeing this as a compliment, however, Jack became offended and
angry. He berated Jim for "putting him down," as he interpreted Jim's
comment.
* Views cause anger
As these examples clearly show, people are not disturbed by things or
events, but by their view of them, as Epictetusan -- a Greek philosopher --
observed early in the 2nd century.
When an upsetting family event occurs, you have a choice of how you are
going to explain it to yourself -- what you are going to tell yourself about
it. This will influence how angry, stressed, or upset you become over the
event.
Learning to change what you tell yourself -- your self-talk -- can break the
cycle of negativity that can often poison our minds when we get angry. We
all have "scripts" in our minds that tell us messages and stories about
family members and how they behave.
Tom, who exploded when his loving wife bought him a new television, was
telling himself things like: she has such poor judgment, buying a bigger TV
than we need; there she goes again, spending money excessively; why can't
she ever do what I want her to do? Why did I marry such a woman?
Of course, none of these things made any sense to Tom once he cooled down
and became his rational self again. But, at the moment of anger explosion,
Tom's self-statements seemed 100% true to him.
Jack, who became offended at being congratulated for overcoming his past,
was actually having the following conversation in his head: he is putting me
down because I had alcoholic parents; he is saying I am not capable of being
successful on my own instead of "overcoming" something in my past; he is
mocking me because of how I grew up.
No wonder he became so upset at Jim's innocent attempt at a compliment. Like
many of us, Jack was responding to his perspective of what was being
communicated -- not Jim's.
* Changing your self-talk
The next time anger threatens to spoil a family event, try these simple
steps:
Step 1: Retreat and think things over. Never respond immediately to a family
anger or stress trigger. Give your body and your mind a chance to calm down
so you can think rationally. Research shows this may take at least 20
minutes.
Step 2: Examine the evidence. The most convincing way of disputing negative
self-talk toward a family member is to show yourself it is factually
incorrect. Do not lie to yourself, but -- like a detective -- simply and
honestly look at all the evidence at hand.
For instance, calm Tom remembered that his wife was excellent with money and
rarely overspent. Jack remembered that Jim never disparaged him and, in
fact, had always supported him throughout the years of their friendship.
Step 3: Find a more positive and useful way of interpreting the behavior of
family members. Tom was finally able to see his wife's buying behavior as a
sign of love and caring for him, rather than trying to hurt him or cause
stress. Jack was eventually capable of seeing that Jim was truly trying to
compliment him and that he truly saw Jack as someone to be admired because
of how far he had come in life.
About the Author:
Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His
company, The Anger Coach, provides classes, products, and resources for
adults, couples, the workplace, and professionals. He is co-author of "Anger
Management for the Twenty-First Century" and regularly publishes a free
newsletter, "Taming the Anger Bee." Visit
http://www.angercoach.com
Check out the Experts page for Tony Fiore:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/tony_fiore.html
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*** Book Review: The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be
Your Guide - By Esther and Jerry Hicks ***
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This leading-edge book by Esther and Jerry Hicks, who present the teachings
of the Non-Physical entity Abraham, will help you understand the emotions
that you've been experiencing all of your life. Instead of the
out-of-control, knee-jerk reactions that most people have to their
ever-changing life experience, this work will put those responses into a
broader context. You'll come to understand what emotions are, what each of
them means, and how to effectively utilize your new awareness of them.
As you read, you'll come to appreciate, and make peace with, where you are
right now, even though there is so much more that you may desire. Every
thought you absorb will bring you to a greater understanding of your own
personal value and will show you how to open your own doors to whatever you
may wish to be, do, or have. And as you turn the last page of this book, you
will very likely find yourself thinking, "I have always known this, but now,
I KNOW this!"
*****
The list price of this book is $24.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for
$14.97, a 40% discount, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1401912451/selfimprovemeonlA/
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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:
* Teen helps free woman from car seconds before 2 trains hit *
A Chicago-area teen is being hailed as a hero after he and two friends
pulled an elderly woman from a car stuck on train tracks just seconds before
it was demolished by two trains. Thomas Foust was driving behind the woman
Saturday night in the northern Chicago suburb of Glenview, Illinois, when
her car turned onto the tracks and stopped. (Click here for complete news
story)
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/10/teen.hero/index.html#cnnSTCText
* Fire Department dog wins national award *
The dog days of summer weren't so bad for Ranger the yellow Lab. The
8-year-old Shreveport Fire Department canine recently was named the American
Kennel Club's 2007 service dog of the year. "I can't say he doesn't deserve
it," said Ranger's trainer and owner, Capt. Kerry Foster. And that's why he
nominated "his baby," whose coat is a few shades lighter than Lucille Ball's
red locks. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070910/NEWS01/709100306
* 450 hope to save the life of Pequannock girl, 12: Donate bone marrow to
cancer patient *
A call for help was sounded and nearly 450 Pequannock residents answered on
Saturday, hoping that a quick swab of their inner cheek could save a local
girl's life. Friends, acquaintances and strangers participated in a bone
marrow drive at Pequannock Valley Middle School in honor of 12-year-old
Traci Fox, one of two Pequannock children who recently was diagnosed with
leukemia. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.dailyrecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070909/COMMUNITIES39/709090349
** For more positive news, please visit
http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html
Other:
* Retired N.J. couple latest winners to surface in $330M jackpot *
A disabled veteran let his wife sleep in after learning they will share a
multimillion lottery prize. Then he bought himself a new pair of pants.
"It's amazing what can happen when you stop to pick up a newspaper and a few
tickets," John Belawsky said Friday when he and his wife, Sandra, were
introduced among the latest winners in the multistate game. (Click here for
complete news story)
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/newjersey/ny-bc-nj--megamillionswinne0907sep07,0,4325572.story
* FDA considers nutrition symbols on food labels: Agency to decide if
clearer data would improve shopping choices *
Federal health officials on Monday considered whether adding symbols with
nutrition information to food labels, like a traffic light system used in
Britain, might help shoppers make healthier food choices. The Food and Drug
Administration opened a two-day meeting to collect comments from food
companies, trade groups, watchdog organizations, medical experts and its
overseas counterparts on the topic. Any action is likely years away. (Click
here for complete news story) http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20689762/
* Grim Grades on Clean Hands Report Card: Students Nearly Flunk Clean Hands
Quiz; Parents, Teachers Have Room for Improvement *
America's school kids, their parents, and their teachers might need to brush
up on their hand hygiene, according to the 2007 "Clean Hands Report Card."
The report card, issued by the Soap and Detergent Association (SDA), comes
before this year's cold and flu season starts -- so it's not too late to
upgrade your hand-washing habits to help prevent the spread of cold and flu
germs. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20070907/grim-grades-on-clean-hands-report-card