Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 471, September 18-19, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 471, September 18-19, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 471, Week of
September 18-19, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: C Stands for Different - By Lynn M. Scheurell
-- Article: Can We Gain Listening Wisdom from an Owl? - By Dan Ohler
-- Book Review: Building Personal Leadership: Inspirational Tools & Techniques
for Work & Life - By Joe Farcht
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers - 260,623 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the
end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality
over character. - W. Somerset Maugham, 1874-1965, British Novelist and
Playwright
Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon or star. -
Confucius, 551-479 B.C., Chinese Thinker and Social Philosopher
If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most
important and then give it all you've got. - Lee Iacocca, American Industrialist
and Automobile Executive
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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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* Gimundo Newsletter *
Filled with positive news stories about heroes, health, the environment, and
ways to help the world, along with a regular sampling of fun videos and
other surprises, the Gimundo newsletter is sure to brighten your spirits at
the start of every day. Click to continue:
http://news.gimundo.com/3/3/5/543
** How to Add a Description of Your Website Here **
If you want to share information about your website, your business or your
book in our newsletter, please go to the following webpage and fill out the
form. Visit our website at
http://www.selfgrowth.com/form-ad-newsletter.html
----------------------------------------------------
*** Article: C Stands for Different - By Lynn M. Scheurell ***
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By Webster's Dictionary definition, a catalyst is something that provokes
significant action. That's what I do -- I provoke my clients to think and
act differently in their lives for greater fulfillment. After all, we have
to do different to get different.
It is my intention that you find something thought-provoking enough to do
something different in your own life.
Connection
Connection happens on two levels. First is connection with the self in an
essential sense of center that's unshakable by external events. The second
is connection with others for community.
Creativity
When creativity is open, it's delicious to explore the unseen -- what's
around your next corner. By being curious, receptive, and initiating
questions or actions, you can play with infinite possibilities.
Clarity
By reducing the "noise" in your head, your being, thinking, and doing become
crystallized. Decisions are easier, right action is smoother, communications
and relationships are cleaner -- and your calendar becomes focused.
Considerations
Life is full of considerations, some of which are necessary. However, it is
important to recognize which are real. It is important to not tolerate the
unnecessary. Compromise only when it's meaningful.
Courage
There are times when situations require us to confront things that make us
uncomfortable or even afraid. Until we pass through it, we do not learn our
lessons. Having the courage to face it gives us the ability to move forward.
Confidence
When you are comfortable in who you are, you naturally make choices that
support your knowingness and demonstrate trust in who/where you are. It's a
powerful magnet to attracting more of what you want.
Contribution
It is in giving that we grow, by sharing what we have that we increase our
own capacities. Giving back where we can creates good karma.
Collaboration
Building by partnership/teamwork creates a synergy that otherwise wouldn't
exist. When two or more people are gathered in focus, great things are
created and achieved.
Celebration
Honoring what has happened in celebration feels good. It is a timeless
ritual to acknowledge hard work and mark a milestone or an ending. Without
celebration, we may not know that we are moving into a new beginning.
Circle Back
Review the lessons learned to see if you've missed anything, or if you can
use something previously discarded in a new way. Circling back allows you to
express appreciation for both the people who have been touched by your
learning journey and your progress.
Compassion
Through compassion for others, we acknowledge our oneness. While we are all
at different places on our respective journeys, the destination is the same.
Conviction
As long as you are in alignment with your higher self, believing in what you
know to be true for you is the backbone to good decisions, personal
leadership, accountability, and good health.
Communication
Speak your truth clearly, concisely, and honestly. You can avoid about 80%
of problems with other people by having good communication skills. You can
resolve 100% of your personal challenges by being honest with yourself.
Control
Control means doing what you can and releasing whatever you just did; it has
to go do/be whatever you have given it life to do. Control is a superficial
illusion, attempting to force situations, people, or things to fit -- it's
like trying to push a river. Being in flow means recognizing that there is
no control.
Common Sense
Maybe this should be "un"-common sense... common sense comes from everyday
living. If something makes sense to you, do it. However, just because
somebody else does it a certain way doesn't mean that it makes the best
sense for you.
If any one of these resonated with you on some level, that's an indicator of
where you can start in doing something different. If more than one hit a
nerve, start with the first one.
You will notice that people and situations around you will change -- be
alert. Watch for synchronicities and pay attention to how you feel -- that's
the best measure of your success in being different.
About the Author:
Lynn Scheurell's life focus is facilitating positive transformation in the
lives she touches, including hundreds of personal clients. For nearly 20
years she has maintained "side businesses" in areas of true passion --
mainly because she thought she "had to have a corporate job." In hindsight,
Lynn was ahead of convention as an entrepreneur, creating a broad foundation
in a variety of industries, working with countless distinct personalities,
and living the art of change. From dude ranch to ballroom dancer to
corporate executive to feng shui practitioner, she's mastered the art of
living in the flow. From deep experience, Lynn understands the complexity
and rewards of living by one's own compass. Her company, Creative Catalyst,
is a leader in initiating change via feng shui and intuitve coaching for
independent professionals and business owners throughout the United States
and select clients in other countries. You can reach her at
http://www.MyCreativeCatalyst.com
Check out the Experts page for Lynn Scheurell, the Official SelfGrowth.com
Guide to Purpose of Life:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/lynn_scheurell.html
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*** Article: Can We Gain Listening Wisdom from an Owl? - By Dan Ohler ***
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"There was an old owl who sat in an oak.
