Has life dropped a big ball and chain around your feet? Do you feel like you’re sleep walking through life, unable to move frozen with some form of fear, fear about the future, fear about Starting Over and how to positively move forward?
Yes, it is an uncomfortable place to be, but the good news is, regardless of your age 35 or 70, all that can be changed.
Today, with so many social pressures often experienced through some form of loss, like the impact of GFC, it’s not uncommon for people to grapple with mental gremlins and blocks that hold them back from Starting Over.
While some of those mental blocks could have been there since childhood they can become more pronounced when some big loss occurs – be it financial, job, career, loss of a loved one, divorce.
However, we were not born with those blocks, those fears, rather for a variety of reasons we gather them along the way during our life, up to now.
With that in mind, let’s do a little visualising … a little dreaming.
What do you wish you could do if there were no limitations, if you had no gremlins or blocks whatsoever, and you knew you could not fail?
Do you have a little voice deep down that says...
‘Oh I’d love to do something new
I desperately want to change my life
I really want to write a book
I want to start a new career
I want to earn money again. I need to
I want to live life again
I desperately want to Start Over
When you begin thinking, wishing, and dreaming this way do any little mental demons creep or even instantly pop in to your mind, perhaps saying:
‘I don’t have the money. No ... I couldn’t. It’s too late. I’d have to learn too many new things. I don’t have the energy. My brain is too lazy. It’s too complicated. I don’t know how to. I’m too old.’
What if you changed the word ‘I,’ to another person saying those words? Has some else in your life said to you:
‘You don’t have the money. It would take you too long. It’s too late for you to do anything new. No ... you just can’t. You don’t have the energy. You’re too lazy. It’s too complicated for you. Anyway you don’t know how to.’
If any of those negative phrases are said or thought repeatedly, either by you to yourself, (and they can if you’ve been feeling depressed) or by someone else in your life, it doesn’t take long before you start believing those negative words to be true. And sadly, up to now, that is the way you may have been living your life.
Take a look at these two questions … and answer them honestly.
Do you know what is holding YOU back? Is it doubt, fear, worry about money, stress, others, does it seem too complicated, or is there something else you can specify?
Can you identify what’s holding you back from Starting Over?
Another good way to begin looking at that question is to ask yourself: ‘Is my life balanced?’
How Balanced Is Your Life?
Here’s a simple exercise to look at that. Write down the following words, or at the least areas on the left.
Fun & Enjoyment - Happiness, Hobbies
Relationships, Spouse - Current or future Life Partner
Business & Career - Job satisfaction, Career path
Family - Children, Parents, Relatives
Social - Friends, Sport, Activities
Health & Vitality - Exercise, Diet, Wellbeing
Prosperity & Money - Savings, Investments
Personal Growth - Personal-space, Spiritual, Artistic, Self Development
1. Grade each of the eight areas, by writing a number from 1–10. (10 being totally satisfied with
that area ‘1’ being lowest.) Do this without analysing the areas. Write whatever number
comes to your mind first. This is important.
2. Then look at your scores. What are two lowest?
3. Which two areas would you most like to move forward?
4. Moving forward. How would you feel if you could significantly move forward in both?
5. List some actions (even baby steps) you could take to start moving forward, in both areas.
Now revisit those eight areas.
Are there any issues within one or more areas that are holding you back? What answer immediately comes to mind? Write that down.
Does fear play a part in any of those areas? Be honest with yourself and if it does, you’re not alone. Fear plays a huge part in most people’s lives and holds them back from moving forward. Fear is often the core issue of why people say it’s too late, or too difficult to Start Over, to start a new phase of life.
Fear is a huge issue yet it can be turned around. These are just some areas in which fear plays a massive yet unnecessary role. Do any sound familiar?
Fear of being judged, of rejection, of embarrassment, of being alone or abandoned, of failure, of success, of intimacy, of expressing feelings, of the unknown, and fear of not being good enough, and all these can be cleared or reduced, so you can move forward positively.
This Revealing Exercise Removes Some Barriers
One way of quickly removing some barriers that hold people back from Starting Over is this little exercise. You will see why you can Start Over and why there’s ‘tons of time’ to do many things. The first age of 83 is based on statistics. Hand write your answer for these questions, don’t use the computer:
What is the average age, Western people pass away?
What is your age now? e.g. 35 45 50 55 60
Now subtract your age from 83 and you get 48 38 33 31 23
You guessed it, if you are 45 you have 38 years of your adult life left, so forget thinking how many years you have been on this planet. What are you going to do with those three, nearly four decades remaining? Remember some people live an active life well beyond 83. Why assume that’s when you’ll die?
Most people have far more of their adult life left than they realise. When you do come to that realisation, right away some barriers fall away and you feel a new sense of energy and vigour.
Let’s get back to reality:
The world is rapidly changing every few years. A new world presents new challenges... and new opportunities for people of every age.
It makes sense if you don’t want your life to be the same in 5 years time, as it is now, it’s necessary for you to adopt new strategies for your wealth, health, happiness and overall wellbeing.
Remember, you are in this world once.
If you want to change your life and Start Over, you need to make some changes and take action! No one else will do that for you.
So where would you like to be in five years time?
What are you going to do … waste that precious time? Why not DO something you’ve always wanted to do?
Be a star in your show…. the new chapter of your life. You can become an author, you can get a new career, you can live life again, you certainly can Start Over.
Realistically, you probably realise you won’t appear on the front cover of a fashion magazine, or be in the movies with your favourite film star, or become an astronaut, but you can become a star in your own unique show.
Your show … the show of your life. Regardless of your age, you can make this next chapter of your life the best ever. You can do that.
Diana Todd-Banks, Life Change Coach, will be presenting a one-hour tele-seminar on ‘What’s Holding You Back’. Go here to register your interest and to receive a free eBook ‘15 Steps To Embrace Change’: http://dianatoddbanks.com/lifecoach/