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The Narcissist in Custody Battles
Presentation made by Sam Vaknin
Author of “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”
In the 11th Annual and First International
Battered Mothers Custody Conference
HOW NARCISSIST SEES HIS CHILDREN
1. ... Views: 18
With the hectic 24/7 lifestyles in today’s modern world, parents of all different ages, cultures and backgrounds are routinely faced with multiple and often competing demands. With so many responsibilities and distractions from different sources, life can and does get overwhelming. Many times ... Views: 20
What if there were no television, no Internet, and no parenting books?
What would we do differently?
Would we treat each other with more compassion? Would we feel better about ourselves? Would we have less anger?
How would we raise our children, if we weren't constantly being told that ... Views: 26
As a parent I know only too well the cost incurred with having kids. When my husband and I decided that I would stay at home to raise my kids, there were many sacrifices we had to make. However; I looked at the value I was getting by staying home. I got to be there with my kids to witness every ... Views: 38
Parenting is one of the most remarkable experiences one can have. No one prepares for it. The skills develop as you go along. This is because every child brings on a different experience but raising children requires the similar adopted methods. However, as parents, we sometimes make the ... Views: 49
Once upon a time, in the city of Bathgate, Scotland, a full term pregnant girl, poorly dressed, was walking around the streets of the city aimlessly, carelessly but with great passion. She was quite educated, but no work at that very moment had put her in the most vulnerable situation. She had ... Views: 50
I'm not sorry!
As my 21/2 year old son sat on his baby sisters head, while having covered it with a blanket, I tried to use the incident as a teachable moment. "We don't sit on anyone, and we don't place anything over their faces" I said calmly. "Your sister won't be able to breathe if you ... Views: 53
“Give out what you most want to come back.” ~ Robin Sharma
As a mom, you have the influence to proactively transform your family dynamics. Your instincts and insights are always in-tune with the people you love. If you ever feel that things can be improved, then go for it!
Consider doing ... Views: 47
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am writing to you for your professional opinion regarding my 15 year old son. His behavior overall is good but when he gets angry he throws things swears a lot and just a few minutes ago destroyed my vacuum cleaner in one blow to the floor.
I am a single parent about ... Views: 103
As the single and sole parent of my five children for over 18 years now (2 boys and 3 girls), I hoped I would be a natural role model to my boys for the way to grow to be successful men. I wanted my boys to man up as soon as they were old enough. Work hard, be a leader, be kind to everyone, ... Views: 95
There were several instances over the past 18 or so years as I raised my 5 children as a single parent, where the reality of my kids moving on to their next necessary chapters of life, has suddenly hit me. I had such a moment last week, as I watched my middle daughter Rebecca get fingerprinted ... Views: 95
The definition of discipline as a noun is: the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, and to teach self –control and self-discipline. Other words to describe discipline are training, teaching, direction, instruction, regulation, coach.
The definition of punishment as ... Views: 89
Being a Muslim author and educator, I have been. Frequently, asked by some of my students about ISIS and why it is becoming a fixture in the media. I attempted to explain to them that ISIS has nothing to do with Islam or its principles in vain.
I realized that due to the extensive coverage of ... Views: 91
Since this is the 50th anniversary of one of the all time great, positive family movies, The Sound of Music, it seems appropriate to talk about some of your favorite things. More importantly, it’s an opportunity to be sure you know what your kids’ favorite things are.
The song “These are a ... Views: 197
Really! Overpraising Leads to Entitlement?
In my opinion praising your child has little to do with a sense of entitlement. Always giving into them, giving them what they want and never disagreeing with them, leads to a sense of entitlement. For many parents or caregivers they feel the guilt ... Views: 99
What the Heck is Wrong with You?
I actually have a smile on my face just thinking about this. I remember the day so clearly like it was yesterday. I can’t remember if it was a day like I had experienced before, but this particular day was pivotal. We were having a barbeque to celebrate our ... Views: 123
resiliencyMimi Is My Name and Positive Words Are My Game!
