Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 481, November 27-28, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 481, November 27-28, 2007
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement and Personal
Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 481, Week of November 27-28, 2007
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article: Your Anger and How to Get Out of It -- Guilt Free! - By Wouter van
der Hall
-- Article: Setting Intentions for Great Intimacy - By Karinna Kittles-Karsten
-- Book Review: Three Minute Therapy: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life -
By Michael R. Edelstein, Ph.D. with David Ramsay Steele, Ph.D.
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers - 262,586 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the
end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. - Ralph Waldo
Emerson, 1803-1882, American Poet and Essayist
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. - Samuel Johnson,
1709-1784, English Author and Critic
You've got to say, "I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly
enough I can have it." It's called perseverance. - Lee Iacocca, American
Industrialist and Automobile Executive
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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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*** Article: Your Anger and How to Get Out of It -- Guilt Free! - By Wouter van
der Hall ***
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Are you ever angry at your kids?
I came home, tired, frustrated. My daughter was dancing, the music in the living
room a few thousand decibels too loud. My wife was upstairs working and didn't
hear me come in. My daughter gave me a look. I yelled, "Turn down the music!"
She gave me another look. And I became very angry in a flash.
Does that sound like something you recognize? Well, in each our own way, most of
us can. We all get angry, become unreasonable at times. And whether it takes a
minute, an hour, a day, or years, most us will recognize that that was not very
fair and feel guilty.
When you are under consistent stress and pressure, the moments that this happens
can become more regular and more intense. They sure did with me.
What made it really clear was when my daughter gave me a different look. One
that said you are always so angry. I get scared. I don't like this. My wife gave
me a look that confirmed my increased anger.
I did the four things that any one of us can do when this happens.
1. I recognized it was about me. It was for me to deal with my own anger. I
decided to stop myself from pointing the finger at all the things they needed to
do differently. I started to own my own feelings and take responsibility for
them.
2. I apologized to both my daughter and wife. I said that it was not how I
wanted to be with them. That I was going to change it. That I might need their
help to remind me when I step into that old pattern of dealing with my own
issues -- stress and anger.
3. I changed my behavior. Step by step. I looked at what triggered my anger.
I looked for what made me tired and frustrated when I walked into the door those
evenings. I needed to change that. In me. In how I dealt with that. I realized
that it wouldn't change in one big sweep. That I would have moments of relapse
that I needed to be kind with myself for.
4. I ask for their help. We came up with that they could signal me, by saying an
agreed upon sentence; that would stop me in my tracks. I would stop talking and
go to another room to cool off. We agreed that they would give me 15 minutes to
change when I came home, have a shower, a cup of tea, whatever I needed then,
and let me be.
And yes, my daughter would turn down the music, so she wouldn't trigger me
unnecessarily.
We agreed on positive, fun things we could do together. By talking about how my
anger affected them, we also arrived at how we really wanted to be together as a
family. And we made some small plans to do fun stuff. And together we turned it
around.
And how about the guilt I felt? Guilt is energy wasted on yourself and not used
to make things better with another, whether it is giving gifts, showing endless
feelings of remorse, or trying to get them to say that they have forgiven you.
When it is driven from guilt, it is not about them; it is about getting
something for you. A reduced sentence, less pain. Anything coming from guilt is
not a free gift. It has strings attached that serve you, not the other.
Part of owning your own feelings is dealing with your feelings of guilt.
When you recognize that they don't help you or them, just let them go. Focus on
your action to change your behavior. And do something fun.
Just because you want to. With the people you love.
About the Author:
Wouter van der Hall, author of The Parent Program, has worked in Child Welfare
for decades, in Europe and North America. He uses his experience and diverse
education to provide parents with easily accessible tools, skills, and
knowledge, to help them be the great parent they can be so their kids can
flourish as they want them to.
Wouter combines his traditional social work education (BSW and MSW Management
Education and Coaching) with the tools the business world pays big bucks for. He
is a certified The Human Element, Myers Briggs Type Indicator, and True Colors
trainer.
He had many (leadership) roles in Child Welfare, taught social work both in
Amsterdam and in Canada, but it was as a management consultant that he truly saw
how all parents want to be their best for their kids. His trainees, from
executives to road crew foremen, ran home to use the tools he gave them for more
open communication and better conflict resolution with their families.
He refocused on his lifelong passion for children and families and now dedicates
himself full time to making these tools and skills accessible to parents
worldwide.
