Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 522, September 8-9, 2008

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* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 522, Week of September 8-9, 2008
Publisher:  David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com

In this issue:

-- Quotes of the Week
-- Recommended Product of the Week
-- Article:  Is Your Personal Introduction Something Worth Remembering? - By Nancy Daniels
-- Article:  Is My Marriage Worth Saving? - By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
-- Book Review:  The Answer is Simple...Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! - By Sonia Choquette
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter

Current Subscribers - 270,756 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.


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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. - Willa Cather, 1873-1947, American Author

The only way to predict the future is to have power to shape the future. - Eric Hoffer, 1902-1983, American Social Writer

The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping. - Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, American Author and Achievement Expert

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*** Recommended Product of the Week ***
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*** Article:  Is Your Personal Introduction Something Worth Remembering? - By Nancy Daniels ***
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Have you ever been to a business meeting in which all in attendance had to stand and introduce themselves, and you heard basically the same thing from each and every individual?

One of the worst things we do as a people is our personal introduction. While the names and the businesses will be different, everyone sounds like everyone else; and by sounding like everyone else, we don't actually remember anyone else.

The problem is that in making statements about ourselves, we end up sounding like we are asking questions because the pitch of our voice rises at the end of each sentence.

In reality, you are not asking a question -- you are informing your audience that you are most uncomfortable and that you do not know how to introduce yourself properly.

To stand out from the crowd, why not practice your personal intro before giving it? While on my way to a business meeting, I will think about the type of people I will be meeting and plan ahead of time what I intend to say. I want them to remember me. Very often I will open my intro with a question and then proceed to explain who I am and what I do.

If your voice goes up at the end of each sentence, your tone exhibits a sing-song characteristic. That's what you hear as you go around the room and listen to everyone speaking in sing-song.

There is a very interesting scene in Stephen King's movie, "The Langoliers," in which a small group of people on an airplane are introducing themselves. What's remarkable about this scene is that in saying who they are, they sound conversational. Not one of the actors speaks in sing-song. Bottom line? They sound natural.

Many of the people with whom I work have difficulty changing from the sing-song style to one more akin to conversational; therefore, I record them and play it back so that they can hear what is happening.

Then I have them shake my hand (just as if we were meeting on a one-to-one) and introduce themselves to me going through their introductory statements.

1. Practice your personal intro by making statements about yourself in a conversational tone.

2. Try opening your intro with words other than, "Hello, my name is..."

3. Take your time when you give your introduction and speak distinctly. (If they don't catch your name, they definitely won't remember you.)

Next time you are at that networking meeting, business lunch, or chamber event, why not stand out from the crowd when you introduce yourself? You will definitely be worth remembering!

About the Author:

The Voice Lady Nancy Daniels is a voice specialist and president of Voice Dynamic. Holding corporate and 2-day workshops throughout the U.S. and Canada, she launched Voicing It! in April of 2006, the only video training course on voice improvement. You can watch clips from her DVD on her website, and 'before' and 'after' takes of her clients, at http://www.voicedynamic.com

Check out the Experts page for Nancy Daniels, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Public Speaking.
 

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*** Article:  Is My Marriage Worth Saving? - By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz ***
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We have said for many years, "Most marriages and relationships can be saved, but not all!" And our corollary has always been -- "Most marriages and relationships are worth saving, but not all!" Here's what we mean.

In the case of abuse -- sexual, physical, mental -- many failing marriages and relationships are simply not worth saving. In fact, to attempt to save them puts one or both partners in the relationship at risk for further abuse.

Frankly, we know that some marriages and relationships are not worth saving. And do you know how hard this statement is to make for people like us -- the eternal optimists who always see a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, who always see a silver lining? Unfortunately, the truth is the truth when it comes to love and life... and marriage.

Our six decades of life and nearly three decades of research on the topics of love and marriage, tell us that some relationships become so poisoned, so dysfunctional, and so hopeless that it is better to end them than to operate under the illusion that they are worth saving or can be saved.

We recently interviewed a young American couple that had been married for 14 years. It was clear from the beginning of the interview that this was not a match made in heaven. In fact, this marriage had failed so miserably that the only just and decent thing to do was end it. End it now! No amount of counseling and therapy, no amount of praying, and no amount of hoping were going to save this marriage.

For 14 years, the husband had "mentally abused" his wife. He discounted her every word. He made her feel insignificant by his words, his deeds, and by his actions. And even though his wife was pursuing a doctoral degree at one of America's most prestigious universities, he treated her like she was some kind of dumb cluck -- someone capable of nothing significant, lasting, or meaningful.

When we interviewed them, it became clear to us that she had had enough. She had had enough of his disrespect, his belittling, his mental abuse, and his coldness. She had finally decided that if she were to have any life at all, their marriage and their relationship would have to become history. So, she decided to end it.

The truth is, the mental anguish she suffered over the years had taken its toll -- on her, her three children, and on her marital relationship. She asked us the most profound questions of all -- "How can I continue to live with a man that makes me feel so worthless, so insignificant, and so meaningless? How can I continue to live with a man that respects me so little?"

Her questions reveal the truth of all this. Sometimes it is just time to move on. Sometimes, to save your soul you have to free yourself of all that is oppressive. Sometimes, you must remove the albatross around your neck if you have any hope of living out your life with happiness, hope, self-respect, and meaningfulness.

