Do you know the majority of individuals who have had critical, disapproving or abusive parents still carry the voices of those parents in their head? Do you know those voices serve only to undermine one's self confidence, self esteem, self worth, sense of adequacy, and the ability to succeed in ... Views: 125
Do you know that negative self talk consists of many internal voices in the back of your mind that regularly comment on how inadequate, worthless, useless, unattractive, vulnerable, undeserving, unsuccessful, ineffective, defective, deficient, incapable, incompetent, stupid etc. you are?
Do ... Views: 121
Forgiveness Strengthens The Capacity To Choose
The beauty of the New Year is already upon us! It ‘s the perfect time for personal reflection on the year’s ups and downs along with it’s challenges and triumphs. It’s an opportunity to affirm what went well and feel grateful for that. Perhaps ... Views: 153
by Dr. Tali Shenfield, Clinical Psychologist
Eating disorders are far more common than you may think. This disorder is the most common psychological problem treated by mental health practitioners. Eating disorders primarily affect women. Around ninety percent of people with eating disorders ... Views: 201
Do you ever feel controlled and stuck in old unattractive needy behaviors that take hold of you and repeatedly ruin the best of relationship chances? Do you feel confused about how and why this happens? Do you feel sufficiently frustrated by it that you want to stop trying to compensate simply ... Views: 184
Of course the best way to protect yourself from emotional abuse in a relationship is to leave it and find a better one.
Most individuals are unable to muster the courage to do this for many reasons that involve fear. I have written about this in another article (i.e. Relationships: The Fear ... Views: 118
Have you ever noticed yourself falling into an ever familiar pattern of self sabotage shortly after entering into a new relationship?
Self sabotage can take many forms such as engaging in addictive behaviors (i.e. drugs, alcohol, pornography, work , etc), engaging in affairs, withdrawing ... Views: 128
Do you know that self judgment and self criticism come not from you but from an intruder "voice" hiding in your unconscious mind? Do you know that voice is an impostor, has taken up residence inside you and is attempting to take over your mind and your life? Do you know that voice is generated ... Views: 109
Do you know that negative limiting beliefs hide out in your subconscious mind and from there wreak havoc on your life? Do you know most people aren't even aware of the large repertoire of negative limiting beliefs they carry, only the carnage they leave behind?
Do you know such beliefs have ... Views: 120
Do you feel inadequate, useless, like a loser or failure, incompetent, shy, weak, like your lacking in confidence, self esteem, and self worth, like you are unattractive and so on? Do you know that all of this can be changed simply by erasing the negative memories stored inside your subconscious ... Views: 143
Do you know that most individuals carry within them an internal critic that pervasively criticizes, judges, diminishes, undermines, and abuses (to name a few) you whenever it, not you, feels you have been anything less than perfect? Do you know this critic only serves to lower your self ... Views: 146
Can you imagine what it feels like to be constantly trying to figure out and conform to the expectations you think others have of you? I'm sure simply contemplating that drains your vital Life Force Energy from your mind and body. Now, can you imagine being totally indifferent, resilient, and ... Views: 105
I am often astounded at how many "relationship" coaches resort to the idea of psychological trickery as a strategy to get one's ex-partner back! There are one hundred and one reasons why is this not only "not" a great idea it's also a death knell for any chance of having a healthy, satisfying ... Views: 213
Do you know that the majority of relationships are co-dependent in nature? Do you know co-dependent relationships are stressful, conflicted, unstable, potentially abusive, and are highly prone to failure? Do you know co-dependent patterns are based in deeply buried subconscious programming that ... Views: 155
Do you know that if your relationship is on the verge of collapse that it is so because of deeply buried emotional forces that you may not even be consciously aware of? Do you know this means that your relationship life has been hijacked away from you without you even realizing it?
