Five Realizations of Good Relationships
“Life is not happening to you. It is responding to you.” ~Author Unknown.
In order to create good relationships, correct bad ones or continue good ones, there are a five things, that when realized, can help set up more ... Views: 141
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
Patriotism is akin to the healthy form of self-love: it consists mainly of pride in one’s self-identity and values based on one’s culture and shared history. Patriotism is not exclusionary, but inclusive. The patriot, in ... Views: 160
Alcohol Living with an addict can be a living hell. Unpredictable and dangerous, yet sometimes exciting and romantic. Never knowing when we’ll be blamed or accused. Not being able to dependably plan social events. As the addict becomes more irresponsible, we pick up the slack and do more, often ... Views: 188
Only 16% of all murder victims are members of the defendant’s family?
That’s according to the PDF file that pops open (or opens in your browser) when you click this link – and you must have the free Adobe Acrobat reader to see it. (Fortunately, it is included with most computers ... Views: 143
Summary: The basis for nuclear energy and tremendous power is seen in Einstein's equation showing that a small amount of matter can yield a huge amount of energy. We appreciate science discovering what helped put an end to World War II in the Pacific and now we have energy for peaceful purposes, ... Views: 146
Figure and ground relationship is very common among gestalt psychologists. It is one of the most popular laws of visual perception which states that figure-ground organization is a type of perceptual grouping that is a vital necessarily for recognizing objects through vision. It is known as ... Views: 118
Some esoteric questions can set us on a journey of discovery in the direction of ‘Know thyself’. One of them is related to this matter of freeing ourselves from the impact of society that corrupts our awareness. Can we fulfill our worldly responsibilities and yet not get threaded ... Views: 155
Stress has a bad rap.
Stress can create problems, to be sure. Some of the more common ones are include difficulty concentrating, trouble with focus and memory, moodiness, frustration and overwhelm.
There are physical symptoms as well – low energy, headaches, trouble with digestion, aches ... Views: 118
Ask anyone: they'll tell you that public speaking is a person's greatest fear. Yet according to a recent article by Steve Nash flying, heights, the dark, intimacy, failure, rejection, spiders, and commitment top the list. Add to that the fear of being alone, losing a loved one (especially a ... Views: 80
The essence in all beings is a spark of the Divine and so, it is the same in all. It is not identified with any nation, race or religion. Thus, it is anonymous, like a tree in a forest. The awareness of this fact brings in universal love in human beings.
The Ego-self and The True Self
We ... Views: 178
Psychological and emotional trauma is just as real and just as devastating as physical injuries, especially after something as distressing as an automobile accident. Anyone that has recently been in an accident should take a look at these tips that will help them transition back into their ... Views: 82
Don’t tell me you actually believe that Pilgrims, dressed in black, sat down with Indians, wearing feathers and colorful beads, for a big meal of turkey, cornbread, cranberries and pumpkin pie and created what we know as Thanksgiving?
If you do, we need to talk. Fast. It’s almost ... Views: 182
It's not easy to know what to do when you have a friend who seems depressed. Dr. Romance has some guidelines to help you support and care for your dear one.
1. Don't try to cheer your friend up. It just sounds like you don't understand.
2. Listen, listen, listen: Your friend ... Views: 173
At the age of 34 Rory had achieved everything he had set out to do when he decided to prove to his father that he wasn’t a waster. He had an exciting six figure salary job as a buyer of exotic furnishings for a global interior design company. Together with a large upscale home, a beautiful and ... Views: 163
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture - a book written for mothers - focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ... Views: 74
The law of closure in which we tend to see the incomplete figures as a whole while ignoring gaps and missing spaces. This popular law of gestalt psychology, shape our over all perception indeed. We, not only perceive pictures as a whole, rather every thing as a whole. By nature we do not like to ... Views: 129
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
The narcissist cursed - or blessed - with mental X-ray vision. He sees through people's emotional shields, their petty lies, their pitiable defences, their grandiose fantasies. He knows when they deviate from the truth and ... Views: 180
How many times have you heard someone say something truly judgmental, obnoxious, hurtful, sarcastic or otherwise inappropriate only to be followed by a “Oh, I was only kidding.” There may also be a, “C’mon can’t you take a joke?” “I didn’t mean it.”
