Self Improvement Newsletter- Issue # 514

Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 514, July 14-15, 2008

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* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 514, Week of July 14-15, 2008
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com

In this issue:

-- Quotes of the Week
-- Recommended Product of the Week
-- Article: How to Get Rid of Your Big BUT - By Keith A. Shaw
-- Article: Self-Mastery as a Way of Life - By Theresa Gale and Mary Anne Wampler
-- Book Review: Just Who Will You Be? Big Question. Little Book. Answer Within. - By Maria Shriver
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter

Current Subscribers - 268,889 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.

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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out. - Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900, Irish Dramatist/Novelist/Poet

To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say. - George Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish-born American Philosopher

You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. - Albert Camus, 1913-1960, French Author and Philosopher

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*** Recommended Product of the Week ***
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* DeClutter Your Life Fast *

Learn today how to get your home in order almost immediately... in the easiest possible way. There's nothing more energy-draining than living with clutter, so begin reaping the benefits that a clutter-free world will bring you today. To learn more, go here: http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/declutter.html

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*** Article: How to Get Rid of Your Big BUT - By Keith A. Shaw ***
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In one of my motivational stories, I talk about getting rid of the word "CAN'T" from your vocabulary. You see to me, "can't" is the one of the most disempowering words known to humankind. In this story, I'd like to inspire you to get rid of your big "BUT."

Of course, I am not talking about the "BUTT" that fills out the backside of your trousers, exercise shorts, or skirt. I am referring to the grammatical word that is used to introduce something that is true, in spite of contradicting and negating everything that was said before it.

On your quest for success, communication is critical. Without high-quality communication with the people that you relate to on a daily basis, whether they are at your place of business or your social circle, you cannot be successful.

Those who communicate best are the ones that are the most successful. Poor communication affects the way others perceive, understand, and react to you. When you are a person who uses the "BUT" in your conversations every day, it acts just like a double-edged sword in that it can make you appear to others in one of these two ways.

Here's my meaning #1 of how you misuse the word "But"...

When you use the word "But" in ways such as in the examples below, you contradict yourself and run the risk of being viewed as one who does not get the job done and makes excuses.

Here are some examples that you may have used in either your professional or personal life:

"I would have been on time to the meeting, BUT I lost track of time."

"I wish I was more successful, BUT I never had the chance to go to a university or college."

"I wish I was thinner, in better shape, weighed 20 pounds less, etc., BUT I have no time to exercise."

I think you get the idea. As a person who wants to be seen as successful, motivated, and determined, you do not want to give others the impression of one who makes excuses.

Here's my Meaning #2 of how you might misuse the word "But"...

When you use "But" in ways such as in these examples, it can make you look and sound negative. If you are in a position in which you have people working for or reporting to you, it can certainly demoralize and disempower your team.

For instance:

"I liked your presentation, BUT we have never done that before."

"We made progress, BUT we are still short of the numbers."

"Thanks for the gift, BUT it is not my color."

By now you may be asking (here's the deep radio announcer-type voice), "Well, what word should I use that does not make me appear as one who makes excuses or is perceived as negative?"

Let's take one example from each meaning above to illustrate a positive, powerful, proactive approach.

"I would have been on time to the meeting, AND I apologize for losing track of time. I commit to being on time to the meeting from this point forward."

"I liked your presentation, AND we have never done that before. Let's work together to ensure that we have all of the resources we need to be successful."

By using the positive word "AND" with careful selection of the dialogue that follows, you can turn a negative situation into a plus.

Remember my saying that "Every action you take or make, no matter how big or how small, defines everything that you do in life." Look at any of the successful people you know and study the way they communicate. You will see that through their words and tonality what comprises their formula for success. Take action today and get rid of your big BUT.

Copyright 2008 by Keith A. Shaw and Mind Body Spirit Central.com, LLC. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means -- electronic, mechanical, photocopying, audio or video recording or otherwise -- without the written permission of the author and publisher.

About the Author:
Keith A. Shaw is president of http://www.MindBodySpiritCentral.com, headquartered in Mount Laurel, New Jersey. He is an authority on motivation, success, self-improvement, health, and wellness.

Keith is the author and creator of "The Power of Thought" and "The Power of Concentration" Motivation and Success Systems, along with "The Power of Serenity and Peace" Spirituality and Happiness System. These systems have helped women and men around the world to achieve more in life than they ever dreamed possible. He also authored and produced "The Power of Qigong" Health and Wellness Systems (available on DVD) for increasing your health, wellness, energy, mental power, and more.

Check out the Experts page for Keith A. Shaw, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Motivation.

