Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 500, April 8-9, 2008
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!Please Visit Our Sponsors
Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 500, April 8-9, 2008
FREE Self
Improvement Newsletter, Click here!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
* Self Improvement
and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 500, Week of April 8-9, 2008
Publisher: David Riklan -
http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes
of the Week
-- Personal Growth Products and Services
-- Article:
A Simple Formula to Keep Love and
Intimacy Alive - By Dr. Richard Nicastro
-- Article: How to Achieve Your Goal This Spring:
Start Your Book, Launch Your Business, Lose That Weight - By Monica Carter
Tagore
-- Book Review: Who Do You Think You Are?
Discover the Purpose of Your Life - By Keith Leon
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current
Subscribers - 265,742 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations. - Jean Paul Richter, 1763-1825, German Novelist
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. - Mother Teresa, 1910-1997, Albanian-born Humanitarian and Missionary
Being an optimist after
you've got everything you want doesn't count. - Kin Hubbard, 1868-1930, American
Journalist/Humorist/Cartoonist
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*** Personal Growth Products and Services ***
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~~ A NEW BEGINNING ~~
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* Anthony Robbins "Sacred Blessings" New Release *
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* Is the ADHD "Epidemic" Real? *
Our National Institutes of Health estimates that as many as 20 percent of children suffer from the syndrome. And by some estimates, approximately 30-70 percent of children who manifest symptoms of ADHD will continue to do so into adulthood. But did you know, before World War II, ADHD did not exist at all? To learn more, click on the link below... http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/alsearsmd1.html
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* Free Meditation/Self-Hypnosis Resources *
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BUSINESSMAN'S PART-TIME
INCOME ECLIPSES SUCCESSFUL CAREER
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* Madonna and Forbes Magazine Agree *
There is a power in the Universe and anyone can tap into it to Attract Love, Money, and Overcome all Obstacles. Madonna features this in her videos and Forbes Magazine just wrote about it. Learn about it here: http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/fingerhealing.html
** How to Add a Description of Your Website Here **
If you want to share information about your website, your business or your book in our newsletter, please go to the following webpage and fill out the form. Visit our website at http://www.selfgrowth.com/form-ad-newsletter.html
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*** Article: A Simple Formula to Keep Love and Intimacy Alive - By Dr. Richard
Nicastro ***
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I bet if I asked you what you had for breakfast this morning, you'd have a concrete answer. (Even if the answer is "Black coffee" or "Didn't have time.")
But how about if I ask you to recall something arguably more important than a single morning meal? Let's see how you fare:
In what specific way did you make your partner feel important today? Hmmm?
You didn't think of it? Okay, one missed opportunity might not be a big deal. How did you make your significant other feel special yesterday? What's that? You were too busy. I totally understand -- when the workday ends, you have to juggle the kids' itineraries: soccer, music lessons, math tutor. Not to mention putting food on the table. Gotcha.
So reach back into the recesses of your memory. What did you do to openly communicate how important your partner or spouse is to you last week? Last month?
I'm sure you get my point. But it's a point that needs stating anyway, since it applies to each and every one of us:
Your marriage or relationship needs continual nurturing in order to remain healthy.
Gardening is an apropos analogy: consistent care (watering, weeding, and pruning) is needed for your garden to flourish. Can you imagine what your rose garden would look like after ignoring it for several weeks?
* Formula for Love and Intimacy
One of the most effective ways to keep love alive and deepen intimacy is to find ways to make your spouse or partner feel cared for and important.
* You and your partner + messages of appreciation = Lasting Love
Here's the best part: you can make your partner feel important in as little time as it takes to comb your hair.
Typically, when we talk to our mates, we tend to focus on the things that have to be done. ("Are you picking Tobey up from karate, or am I?" "Did you mail the mortgage payment?") And in general, we also naturally tend to point out things that need fixing. ("Waiter, I asked for the hollandaise on the side...my eggs are drowning in it.") But how often do we take the tiny amount of time to regularly articulate the things that work?