Here’s a simple fact: They weren’t ... Views: 234
"Life is supposed to be fun", says some great people. And I totally agree with that, life is more fun than you think it is. We all want a happy life, and we all know that having a positive attitude feels better than a negative one. But for some reason, we are all attracted to and can be easily ... Views: 217
Vote after informal vote, I was in the top five. But when the official decision of who was going to move ahead from the Master’s degree program to the doctoral program, I was reminded of my mother’s words, “Michael, when one door closes another opens.”
I wasn’t among the five who were ... Views: 213
ABC approach is a methodology adopted to study the behavior patterns of a person. ABC relates to Antecedents, Behavior and Consequences. The three words may look very simple, but the complexities involved in this study are exceptionally high. Understanding the ABC's of behavior enables one to ... Views: 210
Most Supervisors tend to subscribe to one of two thoughts on employee motivation. Intuitive Supervisors can "Prime" their employees for success by simply setting positive expectations. Supervisors that are short-fused can and often do, set negative expectations that become self-fulfilling ... Views: 155
Ducks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn't think they're connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionery delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar ... Views: 143
Ready to say goodnight to Daylight Savings Time and good morning to Standard Time? We’ve enjoyed Standard Time in different time zones in the United States of America and Canada since November, 1883 when the railroads adopted the practice of standardized times in established time zones. It ... Views: 158
We all have different kinds of aspirations, perceptions and beliefs. There are many theories about how we form them, modify and re-establish them for our purposes. Among several theories one is that we make them instantly, indirectly, and unconsciously while experiencing a unique situation or ... Views: 162
While it’s all been said many times in a thousand different ways, letting go of something can be very challenging, particularly when it comes to someone you love, whether it be a child, a lover or a friend. I personally had a very difficult “letting go” episode a number of years ago that ... Views: 140
Stress is an unavoidable side effect of life. There will always be events that force you to undergo a large amount of physical and emotional stress, which makes knowing how to handle those situations key to keeping yourself sane. Below is a list of the six most stressful situations that most ... Views: 148
What do you do when you face a storm?
* Cancel your journey and run towards your sweet home.
* Look for a shelter/anchor around and wait for the storm to pass.
* Or run towards the storm to face it.
Well these are the 3 basic types of reactions which people do choose. (Some of you may be ... Views: 180
When you look in the mirror do you really see yourself? Is it a quick look with just a hand through the hair or a concentrated look as you apply your makeup? Are you focused on the hair while shaving or tweezing your face? Do you avoid the mirror? Do You Really See You?
I ask these ... Views: 172
My family owned shoe stores in Newark, N.J., when I was growing up. I worked in their stores from the time I was seven years old. One day, my grandfather brought me outside to teach me an important lesson.
He pointed out the competitor down the street and told me to observe what he was ... Views: 130
Tensions and worries are of dissimilar varieties. Some are based on relationships, some are financial and others are conceptual. We live in a variety of cultures, thus experiences are too complex and ambiguous at a large level. Notwithstanding, our many of the troubles could be solved through a ... Views: 161
Last night, stressing about undone tasks, I glanced in a mirror and saw my t-shirt, with its picture of a galaxy and a little sign sticking up out of its outer swirls, saying "you are here." A joke gift from my wife, I've worn this shirt many times - yet for once it stopped me in my tracks. In ... Views: 82
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
The narcissist can get better, but rarely does he get well ("heal"). The reason is the narcissist's enormous life-long, irreplaceable and indispensable emotional investment in his disorder. It serves two critical functions, ... Views: 176
William was one of those kids who breezed through most of public school with his great brain. He had a few academic close calls as a college undergrad, but he always pulled it off in the end. He completed his MBA at the top of his class at an extremely competitive university. Sure, there were a ... Views: 217
I thought if I played by the rules and did everything the way THEY said I should like a good little Catholic girl, I’d feel safe. I’d grow up, get married and have lots of kids like my Mom and live happily ever after.
