Past experiences do shape our world view. Things we learn, often as children, keep us safe and teach us how to get along in the world. They also help us to form our view of the world and our beliefs about ourselves, other people and the world in general - we call these core beliefs. These beliefs affect our behaviour, attitude to self and others, and our thoughts and feelings. As we continue through life, we have other experiences, some add to our learning and some reinforce earlier learning and beliefs.
However, not all of what we learn is positive and empowering to us. For example, a frightening experience seen through the eyes of a small child might leave them with the feeling that the world is not a safe place. An adult might view that experience differently, but if that experience formed a core belief in the child, that belief will impact them throughout their life. Even as an adult they will continue to have an underlying feeling that the world isn't safe, even though at a conscious level they may not know why they feel that way.
There are of course many core beliefs relating to all aspects of life and each of us holds a number of them. Here are some examples of some negative core beliefs that are commonly held ... see if you recognise any of yours ...
• I'm not good enough
• I'm unlovable
• I can't do this
• it's not fair
• something bad will happen
• life is hopeless
• I'm hopeless
• I'm insignificant
• I must be perfect to be loved
• I'm bad
• something must change for me to be ok
• people will take advantage of me
• people are out to get me
• I'm unforgivable
• the world is a dangerous place
• I must be in control
• people are too sensitive
• I'm not capable
• People must think well of me
• I'm helpless
We all have our own core beliefs and the negative ones can impact our present and hold us back. Try to notice when you are being influenced by a negative core belief and see if you can choose to deal with it differently. With practice you may find it gets easier. If you would like to learn techniques you can use to totally transform negative core beliefs then please let me know.
Living in the Present .... here are some quotes I hope you will enjoy:
• Don't let the past steal your present. ~ Terry Guillemets
• You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. ~Jan Glidewell
• Would you keep a chive on your tooth just because you enjoyed last night's potato? ~From the television show Boston Common
• Do not let your shadow walk you. You are not a slave of the past. ~Dodinsky
• Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. ~Cherokee Indian Proverb
• The past is a good place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. ~Author Unknown
• Living the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causing you to bump into people not going your way. ~Edna Ferber
• Waste not fresh tears over old griefs. ~Euripides, Alexander
• The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post. ~L. Thomas Holdcroft
• People are always asking about the good old days. I say, why don't you say the good now days? ~Robert M. Young
• Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace. ~Author Unknown
• When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. ~Alexander Graham Bell
• It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis. ~Margaret Bonnano
• Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji, a similar version is also attributed to Alice Morse Earle
• Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence. ~Sholem Asch, The Nazarene, 1939
• When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past. ~Author Unknown
Sue aims to empower her clients and build confidence and self esteem. She feels it is vital to help clients find their own solutions to problems and discover their own talents and ways to achieve their goals.
Sue has been coaching since the late 1990's and is a Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner. She offers 1:1 coaching and runs Stress Management and Confidence Building workshops. Sue is a member of the Association for Coaching and the Stress Management Society