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* DeClutter Your Life Fast *

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*** Article: Self-Mastery as a Way of Life - By Theresa Gale and Mary Anne Wampler ***
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Old habits die hard, as the saying goes. And one habit that most of us share -- and find difficult to both notice and shake -- is our tendency to run "on automatic." Unconscious patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving are often the silent saboteurs of self-mastery in our personal and professional lives.

For example, a financial advisor is very clear that she must spend 60 percent of her day on the phone with clients if she is to retain their business and get necessary referrals. Yet she is continually attracted to working on less important administrative tasks. A president of a remodeling company has a very long list of projects but is easily distracted when employee and client issues arise, keeping him from finishing any of his projects. His list stays long, his employees stay dependent, and he is continually frustrated. A pediatrician who prides herself on being in control of her life now finds her newly established practice growing so fast that both she and her practice are out of control. She's overwhelmed and unsure. Her pride has been punctured, and now she is angry that she has lost control of managing herself, her business, and her staff.

Until we uncover and recognize patterns that have become habitual, we cannot achieve mastery -- that state of being where actions are guided by awareness and intention rather than habit and reaction. Many times, we automatically act before we apply any awareness to situations, and then we regret our actions or are unaware of their impact on others and ourselves. The key to mastery is the level of consciousness we bring to our thoughts, emotions, our physical presence, and our actions. Developing this level of awareness is a skill that can and must be learned if we are to achieve any level of mastery within desired areas of our personal and professional life.

As we move toward mastery, the results are compelling, rewarding, and powerful. At each of the seven levels of the mastery model, new discoveries are made that can positively impact how we feel about ourselves and the people around us and how we react to and shape certain situations. For business leaders in particular, self-mastery is a valuable tool that shapes results, daily quality-of-life issues, and helps gain skills necessary to become the leaders that will take us and our organizations into a bright and visionary future.

Key Elements of the Mastery Model

1. Observation
The journey toward self-mastery begins with observing a situation or interaction. Keep in mind that observation is a learned skill that gets easier and refined with practice. You may find at first that your observations occur at the end of the day as you reflect upon situations you encountered. Other observations may come in the form of feedback from your colleagues. As you become more comfortable with this skill, you will find yourself observing more "in the moment" rather than after the fact.

2. Awareness
Once you begin observing, you can tune into your habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving and their influence over your emotions and actions. For example, the president of the remodeling company mentioned earlier realizes his belief that other people's issues are more important than his own. He thinks, "If I just deal with their issue now, I can get back to my work." The reality is that by addressing these issues immediately, he unconsciously encourages people to continually bring their issues to him -- thus keeping him from doing his work. The result is that he ends up staying late into the night working just to stay on top of his task list. Awareness helps us discover the "why" behind what we do. Once we understand the "why," we are ready for the next step -- acceptance.

3. Acceptance
Knowing why we do what we do leads us to realize that we have not been "in control" but rather on automatic, acting from habit, faulty beliefs, and/or assumptions. This realization may be a difficult one to swallow, yet accepting what "is" right now is the launching pad toward self-mastery. Acceptance without self-critical judgments, knowing that we have always done the very best we could, is important and opens the door to the next step of mastery.

4. Objectivity
Now that you're observing and aware and able to understand and accept "why" you do what you do, you can step back and objectively assess a situation or interaction. Is your approach -- formulated by your habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving -- producing the desired results? Or is it time to choose a different course of action? In the instance of the president of the remodeling company, he was no longer willing to work hours into the night and realized it was time to choose a different strategy.

5. Freedom to Choose
You have arrived at the crossroads. When you're on automatic, there is no freedom of choice. But now you recognize the unconscious habits that drive you -- and you can consciously choose your behavior and response. For the financial advisor mentioned previously, this new-found freedom of choice may empower him to establish times when he will be available for administrative tasks. The pediatrician may establish clearly defined roles and responsibilities for her staff, stop doing administrative tasks that her staff should be doing, hold her staff accountable for the results, and let go of the belief that she has to micromanage in order to stay in control. She may choose instead to meet weekly with staff members and review a series of management reports that inform her of the state of the business.

6. Congruent Action
Choosing the next right action and doing it are two different animals. Intellectually we often know the right action to take, but old beliefs may inhibit us from doing them. A salesperson knows intellectually that right action for her is to ask the client for a referral, but when she gets in front of the client, she can't get the words out of her mouth. Congruent action means that you choose to act in a certain way and you do it! As you master certain skills, this way of being becomes effortless and automatic.

7. Mastery
Congratulations! You've crossed the finish line. But remember -- mastery is an ongoing process, a continuous practice that is available to all yet utilized effectively by few. As you continue to develop and refine the skills, behaviors, and attitudes that reinforce mastery, you will achieve your desired results and recognize the positive, productive impact on those around you.