All too often, when things are running smoothly, we begin to neglect what works in our marriages or relationships. The cost of this neglect: you and your partner begin to feel unappreciated, emotional intimacy between you dwindles, sex becomes rote and mechanical. People often rationalize that it isn't so bad living in a chronic state of disconnection from their loved one (after all, most of the couples you know don't seem happy either). Some look to people outside of the relationship to make them feel special and appreciated. It shouldn't be this way. And it doesn't have to.
* Change patterns of love-neglect
Keep this simple. In fact, the simpler the better. The goal is to be consistent and make it last. (And most people, no matter how busy, can wedge simple, easy tasks into their routines.) Start with small, loving, and supportive statements. Here are few areas to focus on in your marriage or relationship:
* Messages of appreciation:
Any sentiment that communicates thanks and gratitude fall into this category.
Make it a habit to say "Thank you" more often, even when you partner or spouse does the little things that s/he has done a million times before (poured you the first cup of morning coffee, fed the dog, took out the trash...even if you had to ask). Make sure your partner hears your thanks. (In other words, don't mutter it or say it under your breath. Be generous with your verbalized gratitude.)
Beyond "Thank you," try to
add statements like:
"You're such a giving person."
"That was so thoughtful of you."
"That really helped me."
"I appreciate what you did for me."
"You're such a hard worker."
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
"That was kind of you."
As you grow more accustomed to pointing out the positive things, you'll naturally see places where these types of statements will fit. And of course your partner will be more motivated to continue to do whatever it was that earned your warm appreciation. So you shape a wonderfully reciprocal situation when you tell him/her you appreciate something.
Here are some other ideas for statements you can use in other situations:
* Messages of love and interest:
"I love you"; "I missed you"; "I can't wait to see you"; "You make me so happy"; "I love spending time with you"; "I look forward to spending time with you"; "I'm thinking of you"; "I love that about you"; "How was your day?"; "I'd love to hear about it"; "How would you like to celebrate?"
* Messages of support and commitment:
"We're in this together"; "What can I do to help?"; "Don't worry, I'll take care of it"; "That took a lot of courage"; "I'm so proud of you"; "You did a great job"; "I'm sending you good-luck vibes"; "I'm here for you"; "Tell me what you need."
* Gestures of love and support:
Actions often speak louder than words. So in addition to regularly sending your partner verbal messages of appreciation to make him/her feel special, take the necessary action steps to make this happen in other ways. And remember, big gestures aren't necessary. A relationship benefits from regular, consistent, smaller gestures, not large-but-rare ones.
A kiss; a hug; holding hands; touching one another; a smile; a loving glance; a wink; a wave; a thumbs-up; a high-five; making him laugh or smile; making her coffee; bringing home his favorite food; a loving note, e-mail, text message, or voice message; a gift; a pleasant surprise; helping out more; being present; being playful; planning for fun...
These lists are by no means exhaustive. Start with them and practice with your partner. It's important to feel the truth behind each statement of love you send. If you parrot statements you truly don't believe, your insincerity will come through. Your goal is to touch your partner's heart, and to do that you have to be in tune with your own heart first.
Feeling loved and appreciated go hand-in-hand. Love and emotional intimacy are nurtured by messages and actions that make you and your partner feel special. While this tends to flow naturally when couples are first dating, years into the relationship it often takes reminders and consistent effort to stay on top of this vital part of your relationship.
To discover other ways to create a deeper, more intimate relationship visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro's free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue...before your arguments control you."
About the Author:
Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach who is
passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship.
Rich and his wife Lucia founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching
business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
Check out the Experts page for Richard Nicastro, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Intimacy: http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/richard_nicastro.html
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*** Article: How to Achieve Your Goal This Spring:
Start Your Book, Launch Your Business, Lose That Weight - By Monica Carter
Tagore ***
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If you're like many people, you've packed away the goals you had at the beginning of this year. But I have a suggestion for you: Dust them off and get on your way to accomplishing them, starting today.
Spring is a time of cleaning out clutter and starting afresh. So let this be a time of getting rid of the disappointments that cloud your mind and making a new start on a goal that has meaning for you. If you follow some key steps, you can make your goal happen -- this spring!
I had a very simple desire this year: get my taxes filed before the April 15 deadline -- not on the day, not after the day with an extension. But filed early. With so much going on -- running a business, managing family life, traveling -- that was a tall order.