He has been fortunate to travel far and wide and has seen parents poor and rich,
educated and illiterate, all try to make things better for their children. He
dedicates his work to these millions of parents. You can reach Wouter at
wouter@theparentprogram.com
and http://www.theparentprogram.com
Check out the Experts page for Wouter van der Hall, the Official SelfGrowth.com
Guide to Parenting:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/wouter_van_der_hall.html
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*** Article: Setting Intentions for Great Intimacy - By Karinna Kittles-Karsten
***
----------------------------------------------------
Are you ready to experience a great love life?
Great intimacy consists of a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual
connection shared between two people who both desire and are willing and capable
of being great lovers to each other. If you are ready to have such a
relationship, then this is a perfect time to set your intentions for having a
great love life.
If You Are Single:
It is important to know what you want physically, emotionally, mentally, and
spiritually in a partner so that you can easily identify the right one for you.
Set your intentions to attract your right partner based on your feelings.
For instance, your intention may be to have a passionate and meaningful sexual
relationship, an easy, emotionally communicative relationship, and/or a strong
spiritual relationship sharing your own beliefs, rituals, and practices
together.
Also, include your personal intentions for growing as the right partner for a
great intimate relationship. Your personal intentions can include more humor, a
greater ability to be honest and honor your needs, to feel more confidence with
your physical body, and/or to have more fun with your sexual expression.
If You Are in a Relationship:
Intentions can be made on your own, but they can be even more valuable to your
relationship if they are made with your partner. Talk about what you would like
to enhance in your relationship together.
For instance:
* Do you want to create more quality, intimate time with your lover?
* Would you like to have more romance or more dates with your lover?
* Do you want to have better, more exciting, and/or more frequent sexual
intimacy?
* Do you want to create a spiritual relationship with your lover?
* What else would you add to these intentions?
* What areas in you need to be developed to make your intentions for a
relationship happen?
Make your intentions and then make them a reality!
About the Author:
Karinna Kittles-Karsten, The Love Educator, is an internationally recognized
relationship expert and founder of Sacred Love Inc. Her unique Eastern and
Western approach to intimacy has helped people transform their love lives across
the world.
Karinna has been featured in countless national and international TV, radio, and
magazine interviews including on NBC's "Starting Over" and in Self Magazine.
*****
Discover more of Karinna Kittles-Karsten's intimacy tips in her latest book,
"Intimate Wisdom: The Sacred Art of Love"...
This book takes you on a journey, of first finding love within yourself,
boosting your positive energy, and helping you claim the courage to love
another. Next, you will be led to overcome the challenges of love to create your
best partnership. And finally, you will discover the intimate love-making arts
to foster deeper intimacy and intensify physical pleasure.
"Intimate Wisdom" guides you along a sacred adventure to create a relationship
that's emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually fulfilling.
Leading experts have endorsed "Intimate Wisdom," including:
Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" and PBS
expert, writes, "'Intimate Wisdom' is uplifting, sensual and inspiring."
Peggy McColl, New York Times best-selling author of "Your Destiny Switch,"
writes, "In 'Intimate Wisdom: The Sacred Art of Love,' Karinna has provided the
ultimate guide to reveal how to express and experience love at the deepest
level."
Mantak Chia, author of "The Multi-Orgasmic Couple," writes, "If you are ready to
discover how the time-honored love secrets of the East can create a profoundly
positive effect on your love life, read this book. 'Intimate Wisdom' is sure to
add great health, pleasure, and meaning to your love life."
*****
Learn more about Karinna's special Celebration of Love offer for the release of
her new book, "Intimate Wisdom." She has partnered with acclaimed Self Help
Experts and top LOHAS businesses to bring you many incredible, valuable gifts
for the holidays when you invest in a copy of this new classic relationship
book. Go to
http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/karinna.html
The list price of this book is $20.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com, go
directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0595419577/selfimprovemeonlA/
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*** Book Review: Three Minute Therapy: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life -
By Michael R. Edelstein, Ph.D. with David Ramsay Steele, Ph.D. ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Having read many other books about CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and REBT,
I can say with authority that Dr. Edelstein and Dr. Steele's book offers
something new to those of us who haven't quite "gotten it" until now.
Can I help myself with MY insurmountable problems in three-minute increments?