About the Authors:
Theresa Gale and Mary Anne Wampler are co-owners of Transform, Inc. Gale and Wampler specialize in helping organizations and their professionals develop sales, client relationships, and leadership mastery. They can be reached at http://www.transforminc.com or (301) 419-2835.

Check out the Experts page for Transform, Inc.
*****
Make plans now to attend "The Leadership Challenge: The Art of Greatness NOW." This conference is jointly hosted by the leadership of Enneagram Worldwide and Transform, Inc. Learn more at http://www.transforminc.com/tlc.htm

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* DeClutter Your Life Fast *

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*** Book Review: Just Who Will You Be? Big Question. Little Book. Answer Within. - By Maria Shriver ***
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This slender inspirational book is a candid self-portrait of a woman in transition. A longtime NBC anchorwoman, Shriver was thrown into a tailspin when asked to resign after her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was elected governor of California; she writes, "My career was gone, and with it went the person I'd been for twenty-five years."

With a combination of self-deprecation and chutzpah, Shriver describes herself as the consummate overachiever, a people-pleasing, legacy-carrying, perfection-seeking Good Girl, now realizing that asking ourselves not just WHAT we want to be but WHO we want to be is important at every stage in our lives, not just when we're starting out in the world. That's because, in a way, we're starting out fresh in the world every single day.

Reprinted in full in this book is the speech Shriver made at her nephew's high school graduation -- a humorous meditation on fame, achievement, and self-worth -- that inspired the writing of this book. Shriver's earnest self-inquiry and her humility and readiness to regard herself as a 50-year-old work-in-progress make for a charming and genuinely inspiring read. (Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.)

*****
The list price of this book is $14.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for $10.17, a 32% discount, go here.

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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:

* Sick orphan baby finds a family in the hospital: Birth mother, adoptive mom had both given girl up due to her heart defect *

When she was just 2 weeks old, Emma Grace lay on an operating table, scrawny arms and legs spread out, tiny body dwarfed by the giant room full of steel and high-tech gadgetry. Her chest was raised so a surgeon could get to her faulty heart. No feet were pacing outside on her account, no eyes darting for updates. Before she learned how to smile or hold a gaze, Emma was given up twice -- by her 23-year-old birth mother, a drug-user, smoker and drinker who knew she could never care for the baby, and by a 48-year-old adoptive mother who backed out when she learned of Emma's heart condition and of her own pregnancy by in-vitro fertilization. (Click here for complete news story)

* In Silicon Valley, A Sea Lion Rescue: Sea Mammal Shows Up In Urban Creek, 3 Miles From San Francisco Bay *

In an urban creek, where a kid is lucky to see a frog, spotting a sea lion in the murky water is more than an adventure -- it's a mystery. "When I first saw him, and my mom told me, I was like 'Whoa! How'd he get down there?'" said Deja King, one of several sea lion observers. The young sea lion, about 150 pounds, showed up in late June between the concrete banks of a stream that meanders through the office parks of Silicon Valley, reports CBS News correspondent John Blackstone. (Click here for complete news story)

* Doctors hopeful easier blood thinners are nearing *

A trio of experimental drugs has doctors hopeful that for the first time in decades, millions of people at risk of lethal blood clots may soon get easier treatment. The first goal is a pill option for people who now need daily blood-thinning shots for weeks after knee or hip replacement surgery. But the ultimate goal is an alternative to that old standby warfarin, also called Coumadin, the nation's most troublesome lifesaver because of side effects and restrictions its 2 million users face. (Click here for complete news story)

** For more positive news, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html

Other:

* Opening new portals for the blind: Pulse Smartpen, WebAnywhere among affordable new technologies *

For blind students, surfing the Web or taking detailed notes in physics and calculus classes can require cumbersome and expensive learning aids. Two new technologies, however, promise to greatly expand access to text and graphics for the blind community without breaking the bank. The Pulse Smartpen, which debuts in retail stores this month, records and synchronizes nearly everything a student hears and writes. And WebAnywhere, a free Internet-based service released last month, works as a screen reader by converting Web site text to electronic speech. (Click here for complete news story)

* Gene discoveries yield autism clues *

Harvard researchers have discovered half a dozen new genes involved in autism that suggest the disorder strikes in a brain that can't properly form new connections. The findings also may help explain why intense education programs do help some autistic children -- because certain genes that respond to experience weren't missing, they were just stuck in the "off" position. (Click here for complete news story)

* Treadmill workstation brings exercise to office, slowly *

The maker of a new product that combines a treadmill and computer workstation is banking on the notion that companies will invest in products like the "Walkstation" as a way of keeping health care costs down and improving overall fitness levels. The device allows people to work on their computers while walking on a treadmill at a slow speed of up to three kilometers (two miles) per hour, enabling small amounts of movement that supporters say have the potential to reap big health benefits. (Click here for complete news story)

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