As January turned into February and February turned into March, I wondered if I would let this wish fall by the wayside. But I knew I could not do that. So I had to turn that wish into a goal; I had to create a plan and attach a deadline to it. And I had to act on that plan.
What about you? What desire do you have, but you've not attached any real structure to it? Often we fail to reach our hopes, goals, and dreams because we don't pursue them with any real structure. We want to "wing it." Well, success isn't about winging it.
It's about planning. And putting action behind that plan.
This works whether your goal is big or small. Don't trust your goal to a loose attempt at winging it. Many people spend a lot of time thinking and reading about success, but they don't spend the necessary time planning for it. Others, though, spend quite a lot of time planning -- and planning some more and some more -- but fail to act. And still others are always in action -- they flit from gig to gig or idea to idea, but never with much thought or planning. None of these is the right way to approach your goals.
Instead, a better idea is to take some time for all three elements: Think about what you want. Plan for it. And act upon the plan.
Consider a goal you'd like to accomplish within the next 90 days, something you would like to achieve this spring. Is it to lose weight? Is it to get in shape for a race? Is it to turn your hobby into a business? Is it to start on your book -- or finish it?
Now, settle on which of those goals you will achieve this spring. Think more specifically about that goal. Is it doable in 30 days, 60 days, or 90 days? Or is it more of a long-term effort? Choose a 30- to 90-day goal. Once you get the confidence boost of achieving this short-term goal, you'll be revved up and ready to move on to your long-term goal or dream.
Now, let's move those thoughts. Let's analyze and define what you want. Why do you want this goal? What will it mean for you to accomplish it? How will your life be better because of it? Then get to the point of defining this goal. Tell yourself exactly what you will accomplish. Don't just say "I want to grow my business." Instead, define how much you will grow your business and in what kind of time frame. Perhaps you will bring in five new clients this month, or you will sell 100 more units this month than last. Whatever you do, create a way to quantify the goal and add a deadline.
Now, it's time to fill in the gaps. How do you make this goal happen? Think backward from your deadline and consider everything that needs to occur to turn your goal into a done deal. Jot down all those details. Then go back through your list and turn that jotting into a plan. Include your action steps and the deadlines for taking each action. It's helpful to have your calendar or PDA handy at this stage because you can easily write or key in your deadlines so your overall calendar reflects your goal achievement plan.
Lastly, apply action to your plan. That means you actually have to do whatever it is you've written down! If this means rearranging your schedule, or taking some less important things off your to-do list, then you'll need to make these adjustments.
Each of these steps is critical to your success.
Your three-point approach to success looks like this:
1. Analyze and define your goal. What is your desire? Why do you want to accomplish this particular thing? What will it do for you? Turn the wish into a goal by defining it. Define the goal by quantifying what you will accomplish and in what kind of time frame.
2. Plan your goal. Brainstorm all the steps it will take to reach your goal. If you're unsure, do a bit of research. Search online for information about your goal. Talk with someone who has had success in this area, or who coaches or trains people in matters of goal achievement. Then go back through that brainstorm and organize your actions and attach deadlines.
3. Act on your plan. Adjust your schedule, rearrange your to-do list, and make other changes in your day-to-day activities that allow you to devote time and attention to your goal. Putting action to your plan will likely mean making some sacrifices in other areas.
If you follow these steps, you can turn your desires into goals and your goals into success. This approach has worked for me consistently over the years, and has allowed me to grow my business, build solid relationships, contribute to causes, and accomplish those fun things, such as running a marathon. Oh, and it also worked for me at tax time this year: I met my goal and got my taxes off early, so April 15 will be just another day for me!
About the
Author:
Monica Carter Tagore is the author of "Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your
Personal, Business and Financial Targets."
The list price of this book is $13.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com, go here.
She is also the publisher of Knowledge Wealth Series, a resource for creative entrepreneurs, providing articles, books, coaching, consulting, and speaking services. http://www.knowledgewealthseries.com
Tagore is an expert on goal achievement and success. She inspires and educates readers and listeners to take charge of their lives to achieve amazing results at home and in business. She has reached hundreds of thousands through her writings, including a long-standing newspaper column that addresses social, political, and cultural issues from the vantage point of personal accountability. She gives high-energy presentations with a contemporary message to address the pressing needs of individuals and companies navigating today's complex world. Her clients include colleges and universities, small businesses, organizations, and individuals.