Do you ... Views: 112
Do you know that your relationship conflicts are determined not by external inter-relational factors but by deeply buried internal "emotional landmines" that control you and cause you to be "out of control" whenever something happens in your relationship that triggers them and leaves you ... Views: 182
When we feel different than the person we are projecting to others, it can cause stress and sometimes shame. Most of us have felt that way at times, and the ability to integrate again is usually fluid. But when we feel fragmented and fake most of the time, it can be extremely painful and ... Views: 132
Consider this: people say that human beings are designed to speak languages. It’s just part of how our brain has evolved. Yet, even though every little baby has the potential for language, it still has to be taught language in order to be able to use it. It is helpful to consider other ... Views: 202
In response to my previous JOT - Find Stillness - a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can't find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain, or are wildly worried about a child or other loved one, or have been rejected in love or had the ... Views: 65
Columbia University recently reported that women were more likely to develop dependency than men and also the reasons that women give for their use are different from the reasons that men use. The study further reported that women are more likely to feel guilt and shame associated with their ... Views: 101
Do you know that self hate and/or self loathing are unnatural human states that come about only as a result of old emotional baggage stored in the subconscious mind that hijacks your freewill and turns you against life itself? Do you know that baggage exists there in the form of negative painful ... Views: 116
Do you know that negative thoughts are generated deep in your subconscious mind for the express reason of controlling you and your actions? Do you know this means you already live in a "Matrix-like" mental prison in which your mind has been violated without your knowledge or consent? Does this ... Views: 85
Do you know that negative limiting beliefs such as: I'm inadequate, I'm incapable, I'm a failure, I'm stupid, I'm defective, I'm lacking and so on are essentially hypnotic suggestions that get rooted in the subconscious mind as a result of negative or traumatic experiences had in early life? Do ... Views: 140
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a 49 year old disabed vet, chest injury in pain 24/7. I am on MAJOR pain pills. Have not had sex with wife since one day I pulled her pants down and found a river of a substance that looked like human ejaculate but smelt like beer. Six months later she said it was ... Views: 136
In today's world of downsizing and job insecurity, burnout is scary. Luckily, experts agree that you can bust out of burnout and get back to business by taking control of your situation.
Getting Overwork Under Control
You're working so hard that you can barely remember your own name. ... Views: 181
Awareness of our relationship to the child can help our inner transformation as part of our soul-search. It would also ensure that the child grows in an atmosphere of love unsullied by the grownup’s emotional attachment and self-interest. All in all, it is a sacred involvement.
... Views: 164
Do you know that all relationship conflict arises because old emotional "buttons" are re-triggered which sets off an "emotional storm" rooted in earlier negative relationship experiences of abuse, humiliation, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, etc. stored as negative memories in the subconscious ... Views: 173
Do you know the main reasons individuals remain trapped in bad relationships is because they are: Afraid of being alone, Afraid they won't be able to take care of themselves and Afraid of being responsible for their own lives? Do you know that such fears leave them vulnerable to exploitation and ... Views: 128
There are many "heroic" tales about individuals, who after having been victimized, turned to revenge to right the wrong. In our society such acts are revered and the individuals who undertake them are considered heroes. I would like to suggest however that an individual who needs to get revenge ... Views: 150
Do you ever find yourself feeling unfulfilled, bored, empty, unmotivated, and like you're not really living a full, rich, expansive, creative life and feeling alive as your True Self? Do you feel that you react to life in habitually, pre-programmed ways that you refer to as your "personality" ... Views: 106
Breathing properly is one of the simplest ways to drain away tension and relieve your stress. By simply changing your breathing patterns, you can rapidly induce a greater state of relaxation. If you can control the way you breath, you have a powerful tool to reduce bodily tension.
Most ... Views: 106
Do you know that behind procrastination often lives a deep fear of failure that paralyses and destroys one's life? Do you know that fear is based on negative beliefs you have about yourself such as: I'm inadequate, I'm unworthy, I'm incapable, I'm useless, and of course I'm a failure to name a ... Views: 139
Do you know that old emotional baggage is the single most important factor blocking your success in life? Do you know that baggage lives in your subconscious mind, outside of your awareness, and pulls the strings that lead to self sabotage, failed relationships, bad decisions, failure, ... Views: 139
Do you know that most people, without realizing it automatically operate from a series of subconsciously driven programs that cause them by default to feel and behave like dependent, small, helpless and needy children? Do you know this makes them unattractive, unsuccessful in relationships, feel ... Views: 129
Do you know that like a puppet controlled by strings manipulated by an invisible puppet master subconscious negative programming works clandestinely from the deep recesses of your mind to usurp practically all control of your life away from you?