A few years back I was trying to help one of my grandkids figure out how to ride a scooter. He is the youngest and was getting pretty frustrated because his older cousins could ride one and he couldn't. I actually got on the dang thing ... Views: 159
There is a plague spreading across our country.
It's not ebola, or measles. It can be cured, though the recovery time is long and hard. Parents are passing it to their children. There is an inoculation for it, though many parents don't understand it, and aren't willing to do it.
It's name ... Views: 103
About 2.3 million children are accidentally injured every year and more than 2,500 are killed, says the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Although you may occasionally toss and turn at night worrying about your child being kidnapped by a stranger, the more likely harm for children ... Views: 109
Like so many aspects of parenting, when it comes to feeding your baby, there are a lot of options, a lot of opinions and a lot to think about. The bottom line is that you as a parent, along with your pediatrician, are most qualified to make the best decision for your child. Having as much ... Views: 66
“Nobody kisses me! Except my mother, my Grammy, my Aunt Kisha, my LaLa, my Nanny, my Dada, my Gma,” (and the list went on)
I knew the list cold. It was a list we agreed on together. See, I am his mother.
And, that little four-year-old who was being indignant and ... Views: 115
How do good parents miss child sexual abuse? It is simple.
By not asking the right questions.
One day my son went to a classmate’s home for a Halloween costume party. When I picked him up a few hours later I could tell by the ear to ear grin on his face that he had a great time. As we ... Views: 129
We live in a world that is very externally focussed, where so many people are looking outwardly for how to make sense of their lives. We often ask ourselves (without even realizing it sometimes), "What's in it for me?", and we find ourselves cautious about committing to things or participating ... Views: 116
Last December an outbreak of measles—which likely started with one infected person at Disneyland—caused an outbreak of the highly contagious illness that spread from California to six other states and Mexico. The incident also sparked a highly controversial debate on vaccinations that has ... Views: 126
The choice to adopt is a major event in a couple’s life as they set out on the path to create their own family. Whatever the reason for adoption may be, this process is relatively lengthy and does have a low rate of success if any steps are missed. For prospective parents, here is a look at a ... Views: 130
The Almighty has made our parents the means of giving us life and made them the source of providing us with unparalleled love and a sound upbringing. However, when we grow up, we tend to forget the period of our infancy and childhood and disregard their efforts. What ingratitude can be worse ... Views: 110
Childlessness, or the inability to conceive, is an often unappreciated source of pain amongst much of the general public.
A study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found the number of women aged 15-44 with impaired fecund city (impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a ... Views: 128
Handling Anger When Your Difficult Child Cannot
I believe that if you’re reading this, you care about helping your difficult child. That is one of the biggest steps in the right direction. I’ve seen too many adults that just want their difficult child “fixed”. The reality is that the ... Views: 176
If you’re a parent of a growing child, maybe you already experienced being lied to by your kid. If you have yet to discover your kid telling a lie, well, you should prepare yourself for it eventually. All children lie. Now, should you be worried about it? Should you question your modern ... Views: 203
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am an elementary school counselor. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask you a question that involves a child of a single parent. This 12 year old boy's father died less than a year ago. His mom has started dating again (I believe this to be too soon). I ... Views: 162
I have a question for you....and just so you know, the answer is supposed to be "yes", okay? Here's my question: Has your child every had a negative experience in a situation, and you just knew it was going to happen? In other words, you weren't surprised when it happened, maybe you were even ... Views: 185
Dear Dr. Romance:
My husband has a son with his ex-wife. He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom? I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what ... Views: 233
Gratitude is an attitude of thankfulness, and we can teach our children to choose gratitude each day. Practicing gratitude teaches our children that the world is an abundant place, and there is enough goodness for everyone. Gratitude allows children to focus on what they have in their lives, ... Views: 186
The social behavior which we systematically reproduce from generation to generation interests me a great deal. When we are born, an adult takes charge of us, because, first, as a species which is not self-sufficient we cannot survive without someone caring for us in the first years of life, and ... Views: 194
As a parent, I know how excited you must have been when your child uttered his/her first word. This milestone marked the beginning of lots of talk, right? Perhaps from time to time, though, you imagine what it must be like to carry on a thought in your own mind without the seemingly constant ... Views: 229
I grew up in a large family, more exactly, a large extended family. We lived on tight budget, so we could not afford any fancy meals, let alone eating out in a restaurant. Our dinners were always very simple and plain, but I enjoyed every minute of the family dinner time. During that time, ... Views: 239
We rarely hesitate to send our children to public school for 7 1/2 hours every day. After all it is required by law that we educate our children!
