There is an excellent discussion going on in my private group : "For years we read from women that we should play hard to get. There are countless books written by women on this topic. What are your thoughts on why women believe we should play hard to get and men believe we should not? Do you ... Views: 99
It's a controversial issue to be sure. There are many opinions on why men fail when it comes to meeting, attracting, and ultimately keeping exceptional women. Navigating all of this info can be a daunting task and lead you just about nowhere. Through years of study, conversation, and testing, ... Views: 100
The social dynamics between men and women is just as complicated as the sexual dynamics between men and women. Lies are actually a common aspect of these dynamics with many reasons why this is so. Why do men lie? You'll hear women ask this a lot. The answer is not as big of a surprise as you ... Views: 70
I recently discussed the modern preoccupation with penis size, and how exaggerated stereotypes cause millions of men to feel embarrassed, ashamed and overly anxious about their sexual performance.
In this article, we will look at the influence of modern media on this stereotype and how men ... Views: 111
Do you want to find out how to make a man want you? While it doesn't involve any love potions or magic spells, it does involve some common sense, a lot of confidence, and several tricks of the trade.
Despite the fact that every man out there is unique, you need to understand that there are ... Views: 83
Tired of dating and looking for a more committed relationship? The challenge is, how can you find a worthy fellow and keep in interested in you when every other female is on the prowl for him? You can't very well lock him up.
Start By Loving Yourself
This is a really effective method to ... Views: 76
Is there a shortage of men in this world? Sometimes it sure seems that way. You've noticed one or two good prospects. When will they take notice of you?
How can you get him to notice you without embarrassing yourself and looking needy and desperate? Scary behavior will only send him running ... Views: 65
A curious episode happened in the small city-state of Singapore in the fall of 1967. More than 400 panic-stricken men rushed to the hospitals there, fearing losing their penises.
According to Dr. Scott Mendelson, author of the book The Great Singapore Penis Panic:
“Each feared that if his ... Views: 150
A fan wrote me a heartfelt email: Hi Katarina, me and my bf of almost 2 years broke up about 3 and a half months ago. It was not a bad break up, but he felt like he could not handle the pressure of a full-blown relationship. In the time that we have been apart I have learned a lot and recently ... Views: 309
“If You Hate Popeye, Squinting & Smiling, Forgettaboutit”.
• 1. “I find your columns boring and mostly irrelevant, but you have wandered off the cliff when you drag in Exodus 3:14. What on-this-planet does the Bible have to do with your damn SpeedReading101?
• 2. Oh yeah Professor, your ... Views: 172
What kinds of ideas is porn putting into our heads? If the wrong things keep getting dumped in, your mental environment can get so polluted that your life is going to have problems. One of the most vital parts of mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are sexually. If these ideas are ... Views: 212
The rapid mushrooming of individual 12-step programs throughout the nation and the world in the past 50 years has given millions of people suffering from addiction back their lives, their families, their self-respect and their pride.
The methods of the 12- step programs have been borrowed and ... Views: 174
Loss of Relationships
The life of a sex addict gradually becomes very small, in terms of the number of surrounding loved ones. The freedom of self is impaired. Precious life energies are consumed. The rapacious need for a particular type of experience in the “erotic haze” (See Chapter II) ... Views: 179
Fifteen years ago, people didn’t even know there was such a thing as sex addiction, never mind how to get help for it. With Patrick Carnes’ groundbreaking book Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sex Addiction, people who suffer from self-destructive sexual acts had hope of knowing what ailed ... Views: 132
Mindfulness is a method of awareness and introspection which involves a conscious attempt to focus attention intensely on the present moment, noting thoughts, feelings, perception, images and sensation without judging them, participating in them or acting on them. The contents of the mind appear ... Views: 141
The usual response to the suggestion to one of my clients that hypnotherapy might be useful in the treatment of sexual addiction is typical of the general public’s misguided understanding of hypnotherapy:
“I’m afraid of going into trance – I might lose control”; “You’ll find out things about ... Views: 145
NLP is an approach to doing psychotherapy that was all the rage
in the 70’s and early 80’s. It is a model of the structure of your inner, subjective experience and how that experience influences behavior. It provides a framework for eliciting the way you experience reality with a focus on ... Views: 128
In my opinion, long-term psychodynamic therapy is the most efficient way to cultivate healthy personality development. The most comprehensive treatment combines the empathy, insight and relational abilities of a psychodynamic psychotherapist with the 12-step orientation and cognitive-behavioral ... Views: 123
Addiction to sexual behavior is a complex disorder that incorporates many aspects of your personality, bio-chemistry, socio-cultural environment, family-of-origin issues, thinking/feeling processes, self-esteem, and quality of relations with others. I see sex addiction as a prism; depending on ... Views: 97
A sex addict is a person who misuse sex as means of coping with unwanted feelings and life stressors.