Sometimes, you simply must move on with your life before it is too late. For the couple we interviewed, her time had come. The action she must take was clear. The action she must take to save her soul and the souls of her three children became clear to her -- if she had any hope at all for her life and her children's life, the time to move on was now!

The simple truth is, some marriages and relationships should not and cannot be saved. As harsh and evident as this truth is, it cannot be avoided in the case of some marriages and relationships. And in the end, when you have exhausted the solutions available to you, you simply must cut the tithes that bind.

For 26 years, we have interviewed couples around the world and across cultures and continents. Most of the time we have concluded that most marriages and relationships can and should be saved -- but not all! When you can look in the mirror and honestly and truthfully say that you did your best to save your relationship with another human being, but to no avail, then ending it is the right thing to do. Life is too short to waste it in torment, in abuse, and in lost love.

Save yourself. Love well.

About the Authors:
With 26 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 42-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book, "Golden Anniversaries," exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories. Go to http://www.goldenanniversaries.com/Secrets_of_Successful_Marriage.html

During their distinguished careers, the Doctors have received some 65 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 350 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1,000 speeches, workshops, and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis, and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC. http://www.goldenanniversaries.com

Check out the Experts page for Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guides to Love.

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*** Book Review:  The Answer is Simple...Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! - By Sonia Choquette ***
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Having observed thousands and thousands of people from virtually every walk of life, with every advantage or disadvantage, Sonia Choquette can confidently say that the only ones who genuinely succeed, who find peace and joy in their hearts and take great pleasure in their experiences, have a different way of going about things. Rather than relying solely on their egos -- their defended, insecure personalities -- suffering the assaults life renders them, they turn to a higher aspect of their nature, the Spirit within, and let this direct their lives.

The ten simple yet necessary steps outlined in this book will allow you to make that connection to your authentic Spirit and experience your truth. As Sonia says, "These aren't just metaphysical theories, but are tried-and-true, grounded practices that will lead you directly back to you: the best, holiest, most delightful and delighted you, free of fear and filled with light." The most exciting part is that learning to love yourself and live your Spirit is actually quite simple when you realize the truth revealed herein: that you are not the ego, but rather are Divine, Holy Spirit. Once you do, everything will come alive in light and joy.

*****

The list price of this book is $19.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for $13.57, a 32% discount, go here.

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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:

* Stars 'Stand Up to Cancer,' raise $100M *

Entertainers not only gave their time to Stand Up To Cancer, Friday's three-network, primetime fundraiser. Some offered hope just by their presence. Patrick Swayze, diagnosed in March with pancreatic cancer, received a standing ovation when he appeared on the Kodak Theatre stage, saying: "I dream of a future with a long healthy life, a life not lived in the shadow of cancer but in the light." (Click here for complete news story)

* Broads give $400 million to biomed institute: Gift to help Harvard-MIT program accelerate genetic research on diseases *

Billionaire philanthropists Eli and Edythe Broad announced Thursday that they're adding $400 million to a joint biomedical venture at Harvard and MIT, saying they want to accelerate research into treatments for a slew of debilitating diseases. The endowment is on top of $200 million the couple have already given to launch the Broad Institute, which was created in 2004. (Click here for complete news story)

* Nerve Surgery Leaves Woman with Feeling in an Arm That Isn't There -- 'Bionic Woman': Claudia Mitchell Regained Sensation in Missing Arm *

Claudia Mitchell may look like your average 20-something college student. She is anything but. As a result of an experimental surgery, Mitchell has become the first real "Bionic Woman": part human, part computer. Mitchell's bionic life began in 2004 with a ride on a friend's motorcycle. The bike suddenly spun out of control, and Mitchell's left arm was severed by a highway divider. After her doctor's attempts to reattach the arm proved unsuccessful, she was outfitted with a standard prosthetic arm. (Click here for complete news story)

** For more positive news, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html

Other:

* Esquire magazine unveils cover with electronic ink *

Although readers keep shifting to the Internet, Esquire magazine's editor is sure print isn't dying, and he aims to prove it Monday by unveiling a 75th-anniversary issue with a cover that features electronic ink. "For the last couple of years I've been in search of ways to do something that shows that print is a particularly vital product," said Esquire magazine's editor-in-chief, David Granger. "I really do think that print is the most exciting and rewarding medium there is." (Click here for complete news story)

* Google is world's most powerful 10-year-old: Can company continue pursing ambitions without triggering a backlash? *

When Larry Page and Sergey Brin founded Google Inc. on Sept. 7, 1998, they had little more than their ingenuity, four computers and an investor's $100,000 bet on their belief that an Internet search engine could change the world. It sounded preposterous 10 years ago, but look now: Google draws upon a gargantuan computer network, nearly 20,000 employees and a $150 billion market value to redefine media, marketing and technology. (Click here for complete news story)


* Musical taste "defines personality" * 

Fans of classical music and jazz are creative, pop lovers are hardworking and, despite the stereotypes, heavy metal listeners are gentle, creative types who are at ease with themselves. So says Professor Adrian North of Scotland's Heriot-Watt University who has been studying the links between people's personalities and their choice of music. "People often define their sense of identity through their musical taste, wearing particular clothes, going to certain pubs, and using certain types of slang," North said. (Click here for complete news story)

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