The more he watched; the less he spoke.
The less he spoke; the more he heard.
Why can't we be like that wise old bird?"
That's an interesting hoot that deserves some pondering.
One of the biggest causes of stressed or broken relationships is ineffective
communication. Both people speak, but nobody sits quietly, watches, and
listens.
"He (or she) just doesn't listen to me!"
In our business, we hear this frequently about husbands, wives, children,
bosses, clients, and colleagues. This seems to be particularly true when
there are disagreements or conflict. In "The Couples' Comfort Book," author
Jennifer Louden says, "When in conflict, people listen for a maximum of 14
seconds."
What occurs then?
When the listening stops, here are some things that begin: interrupting,
yelling, ignoring, escaping, cowering, probing, and preaching.
Is it possible this "lack of listening" is the reason for the disagreement,
misunderstanding, and conflict?
I think so, and I believe this "lack of listening" phenomenon occurs far
more regularly in our relationships than most of us would care to admit,
whether there is conflict or not.
As I strive to become more consciously aware of my thinking, speaking, and
behavioral habits, I see it in myself. How do I know this?
* My mother-in-law recently stayed with us for a week. Immediately after
several different conversations, I realized I couldn't recall exactly what
she just said. My mind was wandering elsewhere. Hmmm!
* A client was explaining something to me about his business, and I assumed
I knew what he thought and felt. In reality, I found later that I had no
flippin' idea. A mind-reader I am not.
* I interrupted my son, Jamie, before he was finished speaking. I was going
to fix it for him, or defer to my own autobiographical story.
* Carol was explaining something to me, and I became aware that I already
had a rebuttal formed to prove that I was right and she was wrong, and yet I
hadn't listened effectively, or asked for clarification to totally
understand her perspective.
Am I afflicted with an extremely bad case of psychological defection (please
humor me!), or do similar things occur for you?
I believe comparable situations are why many conversations seem to go round
and around, tempers flare, feelings get hurt, and directions get
misconstrued -- neither person has actually listened to understand.
Maybe this is "normal" in society. However, when I look at statistics on
marital breakdown, family violence, employee retention and satisfaction,
workplace stress, and mediation battles, it helps me to recognize that I
don't want to be "normal." I'd rather be different -- stand out on a
positive, effective limb, like the owl.
Here are my easy "observant-owl" strategies, and I challenge you to apply
these too. Naturally, it's your choice, just as it is mine.
* Attention - focus on the other person. Set aside all other thoughts and
actions. Avoid distractions: other people or conversations, nearby
activities, phone calls, e-mails, TV, music.
* Connection - pace, or match to build greater rapport and trust. Make eye
contact, notice facial expressions, eye movement, breathing rate, other body
language, and then match these. I'm not meaning you should imitate him/her.
Sit in a similar way (not exactly the same), match their breathing rate,
smile when they smile, etc. When you are subtle with this, they feel
comfortable speaking with you because you are "just like them."
* Listen - to understand the words and the associated feelings. Ask for
clarification on anything you don't totally understand. It is not important
that you agree; it is vitally important to understand.
* Wait - allow silence. When the other person ends his/her statement, wait
and count -- one wise old owl, two wise old owls, three wise old owls... The
silence is golden and indicates to the other person that you care about
him/her, and want to ensure they have completed what they wanted to say.
* Think - in this silence-time, ponder on your understanding of the
conversation, and formulate your thoughts proactively, rather than
reactively.
* Reply respectfully - either with clarifying questions or with your own
wise thoughts. Use inclusive, engaging statements such as, "Yes, and I
feel...," "I respect your opinion and I see that...," "I hear what you are
saying and..." Avoid "No," "But," "You're wrong," "That's stupid," or any
other statement that sets up invisible walls of defense or separation.
* Verbalize your complete thought and repeat the cycle.
When I give the other person this "psychological air-time" (it is a gift),
and really listen to understand, they will usually return the gift to me.
They may not be consciously aware of the process. They will feel valued and
respected. It's a win/win conversation.
I believe that every person has exceptional knowledge and wisdom, and most
people are happy to share their expertise with others, when someone will
listen. I continue to learn so many valuable things from others when I close
my mouth and open my eyes, ears, and heart.
I have finally learned that I am not the "king of the beasts." I do realize
that I am an important and valuable member of this forest community -- where
cooperativeness, helpfulness, respect, and love will help us all to survive
and thrive.
You are a member of the community too. What are joy and happiness worth to
you?