Do you know it also makes you believe that you ... Views: 132
Our ancestors kept telling us that we become what we eat; and highlighted the importance of the connection food has over the way we think which ultimately leads to the actions we take. Our diet is extremely important to our happiness as well as to the way we think, to the way we love one ... Views: 135
Do you know that all relationship conflicts arise because of unconsciously held co-dependent patterns held by each partner? Do you know such patterns are rooted in early negative relationship experiences stored in the subconscious mind as negative memories or rejection, abuse, abandonment, ... Views: 120
Do you know that feelings of inadequacy are responsible for the majority of failed relationships? Do you know that these negative feelings are responsible for and feed self sabotaging behaviors, shyness, low self confidence, low self worth, low self esteem, a fear of rejection, a fear of ... Views: 136
Do you know that without realizing it most individuals have been programmed with a simple "equation" that fundamentally stands in the way of fully embodying their self esteem? That equation is based on the conditioned notion that: one's self esteem is proportional to what one owns. Do you know ... Views: 98
If you haven’t yet recognized this fact, nothing good comes from being jealous. Jealousy is a deep-rooted emotion in the realm of pride. Jealousy damages relationships. Reasons for being jealous include: thinking we can’t have something… believing we aren’t good enough… lacking confidence ... Views: 195
So often we get so caught up in complaining that we forget that we have an option to choose to do something else. We have also conditioned ourselves to COMPLAIN about anything we dislike. And without realizing it, we have further given ourselves both a negative and deconstructive outlet in ... Views: 157
Things keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it's all gone, you're mad about something for awhile and then get over it, consciousness ... Views: 67
Even though it was two years ago, I can still remember the conversation like it was yesterday.
My friend, Janet, called me in hysterics the night of her company holiday party. Earlier that evening she was mingling with many co-workers. As the night went on, she found herself deep in a ... Views: 138
The dinner time conversation went better than I expected with Robyn. I convinced her that a temporary move to Bali Indonesia could be an adventure of a lifetime, and that the trip hopefully would help me to drastically change my fearful and negative beliefs that led to my anxiety disorder. ... Views: 106
The stimulant Adderall, is a drug that was intended to help people, mostly children and adolescents with ADHD and ADD, but has become a commonly abused street drug. Sadly, studies reveal that both Adderall and Ritalin abuse have become equally popular as a diet drug for stay at home moms. ... Views: 114
The Answer Was Right There
I quickly realized that who I surrounded myself with I became! My environment had a massive impact on how I thought, felt and even acted. The more I hung around and practiced with better tennis players than me, the faster I improved my own tennis game. The more ... Views: 101
On the 6th doctor I visited to look deeper into what these agonizing symptoms I was experiencing could be, I got some interesting advice. The advice I was given was unlike what anyone had ever told me before, and in time it showed me a natural path to overcoming my generalized anxiety disorder. ... Views: 102
You are unable to reach your weight loss or fitness goals. You try every diet. You register for gym membership. You buy the best equipment. Yet you procrastinate. You lose the same 10 pounds over and over again. You are too tired or too busy to shop for healthy foods and you order pizza. ... Views: 145
Do you know that a broken heart from a previously failed relationship is one of the greatest impediments to a) having another relationship and b) having a successful relationship? Do you know this is because the pain associated with the broken heart never actually goes away it only gets buried ... Views: 215
While I was presenting at a recent conference in Santa Fe, New Mexico I learned that the majority of my audience were carrying feelings of inadequacy within. As I helped them release such feelings once and for all I decided that it would be useful to also write about this issue here.
Feelings ... Views: 119