What is love? Why do we say that it makes the world go around, that money can't buy it, it can conquer all, it's the best ingredient of any dish, everyone needs it, very few find it, and so forth? What is it about this emotional state that makes people lie, cheat, and steal, even kill? Why does any discussion of the human condition require that we also discuss love?
The feeling of love in our heart is merely a perception of the energy that originates in our brains. Although we feel it in our chest, that feeling is an extension of the thought patterns within our brains, being translated through our neural network to the muscles of the chest, which then tightens, loosens, or just feels “wiggly”, depending on our mental patterns. The reasons for this are still up for debate, but we know now that it's an electrical impuse in our nerves that makes us feel love in our hearts.
If love is in our brains, why do our brains have so little to do with who we fall in love with? Romeo falls in love with Juliet, a girl from a rival family, because his brain told him that this emotion was more important than fighting families. We fall in love with people that are bad for us because for some reason, our reasoning gets unreasonable. We use our brains, instead, to justify this bad decision, rather than get us out of it. Surely, Love is more than just a mental pattern of electrical impulses in one brain. In all actuality, we know that true love takes two brains; two human mental patterns of electrical impulses.
Love, as an energy, is a full-body connection between two individuals. It begins when our auras open up to one another, and we get a glimpse of the real human below all the masks. It could be instantaneous, or it could take months of trust to build up before the auras open up, but that is the root cause of love. At the point where we get a glimpse of the true human spirit below all the surface masks, we are naturally inclined to allow our own masks to drop, if only for a moment, so that spirit meets spirit; electrical current meets electrical current, and the two fuse a new connection.
What the two individuals do with that connection after that is left to the laws of human interaction. This state of “masklessness” is the state that a baby is born into, which is why parents bond with their babies immediately, sometimes even before they are born.
Infatuation is the attempt to make that connection from one individual, without the input from the second person. A good metaphor for this is the electrical wire that has been cut from its pole, and is now dangling, spouting sparks as it twists around like a snake. The energy keeps coming, and since it's got no where to go, causes havoc in the lives of all who get near it.
While you cannot force someone to love you, you can, however, create a good environment for love to grow. By allowing your masks to fall, you encourage others to do the same. When you open up your own aura, you will find others who will reciprocate and attempt to make that connection with you. Not all connections are made at the heart, either; some, as you probably know, are made through the mind. And there's probably a few you can think of – especially with people who are very good cooks – that are made at the stomach!
Which brings us to the title of this article. The difference between being alone and being lonely is that all of us are alone. Even those of us who have created “true love” in our lives are alone. Being alone means being in your own space. It means not having any energy around you in human physical form. Nobody is in your head except for you, and that's the way it is every morning when you wake up. Despite the occassional feeling that someone who has been in your dreams is still hanging out to talk to you, there truly is no one in your head but you. You may or may not have a warm body in the bed with you but, either way, you're still alone in your head. Always.
Being lonely, on the other hand, means not having any of those energetic connections that we call love. Simply because you have a partner does not mean you have that connection. Those connections come and go throughout any relationship with anyone, and that's what leads to human drama. The idea that you make that connection and it stays there for 75 years is a lie that has been perpetrated upon us by sellers of romance products and family values. That's the myth, that's the rainbow's end. There is no such thing as “never being lonely again.” Even for those who have been married for 50 years, there are times when lonliness overwhelms, simply because the other person cannot connect at that particular time.
People in your life will come and go. Even those who say they will love us till the end are surprised when the end comes too fast. Sometime in your life, whether you like it or not, you will be alone. None of this means you have to be “lonely”.
If you take this energetic connection out of the concept of emotionality, and look at it scientifically, you realize that energy input in the form of human interaction is what cures the lack of energy that we interpret as loneliness. Someone who is “alone” probably has energy connections to friends and family, even if they are not in the same location. Someone who is lonely has no connections, or connections that are old and falling apart. The lonely person is starving; the alone person is getting a well-deserved break.
If you find yourself feeling lonely, the most convenient thing to do is to fill that void with energy of some sort. Positive energy can be found in places of natural beauty, museums or galleries of beautiful art, or in the refranes of complex pieces of music. Meeting new people in places that interest you is a fun form of filling a void in your energy, especially when you have no expectations of those people at the outset. Simple conversations with the right person can change your day, and sometimes even your life!
If you find yourself alone, recognize that this is a typical condition, and make the most of it. Take that time to meditate, ground or breathe. Use it to write in your journal, work on a personal project, or do something nice for yourself. This is your reward for being where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there. Take advantage of the break you are being given, and don't dwell on being “lonely.”
Love is there for the taking, if we just open up and allow it to happen. Lonliness is always with us; the question is do we choose to be lonely, or do we simply see ourselves as being alone?
As the daughter of Nema, author of Ma'at Magick, I was spiritually"trained" early on. When I moved to the West Coast I went off on my own path, Dzogchen Tantra, and was drawn to open a metaphysical bookstore. I was approached by my customers to teach what I knew, and thus, a spiritual teacher was born.
I have been teaching Magick and Tantra since 1996 in Oregon and Washington. I am currently president of the Mystic Arts Gathering and Information Circle, (MAGIC) and a member of the Nine Houses of Gaia. High Priestess of a Traveling Tantric Temple space, I have helped facilitate many local festivals, including Spiral Rhythms, and the Northwest Fall Equinox Festival which allowed me get to know other authors such as LaSara Firefox and D.M Kraig.
I have a Bachelor's Degree in Clinical Psychology from Washington State University, Vancouver. I currently work with at-risk high school students in a private school system,while working on my master's degree.
I write occasional articles for Widdershins newspaper, and a column in Open Ways called "Ask the Priesthood." I've been on KBOO Radio's "Positively Revolting Talk Radio" program as a guest speaker, and have been asked to sit on panels regarding GLBTQ sexuality at Clark College. While my psychic gifts have been with me my whole life, I have spent my professional years honing my skills and helping people see beyond their paradigm walls for over 15 years.
I have written a book, "American Tantra" which I hope to have published by 2009. My methods are traditional, but my delivery is very down-to-earth. As a licensed minister, I can also facilitate weddings, funerary processes, and dedication ceremonies. Please feel free to contact me for psychic assistance such as tarot readings, aura readings, ghost busting, energetic clearings, and the like.
Sorry, I do not do telephone or internet consultations. All of my work is done locally.