I Suspect My Husband Is Cheating but I Have No Proof: How to Confront a Cheating Spouse with No Proof

I Suspect My Husband Is Cheating but I Have No Proof: How to Confront a Cheating Spouse with No Proof

Have you found irrefutable proof that the love of your life is cheating on you? Wondering how to confront a cheating spouse? Sometimes it is best to have a game plan in mind before heading out onto the field. This is one of those times.

Before you do anything either of you will regret it's a good idea to pay attention to these three things you need to know prior to confronting a cheating spouse. They may not seem like much but can make a huge difference in what you say and how you react to your cheating partner.

1) Cheating is not the end of the world and doesn't have to be the end of your marriage. It may feel as though it's the ultimate betrayal at the moment but the truth of the matter is that even good people who love their husbands and wives cheat on them. Your spouse cheating may ultimately change how you feel about your spouse but it doesn't necessarily change the way your spouse feels about you. Assuming that it does will be doing a huge disservice to both of you and the good times you've shared together. Avoid making that mistake (that so many people in your position make) if at all possible.

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2) Even what seems like the strongest evidence can be misunderstood. It is sometimes possible, unless you catch your spouse in the act with the other person that your spouse is innocent no matter how damning the evidence may be. When suspicions are high it is easy to see the worst case scenario. It is best to confront your spouse over cheating with that in mind. Some people call it holding on to false hope but it can completely change the tone of the confrontation.

3) A cheating husband or wife may have no idea of what he or she wants once the truth comes out. Chances are that your partner didn't set out to cheat. He or she wasn't actively seeking opportunities to have an affair. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier for you to live with the fallout. Before you go in with both barrels blazing it's a good idea to at least know what you would like to happen once you've gone on with the confrontation.

But, what's the best way to confront your cheating spouse? Confront your cheating partner with the facts and keep your cool. This has the potential to be an extremely emotionally charged situation. A "just the facts" type of approach generally works best at a time like this.

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It's common belief that repairing marriage problems is impossible after the magic "divorce" word is uttered. This belief would have you believe that there is nothing you can do when your spouse wants, or even talked about divorce. I must say that this is completely ridiculous - your spouse loved you and that's why you two are married. After the marriage, the circumstances changed, maybe you have changed, and now your marriage is in trouble. Repairing marriage problems is entirely in your hands and you can do it like I did.

I talked about "changes" in the marriage and the most important change that occurs after a marriage is the "taking for granted" issue. To open it a bit, let me say that by signing the marriage papers, you have officially pledged your whole life to your spouse. Before the marriage, when you two were flirting, your spouse was always in the danger of you leaving - after all, there was no pledge, and you could simply walk away from the relationship by saying so. However, this has changed, and you can't walk away easily any more. And this is what makes your spouse take you for granted. This condition is completely against the universal attraction law: It says that you are destined to want what you can't have. But the marriage pledge makes you easy to have - which can kill the love and make repairing marriage problems very hard.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

The thing that has to be done to reverse this situation is to come to your senses and understand that you do not belong to your spouse. I said to myself: "Why is it that I am constantly apologizing to my spouse and begging to him? In fact, won't this work the opposite way when trying to repair marriage problems, because it makes me easy to have?" Yeah, yeah, this didn't come to me all of a sudden. Like you, I got this from an outside source; but the important thing is that I understood it. It blew away the clouds that were blurring my vision and gave me a certain road to go on: When you want to make your spouse fall in love with you again and repair your marriage, you have to be less accessible for your spouse and not let him or her take you for granted.

What you need is to undergo this realization. Change the way you look at your spouse and your marriage, and you will instantly see that what you need to do (not to only win back your spouse's love but to keep it forever) is clear.

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If your relationship with your spouse has become strained, divorce is probably a word that has come up once or twice. In the heat of the moment, in the middle of a conflict, it's easy to throw this word out and not mean anything serious by it. However, if your spouse has been seriously bringing up the subject of divorce, it's not something you should be ignoring. There are things you can do, right now that will ensure you keep your spouse and rebuild your marriage.