If you want to eliminate or minimize arguments, sarcasm, disrespect, anger,
resentment, and heartache, these easy "observant-owl" strategies will work
for you too. I guarantee it is worth the effort.
I'm investing more of my time perched on a good sturdy branch, watching,
listening, and learning. I'd be honored to have you join me, and there is an
abundance of room.
Copyright C 2007
Dan Ohler is Thinkin' Outside The Barn!
Visit
http://www.ThinkinOutsideTheBarn.com for FREE how-you-can-do-it-too
articles. You can see Dan in action, or order your copy of "Thinkin' Outside
The Barn And Steppin' Into Fresh B.S." while you're there! Check out "101
Great Ways to Improve Your Life" too, the new book that Dan co-authored
along with Ken Blanchard, Les Brown, Mark Victor Hansen, Byron Katie, and
many other leading Self Improvement experts.
About the Author:
Dan Ohler writes and speaks internationally on relationships, happiness, and
change. Through Dan's insights and humor, you learn to apply the basics of
human psychology -- the natural laws that create life-long flourishing
relationships and abounding success.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Book Review: Building Personal Leadership: Inspirational Tools &
Techniques for Work & Life - By Joe Farcht ***
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"Building Personal Leadership" is a positive, uplifting, business
competency-building resource and self-development book. It contains a
treasury of tools and techniques to help people in business management and
interested individuals to rapidly develop exceptional personal leadership
skills in their work and life. All work skills become dulled with use and
the constant demand of achieving business results. Reading one chapter a
week and applying insights to how you work, live, and lead will rapidly
improve your effectiveness, productivity, and personal leadership.
If you supervise people, lead a book study to help your team become more
effective and productive. Sharpening the saw will help you work smarter, not
harder. With sharpened personal leadership skills, you will be able to
accelerate the realization of your wants and dreams. The wisdom contained in
this book will revolutionize your life if you are willing to absorb and
apply its lessons.
Learn more about Joe Farcht, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Leadership
Skills, at
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/joe_farcht.html
*****
The list price of this book is $17.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for
$12.21, a 32% discount, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1600371655/selfimprovemeonlA/
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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:
* Comedian Will Ferrell Holds Auction for Friend's Charity: Opening Bids
Start At $5,000 *
Will Ferrell is auctioning a cameo spot in his new movie to raise money for
a fraternity brother's cancer foundation. Ferrell came up with the idea to
help Craig Pollard's Cancer for College foundation. The two were fraternity
brothers at the University of Southern California. (Click here for complete
news story)
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=entertainment&id=5659548
* SOCH gets 32 beds through donation from OceanFirst *
The OceanFirst Foundation's three-year, $300,000 pledge to help bring new
beds to Southern Ocean County Hospital has been fulfilled. The foundation, a
charitable arm of OceanFirst Bank, made its final $100,000 payment to the
hospital this month. The money helped add 32 beds to a new telemetry unit.
(Click here for complete news story)
http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070917/NEWS02/709170353
* Surfer Rescues Dog Swept Off Mich. Pier: Surfer Rides Wave on His Stomach
to Rescue Struggling Dog Swept Off Lake Michigan Pier *
A surfer rode a wave on his stomach to rescue a struggling dog that had been
swept off a pier and into Lake Michigan by a wave. Matt Smolenski, 25, said
he grabbed the pooch's collar just as the exhausted, black-and-brown mixed
breed stopped dog-paddling on Tuesday. (Click here for complete news story)
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=3592378
** For more positive news, please visit
http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html
Other:
* Family meals may have lasting impact on kids' diets *
Teenagers who sit down to meals with their families may have healthier diets
as adults, according to a new study. The findings, say researchers, point up
the importance of the traditional family dinner -- something that has fallen
by the wayside in an age of hectic schedules and take-out food. (Click here
for complete news story)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/family_meals_dc;_ylt=Al4jCsDtJLML8duHo564_ewer7sF
* Stinky? It's not his sweat, it's your nose *
When it comes to a man's body odor, the fragrance -- or stench -- is in the
nose of the beholder, according to U.S. researchers who suggest a single
gene may determine how people perceive body odor. The study, published
online on Sunday in the journal Nature, helps explain why the same sweaty
man can smell like vanilla to some, like urine to others and for about a
third of adults, have no smell at all. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUSN1522717720070916
* 'Sopranos,' '30 Rock' claim series Emmys: Spader, Ferrera, Field, Gervais
win acting honors *
Gone but not forgotten by voters, "The Sopranos" claimed its final Emmy as
best dramatic series. Winners in other top categories were scattered across
the prime time landscape like the bodies of the show's fallen characters
across New Jersey. A stunned James Spader felt like he just "stole a pile of
money from the mob" in winning best drama series actor as a devilish lawyer
on "Boston Legal" at Sunday night's ceremony. And Sally Field was her
flustered self as winner of best actress in a drama for her matriarchal role
in "Brothers & Sisters." (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20809105/