***Love and Sex After 60: It Can Be Better Than Ever

Look forward to continuing to have a fulfilling sex life after 60 that might be even better than your current sex life. How can sex be better after sixty? Let me cite the ways:

1. no fear of pregnancy
2. no need for birth control (if in a monogamous relationship and no venereal diseases)
3. no worry about the kids overhearing
4. more time as child rearing is voluntary (grandparenting)
5. even more time if you are retired (think of how many times couples say, "not tonight honey, I'm too tired")
6. while men take longer to get an erection and it isn't as firm, many men have more control and last longer
7. it's the difference between guzzling beer and savoring a fine wine
8. it's real cooking instead of microwave cooking

Microwave cooking? In our youth, we can become sexually aroused quickly, and passionately dive into sex with a can't wait to get to dessert mentality. Young men only need a modicum of visual stimulation to be aroused. The whole tryst can happen as quickly as you could microwave some popcorn. Older men need considerable, ongoing physical stimulation to get a maintain an erection. Thus like real cooking, it's boil the water, stir in the ingredients, and put a lot of love in it. Many men find themselves becoming more emotionally involved in sex. Their partners notice and appreciate the difference.

Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis and its siblings have given many men the ability to continue functioning when the desire is there but not enough blood is getting to and staying in the penis. It also gives a security blanket for men who are not having problems currently, but fear they might when they get older.

For women, the Women's Health Initiative study found that the risks outweigh the benefits for most women for conventional estrogen + Premarin hormone replacement for menopause. Hopefully this opens the door for more study of the risks and benefits for bioidentical hormone replacement tailored to a woman's unique hormonal profile based on testing the levels of all of the hormones and unique risk factors.

This is not to say that all seniors are interested in sex. A sizeable number of women, in particular, never enjoyed sex much anyway and are just as happy "not to have to deal with it anymore." And with women outliving men and more men dating younger women than older women, many older women find they can't find an appropriate partner. (That's an issue I will address in another entry.)

For those who because of disability, disease, or other problems cannot engage in intercourse, hugging, cuddling, caressing, kissing, snuggling, massaging, and possibly oral sex can still make for a fulfilling sexual life. With slow cooking, cake is good, even without the icing.