He looks to repetitive, compulsive sexual activities to fill a need for constant validation that shores up a fragile sense of self. If women desire him in reality or through pornography, his ... Views: 107
Addiction to sexual behavior is a complex disorder that incorporates many aspects of your personality, bio-chemistry, socio-cultural environment, family-of-origin issues, thinking/feeling processes, self-esteem, and quality of relations with others. I see sex addiction as a prism; depending on ... Views: 92
Most addicts would stop if they could.
It’s been said that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to manage. This syndrome is a complex mixture of biological, psychological, cultural, and family-of-origin issues, the combination of which creates impulses and urges that are virtually ... Views: 96
Relapse in sexual addiction recovery is a reality. While all addictions are relapse prone, it is the sexual recovery community who suffer most from the demoralization of repeated relapse. After all, we can live without ever being around alcohol or drugs, but our sexuality is ever-present. ... Views: 118
The philosophical basis for cognitive therapy goes back to the Stoic Philosophers who taught that it is not the external event that causes our distress, but rather our perception or interpretation of the event that is distressing. According to the Stoics, people are capable of considering ... Views: 106
Group therapy is a highly effective treatment modality for sex addicts. It reduces shame and denial, limits isolation, increases socialization skills and the development of empathy. The process fosters the development of intimacy and helps sex addicts develop the coping skills they need to meet ... Views: 89
Sex addiction recovery typically involves at least psychotherapy,twelve-step groups self-help groups and medication. Medication, while not always necessary, can serve as the “water wings” for negotiating the changes necessary for growth.
Certain psychiatrists believe that addiction is ... Views: 80
“Brainlock”, a four-step self-help
guide for treating OCD is a book written by Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D., a physician who spent most of his career treating and doing research on Obsessive/Compulsive (OCD) behaviors. His has developed a four-part program self-help program that can be used for ... Views: 118
The diagnosis of sex addiction is the same as every addiction: loss of control and continued behavior despite adverse consequences. Sexual addiction differs from other addictions, however. Our sexuality reflects unconscious conflicts, longings and wishes of which we are not aware.
In essence, ... Views: 92
A number of years ago, in conjunction with my work with treating sexual addiction, a number of masochistic or submissive men began to come to me for help. The clients I saw did not seem immature or inferior. In fact, the reverse seemed to be true. They were successful by social standards: ... Views: 131
My work over the last fifteen years as a psychotherapist treating sexual compulsions has brought me into contact with men - and more men. They come to my consulting room wearing the mask of shame, humiliation, and confusion. Often, after a period of therapy, they come to a common link among ... Views: 88
Attachment patterns have to do with how the infant is tended to by his/her primary caregiver, typically the mother. This means that when an infant is upset, or dysregulated, the "good enough" mother soothes the infant thereby regulating his/her nervous system. This kind of consistent tending to ... Views: 91
Steve is a professional musician. A man in his 50's, virile yet sensitive, he is sexually compulsive around fetishistic sex. Since his early teens, Steve had masturbated nearly every night before going to sleep. As he matured, his need for masturbation increased until he was masturbated five or ... Views: 80
I've been sitting in a room talking to addicts for 25 years. All kinds of addicts. I've participated in the enormous struggles of alcoholics to get sober, cocaine, heroine, methamphetamine, food, love, nicotine, sex...all kinds of addictions.
My conclusion, culled from clinical experience, is ... Views: 98
Who are sex addicts and what are they hoping to find through their compulsive sexual behavior?