Well, after only a few days with his book, I am buoyed and optimistic, and with
good reason! Prior to ordering this book I was well on my way to becoming a
recluse! After reading the book and doing only 4 three-minute exercises, I see
my perceived "horrors" are being replaced with garden-variety frustrations and
strong preferences. I am working through my aforementioned "insurmountable"
problems and realizing they are not insurmountable at all! Unbelievable that I
am getting this much ACTUAL help from a book!
If all this wasn't enough, I emailed Dr. Edelstein to thank him for writing his
book, and he emailed me right back! I had included a bit of personal information
about myself, and he actually provided a few more specific helpful ideas for me
personally! Talk about a guy who loves his work! Here is an author who is 110%
committed to providing people with valuable tools for dismantling our
self-defeating and seemingly destructive ways. If you are confused and don't
know what to do, BUY THIS BOOK. --Patti Bergin (Portland, OR)
The list price of this book is $21.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for
$14.93, a 32% discount, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0944435424/selfimprovemeonlA/
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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:
* Web site aims to help 'sandwich generation': Caring.com covers financial,
housing, other end-of-life issues *
Adults with aging parents have a new resource for advice and information -- a
Web site unveiled on Monday for people who provide care for elderly relatives.
Backed by $6 million in venture and tested by 2,000 users, Caring.com targets
the roughly 34 million adults providing personal aid, financial assistance, or
both, to an older family member. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21884849/
* Larry King, Cardiac Crusader: CNN Star and Wife Discuss His Heart History and
Their Heart Disease Foundation *
Twenty years ago, longtime CNN star talk show host Larry King had his first
heart attack. It turned the host of "Larry King Live" from a heavy smoker into a
health fanatic, and inspired him to create the Larry King Cardiac Foundation.
His wife, Shawn King, is the foundation's chairwoman, and both visited The Early
Show on Monday, Larry's 74th birthday. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/19/earlyshow/leisure/celebspot/main3520252.shtml
* Mexico Funds Will Protect Butterflies: Mexico Earmarks $4.6 Million for
Butterfly Reserve in Bid to Boost Tourism, Curb Logging *
President Felipe Calderon unveiled a sweeping plan Sunday to curb logging and
protect millions of monarch butterflies that migrate to the mountains of central
Mexico each winter, covering trees and bushes and attracting visitors from
around the world. The plan will put $4.6 million toward additional equipment and
advertising for the existing Monarch Butterfly Biosphere Reserve, covering a
124,000-acre swathe of trees and mountains that for thousands of years has
served as the winter nesting ground to millions of orange- and black-winged
monarch butterflies. (Click here for complete news story)
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=3911242
** For more positive news, please visit
http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html
Other:
* Study: Kids will eat healthy school food *
Maybe getting schoolchildren to eat healthy foods isn't a hopeless struggle.
Bucking some common notions, a University of Minnesota study has found that
school lunch sales don't decline when healthier meals are served, and that more
nutritious lunches don't necessarily cost schools more to produce. "The
conventional wisdom that you can't serve healthier meals because kids won't eat
them is false," said Benjamin Senauer, one of three economists who wrote the
study. (Click here for complete news story)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071125/ap_on_he_me/diet_school_lunches;_ylt=AlyUrfl5ESiPfgQ9f6Vmz9Os0NUE
* Monstrous class sizes unavoidable at colleges: Nobel Prize-winning prof calls
for reform, says huge classes cause damage *
On weekday mornings, the Cristol Chemistry Building at the University of
Colorado is a hive of activity. Every hour, hundreds of laptop-toting students
file in and out of its theater-style lecture halls, where classes are scheduled
back to back. In all, there are 33 courses at Colorado with 400 students or
more. Three have more than 1,200. Most are broken into sections, but even those
may have hundreds of students. One chemistry course is so big that the only
place on campus where everyone can take the final exam at once is the Coors
Event Center, Colorado's basketball arena. (Click here for complete news story)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21951104/
* Rotary, Gates give funds to fight polio *
The global campaign to wipe out polio is getting a $200 million donation from
Rotary International and the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, at a time when
some worry the effort will fail in the final stages. Monday's announcement by
both organizations came after nearly two decades of work against polio, an
infectious disease that can paralyze and sometimes kill.
(Click here for complete news story)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071126/ap_on_re_eu/polio_donation;_ylt=AioAvq3Lyf.Orxp2oPPU9bis0NUE