If you desperately want to save your marriage you're going to be overly emotional. Whenever we're faced with the prospect of losing something that is very important to us, we have trouble controlling what we're feeling. Feeling desperate translates into acting desperate and this isn't going to help you in your quest to win back the love of your spouse. No one wants to be married to someone who can't control their emotions and appears desperate. You need to get control of what you're feeling and start viewing the situation in terms of the big picture. Many couples go through a rough patch only to rediscover their intense love for one another. Even though your spouse may not treat you the same way they once did, this doesn't mean there's no hope of saving the marriage. Remaining calm and in control is essential to keeping your marriage together.

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Separation is often viewed as the last step towards divorce. Separation can actually be the first step towards reconciliation. Many times, one spouse will request a separation because they feel they need some time and distance. The other may panic and feel that it's just a kinder and gentler way of asking for a divorce. A separation can be an integral part of the rebuilding of a marriage because it helps both parties understand what the other means to them. Your spouse may not realize how deeply they love you until they are living apart from you. As much as you may believe that a separation will mean the end of your relationship, it doesn't have to be. Accept the time apart and give your partner the chance to miss you and experience life without you. It may actually change their entire outlook on the marriage.

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People often assume that if they can just get their separated husband to come home, then things are hopefully going to work out just fine eventually. They figure if they can just overcome that biggest hurdle of him returning to them, then that is the biggest of their problems solved. But many find out that getting him to come home is just the beginning. Because it is very common for the relationship to struggle once this finally happens.

I might hear from a wife who describes it this way: "my husband and I were separated for about six weeks. During the separation, he came over quite a bit to see the kids, so we were in regular touch. A couple of weeks into it, he started telling me that he felt 'lost' without us. So I suspected that he wanted to come home, but I figured that it was best to let him ask me about coming home, which he eventually did. The problem is that he is very formal around me now. He will give me a peck on the lips before he goes to work and before bed. But that is the extent of it. When we have sex, it is very mechanical and certainly nothing special. I had always assumed that once we got back together, our relationship would have improved significantly and it would almost be like a second honeymoon. It is almost the opposite of this. I talked this over with my mother and my mother-in-law and they both say that I expect too much after being married for ten years. The thing is, I have friends who have been married for much longer than this who have marriages that aren't as platonic as ours. Am I wrong to expect more? Is this how it's going to be forever? Is everyone right?"

Here is my opinion, although that is all it is. Your mother and mother in law are only giving you their opinion also. And they are likely basing their opinions on their own marriages, which are obviously long term. I do hear from a lot of people who tell me that their marriage changes with age, but not all of them are unhappy about it. And I think that this is truly the key - whether or not it works for you and whether or not you are unhappy in it, which obviously you are.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

It is my belief that you get a chance to make the marriage that you want each time you interact with your spouse and this is especially true after a separation. But this isn't always as an easy a process as it would appear, especially if you didn't do extensive work on the marriage during the separation.

Many times, the couple finds that they miss one another and that they are no more happy being separated than they were living under the same roof. So, they will make the joint decision that the spouse who left should now come home so that they can live together once again and reconcile.

This all sounds good so far, right? But problems can arise when you realize (and start to feel the consequences of) the fact that you really never did anything to address or solve your problems. Therefore, the same problems are going to follow you through your reconciliation and make things awkward because of it.

By no means does this indicate that you need to settle for less than you want, though. It's not too late to do the work. And it's certainly not too late to work on serious improvements to your marriage that can significantly bump up your happiness level.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I can not tell you how many people I hear from who are absolutely desperate to get their spouse to move back home when all hope seems to have been lost. They would give anything to have the hurdle of getting him home over with now only have the hurdle of bringing the passion back.

I'm not saying that you are petty to want the passion because you aren't. This is an important part of your marriage and you are right to want it back. But getting the passion back is often easier than getting him to come home and it is very doable with a little patience and effective, hard work.

So to address the question posed, no, you don't have to accept a passionless marriage, but I would suggest counting your blessings that he is home and then working very hard on understanding what caused the separation in the first place, and, once this is addressed, then address the intimacy and passion.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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