Sex addicts are people who, afraid of real, intimate relationships, repeatedly and compulsively try to connect with others through highly impersonal, non intimate behaviors: masturbation, empty ... Views: 67
Sex is surely one of the most powerful of all human experiences. It can drive people to the pinnacle of ecstasy or it can spiral others to the depths of self-loathing and despair. Sexual expression is meant to tie, or connect, to our core sense of self. Sexual energy is part of our life ... Views: 57
The True Self is capable of objectively observing the Sex Addict Self because it's not obsessively preoccupied with getting it's neurotic needs met. Psychoanalysts call this the “observing ego” and it is considered a sign of maturity. Proponents of Eastern spirituality call the True Self “The ... Views: 84
A sex addiction is a habitual response and a source of sexual gratification or emotional security. It is a way of coping with internal feelings and external pressures that provides the Addict” as “Not You”">addict with predictable and consistent immediate gratification, but that has concomitant ... Views: 82
How many times have you been irritated by your boyfriend's or husband's behavior and you thought the best way to help the relationship problem situation and make the behavior go away was for you to somehow either ignore it or try to internalize it in such a way that it doesn't bother you ... Views: 130
Dear Dr. Romance:
I suffer with sleeping alone in "our" bedroom while my wife of 14 years, sleeps in our two pre-teen sons' bedroom. I've tried to talk and reason with her about this important problem, only to fall on deaf ears. I'm desperate. What else can i do? ... Views: 191
A lot has changed since the publication of my book. I shared my personal story dealing with an emotionally unavailable man (EUM) I was seeing at the time. The friendship was great -we couldn't have bonded any tighter- but true to my own integrity as an author and coach (as per my own advice ... Views: 302
The world is changing. I see it all around me.
More and more women are focusing on heart-centered living, embarking on a soul journey that takes them deeper within themselves, creating more meaning in their lives.
It’s beautiful to watch as they grow and blossom into more vibrant versions ... Views: 151
If you’ve smelled the coffee recently, you’ve realized that men and women want and need different things in a relationship.
The assumption that your husband’s needs are the same as yours, for example, in how to be loved or treated, is what gets wives in trouble. We’re really two different ... Views: 218
Dear Dr. Romance:
I recently read "Does First-Love ever die? How to deal with a flame that still flickers" While my situation doesn't parallel the situations you described in the article, it's very similar.
About 8-9 mos ago, I ran into a highschool crush on a social ... Views: 256
Many moons ago, our American founding fathers spurred a dialogue of constructive conflict that yielded a model constitution and a free republic. These innovators risked their lives in perilous times to give birth to a new nation. Some became very wealthy (e.g.- Washington, Franklin) while others ... Views: 230
According Wikipedia the word, Manic means: affected with, relating to, characterized by or resulting from.
It's a perfect word to describe what many men are feeling in this rapidly changing world. For our purposes today we'll use the word MAN tongue-in-cheek in Manic. The reason is, men have ... Views: 259
There is no doubt about it. You have a deeper, sexier speaking voice. Even if your voice is nasally, there is a remedy. All it takes is the knowledge of how to discover your true voice and some practice in making it a habit.
1. Your first step is to learn to breathe with the support of ... Views: 363
When it comes to understanding what enmeshment is, it helps to look at what boundaries are. Boundaries are what create a sense of individuality between people. And although we are all physically separate, it does not mean that we are emotionally separate from another person.
This becomes what ... Views: 377
Jake is an atheist; Stacy is a devout Christian.
Bill loves to spend; Cristy loves to save.
Victor loves a vacation out in the woods, camping in a tent; Amy prefers a nice condo on the beach.
Steve gets up at 6:00 am in the morning; Megan believes the day should start around 10 ... Views: 243
Every intimate relationship goes through cycles—whether new or old—and one thing is certain: There always will be change involved in the process. It all comes down to how we handle change and the kind of energy that we want to create in a relationship with our partner. It is easy to get caught ... Views: 261
Bendicion! I have heard that we all have guardian angels that bless our lives and watch over us. However, I feel fortunate that my angel has been with me in a physical reality, since my guardian angel has been you. I feel extremely grateful and blessed to have you in my life. You ... Views: 187