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I sometimes hear from people whose spouse is insisting on a marital separation. The folks reaching out are understandably very reluctant about the separation because they don't know what to expect. Most people haven't been separated before, so they can't anticipate what their life might look ... Views: 310
I sometimes hear from wives who want to believe in their hearts that there is still a chance for their separated marriage. However, their husband isn't nearly as optimistic and he will sometimes try to convince the wife that she should just accept that there may not be a reconciliation. Often, ... Views: 316
I sometimes hear from wives who feel constantly blamed by their husbands. Many of them will admit that the issues where the husband places the blame DO exist. They also admit that these problems harm their marriage. Unfortunately, though, the husband refuses to see his part in any of these ... Views: 487
It's tricky when you know that your marriage is potentially in trouble, but you can't talk to your spouse about the same. You aren't wanting to bring up your issues to cause problems or to end your marriage. You want to bring up your issues so that you can save your marriage. But your spouse ... Views: 766
There are certain behaviors that wives start to notice when they suspect that their husband has begun to check out of their marriage. One example is when he is no longer interested in making sure that the home runs smoothly. Perhaps he used to take an interest in household maintenance (even if ... Views: 361
Sometimes, when you are reluctantly separated from your spouse, hearing the words "I love you," can make you feel as if you have won the lottery. After all, when you never wanted the separation in the first place, you are looking for anything that might give you hope that one day, the separation ... Views: 337
It's common for me to hear from people who are dealing with an unhappy spouse or an unhappy marriage. Rebuilding contentment in your marriage is challenging enough, but the challenge can feel insurmountable when your spouse expresses doubt about your ability to be a happy couple going forward. ... Views: 330
I often hear from people who want to get their spouse to stop constantly asking for a separation. Much of the time, they have considered many tactics in order to help them to achieve this. One common tactic is to respond with a firm "no" and then to ignore their spouse. They are hoping that if ... Views: 452
I sometimes hear from people who feel desperately unappreciated by their spouse. At first, they will sometimes try to tell themselves that they are expecting too much or being too needy. But, with time, when it doesn't ever get any better, it starts to wear on you. And you begin to wonder if ... Views: 384
There are many difficult situations one must navigate during a marital separation. Here is a common one: You been asked to give your husband space. You know that you should comply. However, once you do, how will you ever reconcile? If you rarely see him and no one is calling or visiting, how can ... Views: 477
I often get requests for tips on how to write a very effective letter meant to convince a husband that the marriage is worth saving and can be rescued if both parties work together to make this happen. Many wives want to go with the letter route because they feel that their husband is just not ... Views: 482
Many wives have separated husbands who are saying one thing in front of the kids, but are then saying different things behind closed doors. Many times, the husband will put on a happy face or paint a positive picture about getting back together when the children are around. But, when the ... Views: 475
I recently heard from a wife whose husband had been constantly telling her that their marriage "just wasn't working" for him anymore and that he was thinking about exploring other options. Needless to say, this wasn't what she wanted to hear. He'd been talking about separating, staying with ... Views: 325
I sometimes hear from folks who know that they are at a crossroads in their marriages. They are well aware that neither themselves nor their spouse is happy. They look around and they perceive that their marriage is "less than" that of friends, family members, or associates. So they start to ... Views: 319
I recently received an email from a wife who had just begun a separation from her husband. This was a very difficult time for her and she wasn't sure how she should proceed or act in the days ahead. She missed her husband and wanted to retain regular contact with him. It was unbearable for ... Views: 498
I sometimes hear from people who have come to understand that it's often best to comply with their spouse's request for "space." Often, the last thing that they want is a separation or a break. But often after some time, it has become obvious that nothing else is going to satisfy their spouse. ... Views: 486
I get a lot of correspondence from spouses (who are usually wives) that admit to me that they are "only staying married for the sake of the children." These wives often admit that they are quite unhappy and they worry that their lack of passion for life is going to influence or negatively affect ... Views: 372
Many of the people who write to me about the problems or troubles in their marriages realize that a break down in communication is one of the major issues that they face and need to overcome. As easy as it is to identify that you have these issues, it can be more difficult to actually improve ... Views: 407
The emails that I get are often from the spouse who wants to remain married and who wants advice on how to get their husband, wife, or partner back on board. Typically, one spouse will say, hint at, or act like they don't want to be married anymore, but this is not at all the way that the still ... Views: 381
I'm all about preventing divorce and stale marriages through positive means, but I have to tell you, I cringe when I hear the phrase "repairing a marriage." When you vocalize that you want to "repair your marriage," it's as if you view your marriage as a rusty, broken-down car that's been ... Views: 432
I often get emails from wives who feel that their husbands either don't love them enough or don't love them at all. I hear comments like "he doesn't love me nearly as much as I love him," or "I love him very much, but he doesn't love me back," or "if only it was enough that I adore him, but he ... Views: 377
I often hear wives recount mean, nasty, and negative things that their husbands have said. Examples are things like: "you are so selfish," Or "none of my friends' wives make the demands that you do," Or "it's sad that I don't even look forward to coming home after work because I know that you ... Views: 474
I received an email from a wife who told me that she was beside herself because her husband had just told her that "he didn't want to be with me anymore." I had to ask if this meant he didn't want to be with her sexually, didn't want to be with her as her husband, or just didn't want to be in ... Views: 513
It can get very frustrating when you've become dissatisfied with your marriage, but are also very unhappy with your spouse's attempt to resolve it. His complacency can make you feel as if he is taking you (and the marriage) for granted. You may get up your courage to tell him that this just ... Views: 405