Why would I even think that since Mom wasn’t living happily ever ... Views: 223
The idea of detachment mesmerized me when I heard about it in Al-Anon. To let go of the ones you love seemed unloving and uncaring and certainly not Christian. But it also seemed to be the NIRVANA you could reach even while living with an alcoholic.
I detached from my alcoholic father by ... Views: 173
Could it be that all of our problems stem from not listening to God? If prayer is talking to God and intuition is God talking to us, maybe we need to listen more. When I was in the midst of my crazy life with alcoholics from my father to my husbands, I felt abandoned by God because I prayed and ... Views: 136
My clients come to work with me for a variety of reasons. Some clients come to deal with anxiety, insecurity, or unhealthy relationships with food. The ‘presenting problem’ is often different, but the common motivator is usually the same – there is a part of their life that isn’t working and ... Views: 124
Wonder whether you’re in love or in lust? Whether your obsession about someone is a sign of love or addiction? Whether you’re staying in a troubled relationship because you’re addicted or in love? It’s complicated, and lust and love and addiction don’t always exclude one another. Endless ... Views: 224
"Belief is defined in Webster's Unabridged Third New International Dictionary as a 'conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon………………………… One must therefore take cognitive, behavioral, sensory, motivational, affective, and contextual factors into account ... Views: 146
The fastest, easiest test of the memory that I know is the one where you have to remember three objects five minutes after you’ve been told what they are.
This is part of a standardized test of cognition (typically testing for dementia) known as the Mini-Mental State Examination (MMSE). ... Views: 160
“Now that I am trying to change, I don’t like who I am.”
At some point, many of my clients say this or something similar. When they finally see a new way to be, but are not yet capable of acting that way, they begin to attack themselves.
judges gavel“I am a horrible person.”
“Being this ... Views: 112
The person who walks into a psychiatrist’s office looking for help is not necessarily the patient.
Often, they are simply the family of the patient.
Sometimes, they themselves have something – possibly a disorder, but maybe just an emotional or attitude problem — that would seem somehow ... Views: 130
I think this was said to me for the first, last, and only time at the first, last and only mixer for singles I went to in Wichita, Kansas.
I don’t remember the man’s name or face, but I do remember how he responded to my answer to his inquiry about what I did for a living.
“Psychiatrist? ... Views: 161
Freedom is healthy.
I have always believed this, and still do. My perspective comes from many places — my upbringing, when I was bombarded since an early age by my Russian-immigrant grandmother how wonderful it is to be in the United States, where we are free, unlike the oppressed and ... Views: 103
Running your business can be a veritable rollercoaster of emotions. When clients, money, and new ideas are flowing the high is almost untouchable, but that feeling of elation is often followed by moments of doubt, fear, and blockage.
Every piece of that cycle is normal, but having a solid ... Views: 258
Just because a drug is legal does not mean that you cannot abuse it or develop a dependency to it. Take a look at the millions of people dependent on prescription drugs and alcohol – which both are legal - and you, will understand. The legalization of marijuana does not change the fact that ... Views: 145
Ever had a goal in life? A lot of us do and this is what keeps us going every day. While many of us put in the hours to make that happen, it may help you achieve your goals as studies have shown there is a link between your subconscious mind and conscious mind. Most of the time, our ideas and ... Views: 85
The contemporary world has brought people numerous
engrossments. It made living quicker yet perplexed, it made interactions broader yet shorter, and it made communicating simpler yet abbreviated.
Despite the so many engrossments brought by media produced by people, there are likewise ... Views: 88
Many people state that a lot of things might be accomplished by placing the brain over matter.
There are indeed many things audio hypnotherapy can do for an individual, particularly when a person is determined to see matters to the very end or committed to do things that he trusts he can, ... Views: 75