Check out the Experts page for Monica Carter Tagore: http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/monica_tagore.html
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*** Book Review: Who Do You Think You Are? Discover the Purpose of Your Life -
By Keith Leon ***
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Have you ever asked yourself these questions...
* Why am I here?
* What is the purpose of my life?
* How can I make more of an impact?
If you were offered the answers to these burning life questions, would you listen?
Author, speaker, life coach, and entrepreneur Keith Leon, in his new book "Who Do You Think You Are? Discover the Purpose of Your Life," takes you on the personal life journeys of inspirational self-growth leaders (including 10 teachers from the hit movie "The Secret"), as well as other successful entrepreneurs, entertainers, educators, and healers.
Read the stories of
well-known people who have found their answers to these questions, and find out
when and how they became clear on their life's purpose. What do they believe
about themselves? How do they continue believing it? And how do they keep going
when other people (or the voice inside their own head) says, "Who do you think
you are to attempt that or do that or claim that?"? You will find the answers to
these questions and more inside this book!
*****
This book is for anyone looking for clarity in life direction, as well as for
those who appreciate the power of outrageous inspiration. Be one of the very
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The list price of this book is $24.95. To purchase it
from Amazon.com,
go here.
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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:
* Man donates kidney to best friend *
We like to think there
isn't anything we wouldn't do for a friend, but Michael A. Moore has the proof:
On Thursday, he donated his kidney to his best friend, and to do so he lost 50
pounds in five months while chronicling his experience in video clips on YouTube.
Stephen Gottschalk, 50, of Hillsboro, Mo., says it's clear his friend Moore, 51,
is saving his life. Moore, in return, says Gottschalk has given him a new lease
on his own. (Click
here for complete news story)
* Stars come out for taping of 'Idol Gives Back': Pitt, Witherspoon among many
celebs helping show raise money for charity *
"American Idol" -- and
just about everyone else in Hollywood -- were in a very giving mood. "Idol Gives
Back," the Fox singing competition's charity event, was taped Sunday night at
the Kodak Theatre and is scheduled to air Wednesday. The star-studded gala
kicked off with "Idol" finalists performing Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music,"
while performers from "So You Think You Can Dance" twirled in the background.
(Click
here for complete news story)
* Olajuwon, Ewing lead HOF class: Riley, Vitale, Dantley among others who
receive nod *
Coach Pat Riley, broadcaster Dick Vitale, players Hakeem Olajuwon and Patrick Ewing, plus three others have been elected to basketball's Hall of Fame. Also among the Class of 2008 are player Adrian Dantley, coach Cathy Rush and NBA team owner Bill Davidson. (Click here for complete news story)
** For more positive news, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html
Other:
* Hamburger-making device wins contest: Purdue University team's 156-step recipe takes Rube Goldberg honors *
A team of Purdue University students concocted a 156-step recipe to prepare a hamburger to win Saturday's annual national Rube Goldberg Machine Contest. This year's task was to assemble a burger consisting of no less than one precooked meat patty, two vegetables and two condiments, sandwiched between two bun halves. (Click here for complete news story)
* Husbands create 7 hours of extra housework a week: study *
For married women who can't figure out why they always have so much housework, researchers may have the answer -- husbands. A new study from the University of Michigan shows that having a husband creates an extra seven hours of extra housework a week for women. But a wife saves her husband from an hour of chores around the house each week. (Click here for complete news story)
* Nation's Zoos Cash In on Animal Artwork *
Brittany wields
her paintbrush with confidence, slapping it roughly against the canvas to
produce streaks of green or smears of orange. With apparent pride, she steps
back, inspects her work -- and extends her trunk to receive a freshly loaded
paintbrush. Brittany, an African elephant, is doing her small part to pay her
way at the Milwaukee County Zoo. Her artwork is sold at the zoo's gift shop to
raise funds. (Click
here for complete news story)