When many of us have been in a relationship as important as our marriage, we can begin to define ourselves by it, at least in part. We come to identify ourselves as a wife, or as part of a family. So when that coupling is questioned or is paused, it can literally feel as if we have lost a part ... Views: 409
I sometimes hear from wives who are struggling with the reasoning that their husband is using for pursuing distance, a break, or a marital separation. Sometimes, the husband will try to tell the wife that the feelings are no longer there, if they were ever there in the first place. This can be ... Views: 399
I often hear from wives who are dealing with a husband who is expressing his unhappiness with their marriage. Sometimes, he even takes this a step further and begins to speak of a separation or divorce. At that point, the wife will ask questions to determine why he might be doing this. One ... Views: 532
I get a lot of emails and correspondence from women who are afraid that their husband is "falling out of love" with them. People often ask me for signs, signals, or clues to look for which might indicate that this is true. They are trying to match the behavior that they are seeing with behaviors ... Views: 531
Some spouses feel as though they might be at crossroads in their marriage. They typically aren't quite as happy as they might like, or they are experiencing problems within the marriage that are causing a great deal of stress. Because of this, they wonder if it is time to just let their ... Views: 461
I heard from a wife who was seemingly at the end of her rope. She described her marriage as "unloving" and said that very recently, there had begun to be a lot of tension in their home. When the affection started to wane, she didn't worry too much about it because she knew that it could be ... Views: 370
So often, I hear from people who tell me that either their spouse is blatantly telling them that he just isn't happy or his actions have made this so obvious that it is just impossible to ignore. Many of these folks feel that this is a little unfair because not everything that their spouse is ... Views: 380
It can be very hurtful and frustrating when your spouse constantly complains about a certain level of unhappiness despite improvements that you've tried to make. You might think that you've addressed his concerns, only to turn around and find that he is sullen and unhappy again. It can begin ... Views: 405
I sometimes hear from wives who feel as if they've become more of an individual than a couple. They feel like their relationship with their husband has become somewhat distant and, unfortunately, this was not their choice. There can be a loss of connection and that can invoke a feeling of deep ... Views: 707
Often, there's a period of time in your marriage where you know that a separation could be just around the corner. During this time period, you and your husband can kind of circle one another. Both parties can feel that one of them is going to make the move to leave. The question is WHO it is ... Views: 312
Believe it or not, I get this question quite a bit. It usually comes from wives who feel that a divorce or separation is imminent and they do not know how they are going to survive without living together and/or being married. These wives are looking for something to stop the bleeding so to ... Views: 387
I often get emails from wives who ask me to suggest ways to get their husband's love back in their marriage. Usually, with a bit of prompting, I can get them to tell me that they really fear their husbands are no longer "in love" with them. This is usually just a feeling or suspicion that they ... Views: 350
I recently heard from a wife who told me that she and her husband were living much differently than they did when they were first married. She said they used to always be together, laughing, loving, and experiencing things together. But now, they saw each other over the breakfast table without ... Views: 513
I often write articles about saving marriages. Perhaps it's because wives research this topic more than men, or perhaps it's because women are more proactive in their marriages, but I'm most often contacted by wives (and a few husbands too) who tell me something like: "Our relationship is in ... Views: 387
No one wants to look for trouble in their marriage where none exists. I've seen perfectly good marriages struggle greatly because one spouse decided to over-analyze and complain about even the smallest, most benign issues. So it can be very important to separate the big issues from the little ... Views: 426
If you were to ask a separated wife who was living without her husband if she wanted him back even if he didn't 100% want to be there, many separated wives would say that yes, she would want him back however she could get him. However, if you are a wife who knows that your husband doesn't want ... Views: 438
As women, we are often naturally affectionate. It is often not any effort for us to touch someone's arm, offer a hug, or tell those who we love just how great we think they are. In fact, many of us feel that this is at least one reason why we were put on this earth - to enhance the lives of ... Views: 407
The vast majority of people that I hear from do not feel understood or heard by their spouse. I find that many folks do not comprehend just how serious of a problem this might be. Sure, no one is perfect at communicating or at reading someone else's clues. And sure, all marriages can ... Views: 341
Many husbands who initiate a separation are fairly confident about their wives' level of commitment during it. After all, it is the husband who wanted to separate in the first place. Since many wives don't want any marital break, we often assume that the wife will cling to her marriage for dear ... Views: 420
I rarely get correspondence from wives telling me that their husband is too sweet, too sensitive, or too concerned about their feelings. Sure, I get the occasional complaint that a husband is too involved in the wife's life, but this is rare.
More often, I hear from wives who complain that ... Views: 435
When you're married but separated, it's very common to constantly evaluate what is going on with your spouse. You want to know what he's thinking, how he's feeling, and what all of this might mean in terms of what he wants moving forward. This can be especially true if you want to save your ... Views: 346
I sometimes hear from people who are looking for the perfect words to say in order to finally get through to the spouse who wants a divorce. Often, they know that this conversation is going to be a last-ditch effort, especially since they have had trouble getting through to their spouse in the ... Views: 375
Most of the wives who write to or reach out to me are trying very hard to get their separated husband to come home. Many fantasize about this for some time. So when it finally happens and their husband indicates that he would be open to a reconciliation, you would think that they would be ... Views: 397
In some matters, it feels as if it almost pays to be naive or in the dark - at least where your marriage is concerned. Because some knowledge can never be unlearned once you learn it. And when it is something that is very hurtful - like your spouse being unhappy or considering a separation or ... Views: 390
I sometimes get emails from wives whose husbands are dealing with some form of depression. The descriptions given run the gauntlet from clinical depression to a chemical imbalance, to bipolar disorder, to manic depressive disorder. And, in today's very tough economic environment, folks are ... Views: 455