As a homeschooling family, I admit, we didn't always spend a full 7 1/2 hours in formal educational exercises; but we probably spent more than 7 ... Views: 248
I worked before at a playground, encountering different kids. Nevertheless, I loved my job. Their giggles are just so lovely and even in a short span of time, I’ve collected a fair share of musings.
Photo courtesy of playgroundquipment.com
The playground is vital to a child’s development. ... Views: 283
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have read several of your comments in articles on the dadsdivorce.com website concerning when to introduce a new girlfriend to your children. I have a unique situation. I have been divorced for over a year two teenage boys. A few months ago a woman I met long ... Views: 232
One of the most challenging tasks for parents is to avoid simply forcing patterns of behavior on their children by actually developing the character of their children. There is no easy formula for character development, but here are six steps a parent might consider taking:
Step 1: What Kind ... Views: 176
The jury is out on whether video games are safe for children. Experts agree, however, that too much time spent playing video games can be unhealthy for kids of all ages. In general, you should be worried if your child spends more than 30 hours a week playing video games or if other areas of his ... Views: 203
The divorce rate in the U.S. continues to hover around 50 percent and the dissolution incidence when one or both of the parties have been previously married is about 65 percent. This is a national travesty. The amount of emotional angst and money spent, not to mention the extent of trauma ... Views: 206
One the many problems of living in an image-based, superficial culture is that we learn to take life at face value. You have a dream about having sex with someone other than your partner and you latch onto the most obvious interpretation that you secretly want to have sex with someone else. You ... Views: 276
A few weeks ago my family and I spent five days up in the mountains. Overall, it was a lovely vacation, with much laughter, hiking, game-playing, and boating. But for some reason my husband and I were in one those spells when we bumped heads at some point each day. Perhaps it was hormones or ... Views: 262
“I’m just an anxious person,” I often hear my clients and program members say. The statement underlines a common globalization belief intrinsic to many who struggle with anxiety, which is: I’m anxious, I’ve always been anxious and I’ll always be anxious. In other words, anxiety is just in my ... Views: 269
"Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers,
Blossoming even as we gaze
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another,
Laiden with happiness and tears…"
- “Sunrise, Sunset,” Fiddler On The Roof
As any parent will know, the moment a child is ... Views: 297
Denial has gotten a bad reputation in a lot of circles. Most people were raised to be realistic rather than day-dreamers, but we live in a state of denial. This focus on being realistic actually places many limitations on you and focuses on the past rather than the future.
If you want to ... Views: 280
Image Courtesy of Chris&Rhiannon via Flickr, Creative Commons
Babies are born with a natural curiosity to figure out how the world works. Because being inquisitive drives the eagerness to explore and discover, the more curious a child is, the more he learns. But parents don’t really have ... Views: 208
While it’s all been said many times in a thousand different ways, letting go of something can be very challenging, particularly when it comes to someone you love, whether it be a child, a lover or a friend. I personally had a very difficult “letting go” episode a number of years ago that ... Views: 220
What is PLAY?
Image via Flickr
Play is simply a time for kids to use their toys and have fun ... or at least that's how it seems.
One day I watched my three children play. My eldest boy, Miggy (7 years old) took out his lego blocks while his younger siblings, Julia and Mikee surrounded him. ... Views: 308