He Broke Up With Me and I Want Him Back: What to Say to a Guy When He Breaks Up With You
Granted that he caused you great pain and heartbreak but you have found that you still love him and want him back. There are ways in which you can communicate your forgiveness and make him want to return to you as much in love with you as before! These tips will help you get him back.
Forget what he did and forgive him completely
Even if he hurt you by falling for another girl and dumping you, you can see that the new love affair did not last for long and you definitely have a good chance of winning him back. First and foremost you should try to forget the hurt and pain and forgive him for being so callous with you.
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Don't refer to the past
If you meet up with him don't let him see that you remember the past! If he notices you looking like you would like to have revenge or talk to him like you have not forgiven him, then he would not like to be in your company because you will only serve to make him feel guilty. However, let him know that you have decided to let bygones be bygones.
Be friendly and charming towards him
Don't be stiff and formal around him. Instead, be as friendly and charming as possible so that it puts him at ease and makes him really comfortable to be in your company again. If you help him to erase all guilt feelings towards you, he will be able to respond to your renewed interest and attraction in him.
Be willing to trust him again
Don't constantly be on your guard when you are with him because it will show in your behavior and attitudes. He will instinctively know if you trust him or not. Be willing to give him another chance and be as trusting and loving towards him so that he will feel that you have accepted him as he is and are willing to make a go of it this time around!
Ask him for help to show him that you trust him
Don't be too aloof and cold towards him. Asking him to lend you a hand with something or the other will show him that you have forgotten the past and are willing to trust him again. Do your best to attract him and look very sexy and appealing. He is bound to respond to your with his whole heart and soul.
Show him that you won't reject him
Even if he does have feelings for you and wants to get back to you, he might hesitate to pursue you all over again because of the way he dumped you in the past. He is afraid and insecure and feels that you will reject his advances if he tries to approach you. This is why you should let him know that you are not averse to making up with him.
Coax him gently and lovingly to come back
Don't rush things and take your time to get him back. Reignite the passion and the flames of desire so that you will be able to coax him gently into a relationship with you. You will have to time it right - too soon will not allow healing and too late might make you lose him altogether!
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While in a relationship you give no thought to whether you like being in this relationship or whether you're suited to one another or not. You just go along because you're already in it. Only after you break up do you stop to ponder over the value of the other person and that you want them back. Handle this problem with the astounding ways suggested.
Maintain your dignity
Dignity and self respect are the two aspects that you should maintain even as the break up is happening. He should not be allowed to see that you've crumbled because he's called it a day with you. Be brave and take it in your stride.
Ponder over the cause
With time on your hands it would be worth pondering the cause of the break up. How did it start and what caused this unpleasantness. Figure out where you went wrong and what can you do to alter the situation and change things.
Highlight his qualities
List out his qualities and whether he is the person you still want in your life. Once you've decided on this you will be able to appreciate the worth of your ex boyfriend and decide about wanting him back. Tell him you appreciate him and realize what you have lost.
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Transform yourself to his liking
There was something about you and your personality which attracted him when he first met you. Reflect over that and determine that you will be that same person once again. Work diligently on improving yourself and then let him see the difference.
Be attractive
Have you, with time, neglected to pay attention to your looks and overall turn out? If so, then why won't a man look at others and drift away gradually. There's no time to waste! Get to the parlor fast and get your face and hair done to compliment you.
Contact him
When you're ready to present yourself then get in touch. Send him a note or mail, telling him that you had been to his friend's birthday party and expected to see him there. Tell him all about the party and that some very old friends were there too and asking about him.
He's sure to revert
He's sure to revert to know who those friends were and this time you could talk at length. In fact invite him over to the get together you have arranged for these old friends. He is bound to attend. From here you could pick up the strings to meet him and talk things over.
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Getting your ex back is a long drawn process and at times this might just get to you. If you want to make sure that you don't lose out on your patience when you are on your mission you need to get a reality check. Here is what it is going to take for you to get your ex back and assess the approximate time frame for that.
The cooling off period
A cooling off period is an absolute must when you are on the mission of getting your ex back. This time, ranging from a few days to a couple of weeks, makes sure that you and your ex get the chance to get rid of the anger and built up frustration and are able to see eye to eye.
The purely visual period
If you feel that you can immediately get back into action after your cooling off period then you are wrong. Post this period you go through a stage where you only see each other. There is no talking involved here.
The time to assess your mistakes and disappointments
Meanwhile you will also need to consider the time to assess the mistakes that you made, the disappointments that you both faced and the steps that you need to take to rectify that. It is only once you have done this should you get in touch with your ex.
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Time to take action
Along with all the assessing you also need to give yourself the time to make the necessary changes to impress your ex. Your ex needs to see that the things that he/she had issues with have been addressed by you not just verbally but also in action.
The time to get comfortable around each other
Now you will need to get back in touch with your ex and offer your apology to him/her. You also need to consider the time that your ex will take to get comfortable with you post that.
The time to assess the apology
Think of the time that your ex will take to assess and accept the apology. It is only when your ex has truly accepted the apology that he/she will consider patching things up. During this assessment period it is best to leave your ex alone and not hound them.
Time for your ex to feel ready for a reconciliation
Finally, you need to start getting friendly with your ex and then finally make them feel that they are ready for reconciling with you.
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Well there didn't seem to be any ways to save your relationship at that time, true; but now that the break up has taken place you have to unlock the secrets that will tell you how to act around your ex without bending back.
No sweat, no nervous breakdown
Being nervous or desperate and mopping over your lost relationship is the last thing you'd want your ex to see about you. Pleading or begging too is best kept behind you, or else your ex will see their chance to determine the rules of the game. Keep emotions under control.
Avoid your ex a while
The best way to keep your emotions hidden is by avoiding your ex a while until things cool off. This will enable your ex to realize that they too miss you as much as you do and would be willing to get back with you. Avoiding your ex will avoid eye contact (the windows to your heart).
Minimize contact
Keeping away or not getting in the way of your ex and having to confront them is the ideal way to act around your ex. This also enables you to give your ex their space. It also helps avoid embarrassment when confronted. The longer you can handle this, the better.
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Moving ahead with life
You need to convince your ex that you are moving ahead in life and are not bogged down by the break up. This does not necessitate pursuing someone new seriously, though it may be in order to date. You wouldn't want to make your ex jealous under the circumstances.
Be friendly
If you sometimes come across your ex accidentally do not make an effort to move away or intentionally ignore them. The better way is be friendly and cordial. There is nothing to lose but you stand to gain in case you both have second thoughts about reuniting.
Be communicative with common friends
Common friends are the best way to handle and remain in indirect touch. Things will automatically get passed on to your ex and to you through these friends. They will be your via media until the time you either reunite or split for good.
Time will determine the route.
Determine your future actions
While all this is happening utilize the time you have to analyze and change your ways if you identify what and how to bring in change. This will make you a better and more desirable person, thus making your ex appreciate the new person you are.
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